Nemo: I’m in line for a ticket for the day. In front of me a girl pushes 500 rubles into the machine for a ticket for 100. Cupyr was not found in the machine, and the girl received four hundred pieces - and not just dozens. I even felt sorry for her, but she didn’t disappoint – with the words: “B#at, yes, I broke the jackpot!”", she grabbed the sweater in her pockets and was pleased to run to the electric car.

My mother is in panic: the printer doesn’t work. I approach the printer, remove the cat from the paper, the printing magically continues)

What if we call the pig Mohammed?

If the financial bubble has not broken, it will swell.
Bakutkin

I recently drove a young man to the subway. I am on the way, he is in a hurry, why not do a good thing... We come in, he takes out the wallet, begins to squeeze money, I tell him, money, say, don’t need, I am on the way, it’s not difficult, and so on. He thanked, smiled, but left a small amount of money in the room. Okay, not bad either. This case reminded me of another thing I want to tell you.
Sometimes quite late in the autumn, already a dark late evening, I was driving down a shallow suburb. From the sky comes something. It is cold, dumb...Neither in front nor behind the cars can be seen. The speed is not very high, but not the city. I pass by a lonely voting figure standing by the side. He flew, pretended, how long this voter would still stand, turned, returned, turned again. I stopped. Suitable for a woman. I see it frozen specifically. I say, “Sit down, cold, no matter where, but at least to a more busy place I will take you.” The Village. The oven is full, it is stunning. “Oh, thank you, I’m late on the bus, tra-ta-ta, la-la-la,” and all that. She told me that she is a medical worker, here, today is her birthday, a little late at work, noted, forty minutes stands, nobody stops (even, stands on the turn, in the dark...). I ask, “Where are you in principle?” Name the settlement. I say to her, “No, I’m going to curl a little earlier, and maybe not before him, but on the illuminated track I’ll take out.” We go. Suddenly she said to me, “And we went to my birthday, we’ll drink... tea, we’ll sit down, then we’ll be...” No, I say, thank you, of course for the invitation, I appreciate, very pleasant, but at home, you know, wife and children loved are waiting, in general, I can't. And here she’s on me like... no, not what you thought, but quite the opposite: HIDDY! She is swollen, resentful with all her appearance, proudly turns away, shakes her shoulders. I was somewhat stuck. I think I had the full moral right to get her out of the car, and let her blow on the side. But did not stand. He drove to the proposed place, to the outskirts. She walked out silently, but knocked off the door. I sit like a bag on the tail knocked. That is, it turns out that I did a good deed, and in response I did not hear a simple “thank you” (not to mention “thank you very much”), but received a treatment, as if I had been struggling to her all the way. In full growth worked the principle that “no good deed remains unpunished.” In general, I considered this case study just a fun incident, smiled, sympathized with that woman, and went home. Do good, people will be counted.

The FSB calculated a spy in the State Duma - it was the only MP without accounts and real estate abroad.

I read on the movie search another news about the seventh episode of ZV. They tell about the appearance of R2-D2. But that is okay. Killed one of the comments:
"The greatest mother-in-law
The history of the film, all the phrases to which one was whispered, returns with
a new portion of weakness and unnecessary"))))

AkzaN: The latest code check convinced me that our programmer’s ass doesn’t even grow his hands, but his fingers.

I work as a doctor in a private center. I answered the phone call:
and allo. Can you help in my case? I had a broken coccyx, and now in it the optic nerve is stuck and the vision falls.
Understanding that a woman is poorly acquainted with anatomy, for 5 minutes I explain that the optic nerve is no longer than 5 cm long and from the eye immediately goes to the brain, without entering the spine and can not get into the cone area. What I get the answer:
What are you telling me? I know my body better.
He throws the phone...

Do you drink?
Constance: I am
I cooked and killed myself.
Constantine: the fucking dialogue of two men

How tired you are of the propaganda of homosexuality and the insulting of the feelings of believers.
1st Propaganda (see in the dictionary) of homosexuality among minors, is about like a person came to school, and in the megaphone orets "Children, become gay, it’s cool!"
2nd Insulting feelings is an action specifically aimed at insulting feelings. That is to say, wiping out the Bible because it needs to be wiped out is not an insult. But rubbing the Bible in the church precisely because it is the Bible in the eyes of the parishioners is an insult.

Tatiana
In this country, the PZDC comes quietly, but colourfully.

Reflection on winter tyres.

Advantages: Graft, holds the road perfectly in any conditions, brakes without problems.
Disadvantages: Rubber syndrome is especially exacerbated (you are driving - normal, you are braking - normal, parked, got out, fell)

The boss called on the carpet. I raised the question - why did not organize corporations on the occasion of the professional holiday. We have decided to organize the aforementioned celebration. On his question about the prices in the restaurant, the boss received an adequate answer about the prices in that institution. After that (literally): something you know all the prices, in restaurants probably every day! So fucking you, not the celebration, have eaten completely fucking. I love my boss.

1st Propaganda (see in the dictionary)
and...
We look at the dictionary, and there - to hide - propaganda!

MissMaria: I sell my jacket from bobber. The collar and sleeve is a writer.
Leo #n: It’s in memory.

(After reading about the sinking of the Olympic torch in Sochi to the bottom of the bajkala)
Wherever it was not recorded, the next stage is "the Olympic façade in Sochi dropped in Sasha Grey"

I hold a meeting, my grandmother calls and asks: Do I not know what the yellow bird is shouting before the flight?
I don’t know if I’m flying out, or if I’m fighting.
I promised to ask the co-founders.
She discovered the Evil Birds for herself, stated that she, it turns out, had no childhood, and now the bathroom is constantly reporting about the curly wing!
Passed all levels, not knowing that the picture on the phone can be reduced, that is, almost without seeing the full picture, and collected all the eggs.
I feel like an old cynic.

> What did you attack Mattis? I have been driving on a litre for three years. When I go to the extreme
> I rarely go to the left,

Is that you?

I remembered.
As I was in the command in Moscow, I had to find a service center, I don't remember what I was going to give up, but that's not the point. The SC was at some address. I got to the stop I needed, found the right neighborhood and fell into a stupor. The entire neighborhood stands on one street, which in turn, curved by an incredible number of zigzags, passes almost through the courtyard of each house. All houses are of the same type, 3 entrances, not 3 not 5 floors. The neighborhood is constructed as if the designers poured out a pair of boxes of light bulbs and wrapped, and the builders in turn built it. There is no logic, no address. Nearby houses have numbers 42/24g and 9/41k. If there is hell on earth, it is he.