bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №97628
 09.05.2014
Did you go to the jewel?
He came out of the mist,
I drank half a glass of vodka.
I pulled out the scarf, the sausage:
"Good in the native forest!"
The silent song continued.
I cried about the unfulfilled.
Looking into an empty glass.
He went into the mist again.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97627
 09.05.2014
My wife works in a kindergarten and says:
The girl accidentally pushed the boy from behind, and he turns and says:
"You are a dog!"
The teacher said to her:"ay-ai-ai, said, it is not so!" And the boy replied to her:
"Oh, daddy to mom always says that!"
And the teachers of our daughter said, “You don’t know what we all know about you!”
And when they were accused of inadequate behavior by the child’s words, the answer was: “Let’s agree: we won’t believe everything your children say about you unless you believe everything they say about us!”

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97626
 09.05.2014
Here is the advice:

All the things, wives/girlfriends take with you "for company" for shopping. Take it and go with her to the gun store! Especially if you have a license to buy something to "choose, touch, sample everything you like."Yes, not forgetting to say in the beginning: We are for a minute.

and----

Oh, such a thought had visited me once. Only I, then turned to everything about spinning, pulled my own into an impressive size fishing store. Literally from the threshold I heard her "WOW, HOW THING IS INTERESTING" and until she re-examined and touched the thousands of shining flashes and hundreds of bright floods, we didn't leave, forty minutes there wandered. And I just wanted to buy the thread on the shovel, even a little bit prepared in advance without delivery.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97625
 09.05.2014
From comments to the news about the dismissal of the designer Samsung Galaxy S5

Alaska 14
And who has been dismissed: the one who holds or the one who circumcises?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97624
 09.05.2014
In 2030, Russia will begin dynamically exploring the moon.
Take Siberia first.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97623
 09.05.2014
If Fate gives you a choice, it is not Fate.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №97622
 09.05.2014
I live in Stockholm, my son is in eighth grade. Yesterday I got a soap from his school director.
Dear parents! Look at the painting of your child. Take action immediately. School is not a place to express political views.
Further, the attachment of the belt portrait of a man with a swastika, a tail from his head.
I answer.
Dear Director. Thank you so much for taking care of our son. We know that the school must remain politically and religiously neutral. Since both of my grandparents were real heroes in the fight against fascism on the sidelines of the Second World War, and both grandmothers were heroes of the rear, this picture is not an agitation of political views, but illustrates family traditions. Like my ancestors spent five years of youth. Thanks again for the care.
kissing and hugging,
The Parents.

Come on fucking.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97621
 09.05.2014
The police just called at my door. When I opened it, they said my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle.
I sent them off because my dog had no and never had a bicycle!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97620
 09.05.2014
I can not clarify:
to this

I look, people began to appear who do not know or have recently learned about Chechen militants, such as Ushat Pomoev, Podryv Ustoev, Rulon Oboev and so on... And began to wave the Bulgarians and so on. "The beard" has these humorous names already wrapped under the ass. People are all the same :)

And what about such famous personalities as Japanese motorcyclist Toyama Tokanava, Czech journalist Jerzy Nedelnik, French tennis player Michel Dolbanu and many others.
Well friends, is it possible? Jerzy Nedelnik can only be a Polish, and the Czech - Maczal Cats.
And, I will add, the French: de'Peu de'Bluy, and also, the Turkish: Taburet Abrigai

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97619
 09.05.2014
Here is :

"xxx: I was driving, you know, today in the tram. Suddenly, the radio broadcaster got a spell and he said, “Be careful! The street of Panfilova".
XXX: Before going out, I thought about it."

This is also the case in the Moscow metro. He said "Be careful. The city of Lubyanka". I remembered the 37th year and I went...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97618
 09.05.2014
<Angelofnet> <the bad voice mentally pulls out the snarin song> Space maps sent to the tablets with keys and crack, so as not to pay the bugs.

[ + 23 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97617
 09.05.2014
No one noticed the seats.
— — —
People who always know better than the authorities what to do, always painted a picture:
You are a ruler in difficult times. Imagine that you are a good and good ruler.
And, the boldest assumption, you are a wise ruler.

