bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №91227
 17.12.2013
There was snow in Jerusalem. The army allowed military vehicles to clean the roads.
An old Jew is sitting at a bus stop. There are young people speaking loud Russian.
The Jew himself: snow... tanks... Russians... Where am I?! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №91226
 17.12.2013
The newspaper news:
The government has rejected the promotion of digital television. But the current analogue TV is still going to turn off in 2018.

Is it really fucking us?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91225
 17.12.2013
From life at university:
"Let’s play all the flow in a bottle. If you want, you can also call girls"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91224
 17.12.2013
Yesterday news on Euronews: Brazil stops air traffic with some Guinea (whether Bissau or Equatorial) because the eve of the Flight of the Portuguese airline to BRASIL from Guinea arrived Syrian refugees with fake Turkish passports.
Globalization is globalization.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91223
 17.12.2013
I had the same during sex:
Do you want me? Is he hard? Is he very hard? Who is my girl? Answer to me!
Until one day I didn’t start having sex:
What are Irrational Numbers? How about the Bernoulli equation? What number did Gagarin fly? Answer to me! I want to discuss it!
XHHH: It helped

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №91222
 17.12.2013
If the Russian Post was written in Objective C:
If a person dies without signing off the newspaper, it leads to the emergency completion of the entire Russian Post. and Habr.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91221
 17.12.2013
here here :
XXX: Today was the best day of my life. Standing at the stop, waiting for his bus, Gelendvagen arrives, and there sits a man in a solid suit. He asked me how to get to the street. The Poor 69. I live not far from this house. I explained everything to him, but he said, “Go with me, you’ll show me.” As I approach the house, I see my ex-girlfriend (Irina) walking with her boyfriend. Naturally, I wanted to look very serious and important at that moment. She immediately approaches me and asks where and how. And the man at Gelendvagen was not yet away from us, and at this moment he squeezed that it was necessary to play, well, and he says to me:"The boss is waiting for you or you will go after business yourself". And the keys are thrown at me, at this moment I was specifically confused... Irina is running away in tears, her boyfriend has rushed after her, and I am standing in the shower and the man is beating in hysteria. Their faces had to be seen. It helped the man.
So I see how the affair grew up, became a film director and filmed the same filmmakers, where everything is false, everyone behaves like fools and the viewer doesn’t believe a single word.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №91220
 17.12.2013
It was long ago. I went for a companion to pull the furniture (I moved). His wife asked on the way back to buy flour for cakes. At four o'clock, we both came to him, well, I wanted to eat, but I don't have an apartment prepared for life. And his wife from the threshold: “Have you bought flour?” and we were even confused, saying that we did not drink any flour, but only a little vodka.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №91219
 17.12.2013
Not so long ago I understood why the drink erch is so called...

Erich was the first thing I saw this morning.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №91218
 17.12.2013
They usually ask during interviews what they have recently learned. by Dapi

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91217
 17.12.2013
How to cure bronchitis
Max Dorff as Ontebeotogom

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №91216
 17.12.2013
XXX is
As soon as a aunt comes and puts a flash on my table and chat says.. I'm somewhere clearly not in this world, but I see a candy at the edge of my eyes and think - oh, zbs, candy, and grab it in my mouth.
XXX is
Mla, what she thought – take away the flash flash, she’ll probably come to me again and never come.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №91215
 17.12.2013
The hooligans tried to beat the passengers of the trolleybus, but did not take into account that the same route was taken after the change of the fighters of the OMON

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91214
 16.12.2013
Letter from the morning in the corporate mail:

Dear Companions!

This Friday, during the loading testing of the project "Alcohol - our all" one of the participants in the project in the male sorting occurred overload with subsequent unloading of the protocol.
Big request: next time before the event begins, add in advance to the autopilot algorithm:

Contract.Assert(nLinters < MaxLiters)

Or put on the “blowing blade”.

Some sources recommend the following workarounds: “Remove yourself”, “Call a cleaner”.

Good mood in the upcoming holidays!

With respect,
and ***

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №91213
 16.12.2013
We had a bot on the project, conducting simple statistics, welcoming new participants and informing about receiving grants for activities. We decided to start the second to add tags to articles and pictures. The second bot worked and the first welcomed him. The creator of the second bot put several random answers to any messages addressed to him, such as "I bot, all questions to <nik>". The second slowly lashes the base, works, the first periodically sends him congratulations and thanks for the work, the second responds. I decided not to correct. So cute, two boots talk. Waiting for the birth.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91212
 16.12.2013
Olga: acquaintance went to her daughter for a concert
Olga: The Day of the Constitution
Olga: Every class betrayed the country
Olga: Singing Songs and TD
Olga: Govrit as they sang the Armenian anthem
Most of the room is up.
Olga: Where do we live?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91211
 16.12.2013
I saw something wonderful in the store today.

"Children's New Year's Costumes in Sale:
1st scunts
..."

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91210
 16.12.2013
I have encountered the vacancy of a lawyer International (!) Legal and Legal Advisory (!!!) Centre for Taxation:
The "Requirements
Higher education - jurisdiction"
Indeed, jurisprudence, jurisdiction – what a difference!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91209
 16.12.2013
Let you calm down! I have ordered, I have ordered! Your speech is coming to you!

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №91208
 16.12.2013
XXX: I was not lucky with my appearance, of course. From his father he inherited a low height, and from his mother a faint face. In short, I am 27, and still sometimes ask for a passport when I buy cigarettes. Accordingly, it is constantly undercovering from everyone in a row, complexes, all things. As I talked about this, I always murmured, and murmured to the wrinkles on my forehead, good such, deep.
YYY: And why is this long slide?
xxx: Today in the tram for half an hour listened, as two women in the summer crushed, that'such a little boy, and already all in wrinkles, it's all radiation, mobile phones, exhaust gases and wave their '.

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