And now you see with your mind that there are actually only two options. Or pour the blood on the soil of the country, suppress potential rebels (at the same time, a million-two innocent people will fall under the cradle, but otherwise it doesn’t work out), blow up a bloody tyrant, but stay in power, with a whole country.
Or to be kind to the end, to forgive and admonish, to allow rallies, to let go of the murderers, to extend a quiet existence for some time.
As a result, get an explosion that will destroy you and shed blood on your country, it is already whole.

It doesn’t matter what choice you make, it’s important that you really know how to do it. Ready for that choice? And if you are sure of everything, and you rush to decide and judge, are you a normal person at all?)

of the burn.
— — —
Of course, good, smart and good rulers always have riots, and such that half countries must be shot in order to suppress them.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97616
 09.05.2014
And today a worker at work killed a fly printed by the Federal Law No. 44-FZ.
Dura lex sed lex, what can I say?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97615
 09.05.2014
In the fourth grade, we give the task from the EEG:

The heatboard is designed for 650 passengers and 20 crew members. Each rescue boat can accommodate 50 people. How many boats should there be in order to get enough of them if necessary?"

The child writes: “13 boats and 20 people will drown.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97614
 09.05.2014
You say you have snow and it’s cold. What do you want? On the street it is not me... Okay, convinced.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97613
 09.05.2014
A group of Ukrainian saboteurs headed by an experienced agent "Antisvin", mixed with the crowd, crossed the Russian border.... thoughts were heavy... the five previous groups somehow opened up and disappeared, although they went through a long physical and psychological training with the best CIA instructors... At the moment the crowd of refugees was met by one single sick border guard, lazyly clinging to the border column... "Antivins" was noticeably excited - "Today we are lucky", on the faces of the members of the group were mistaken smiles... "Who did not jump - that moscal" - the Russian border guard was tired to pronounce... "This was a failure!" - thought "Antis", "winkle" by jumping together with the rest of the digs on the Ljutov 7.05.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №97612
 09.05.2014
I am here to get acquainted.
I am a BDSM lover.
He is a slave and is looking for a mistress.
My husband :^)
Tagged with: facepalm
I: I took pictures of my loved one in the male belts of fidelity, with a strapon in the ass, etc.
Fuck, where did he come from?
I: I said I love the role of Dominic, there is no slave, but I will be happy to take it. Do I really have my inventory and do I agree to new experiments?
He burned and said yes.
I: I gave him pictures of the swab, the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine and my apartment.
The second day no longer responds. What is the place where he "is ready to do whatever you want"? If you can’t banally wash the floors... eh... not the slaves now... not the slaves now...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97611
 09.05.2014
Maelinhon: I bought headphones, in the meantime asked if it was possible to repair the old ones if they started shooting.
The seller got the moisture?
“Yes, they’ve gotten a bit of blood. From the ears.
All the staff slowly turns to my side, there is a grievous silence, they look at the tattoos.
What kind music do you listen to, forgive me?
- Eye... Metal, industrial, darkweiv... *understandably whispered* But it was not related to music. There was an ear injury.
“General Relief” – Aaaah...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97610
 09.05.2014
I am a meat-eater. I was in a vegan society. Listened on the journey:

Q: Did she eat anything? I saw her refuse everything. There was no grass, the grass too.
I don’t know, I haven’t seen either.
Zzz: But what did she have to eat in three days?
WOW: No one has seen what she eats... A special diet. Maybe she is a vampire?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97609
 09.05.2014
to this

I look, people began to appear who do not know or have recently learned about Chechen militants, such as Ushat Pomoev, Podryv Ustoev, Rulon Oboev and so on... And began to wave the Bulgarians and so on. "The beard" has these humorous names already wrapped under the ass. People are all the same :)

And what about such famous personalities as Japanese motorcyclist Toyama Tokanava, Czech journalist Jerzy Nedelnik, French tennis player Michel Dolbanu and many others.

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