The Cossack Society of St. Petersburg announces a competition for the position of deputy ataman for relations with state authorities.

God, turn off my imagination.
Half an hour ago.

The cigarette packs are burning. There are now instead of evil inscriptions - pictures. Here before there was some awful child with the words "pretermity", apparently - Benjamin Button was scared. Now there is a rotten foot and the word "Amputation"!! What kind of amputation? ?
Yyy: Well, the state has not yet decided on the punishment for smoking in public places.
Do you cuddle?

The creativity of a woman is most fully manifested in her ability to refuse, giving each time a different reason.

How I got acquainted with the amazing German legislation.

One summer, I was on a tram.
It is hot. Arriving at the meeting place, he wanted to buy a ice cream.

He put his hand in his pocket and it was empty. There is no wallet.
It contained 180 marks and documents. Passport, there, credit cards, travel and so on.
He immediately informed the bank of the loss of the credit card. The Bank advised to write a statement to the Bureau of finds. In a few days, someone will return the wallet.
I got upset and went to the office. He named his name, address. I received a form for application.
While issuing the application, two police officers and a citizen in handcuffs appeared with them.
I complete the disappearance statement. At the end of the ear I hear their conversation with the clerk.
They brought a man who allegedly found a wallet in a tram and wants to hand it over to the Finding Bureau.
I put everything on the table and I heard my name. The officer read the passport.

I did not believe my ears! Not more than two hours have passed, and an honest citizen (although in handcuffs) has already handed over my wallet to the Bureau of Finding! The mind is incomprehensible!

In the wallet everything was in place – passport, travel, credit cards and so on.
There were only 180 marks. The loss of money did not bother me.
Passport and credit cards on site.
It turned out, the city police patrol noticed at the stop a man who held in his hands an object resembling a wallet and cracked in it.
One of the policemen, recognized in this man a thief, who was not once hit with a rack and even sat for a while in the wardrobe.
After that, the police caught the thief on the street and detained him for explanations.

Wöryuga immediately made a statement that he was heading to the Bureau of Foundations to hand over the wallet of the strap that ran out of him at the tram stop. Indeed, he went to the opposite side of the Bureau find.

Since there were documents and credit cards in the wallet, the police immediately called the bank.
Then we went to the find office. There they met me.

The thief swears that the money in his pocket is his own (just 180 marks)! The police asked me to write a statement about the loss of money.
But I decided to accept the loss of money and not be connected to the German justice system.

Clerk ordered the office to return the wallet with documents, but without money.
The police drafted a record of the return of my wallet and my refusal to write a statement.
I paid the Bureau a find of 15 marks for the work on the application.

Then the miracles began. Claire told me that I should thank the citizen who voluntarily returned my wallet! And even indicated the legally existing amount for returning the wallet without money. It was 25 marks.
The police confirmed that I had to “thank” the thief because he was “voluntary!“As a ‘honest’ citizen, he went to the Office of Finding to hand over my wallet!

A total of 220 marks in minus. I “lost” 180 marks, paid 15 marks to the Bureau of Foundations, and 25 marks to return the wallet to Vryug.

But he was convinced of the good faith not only of the police of Germany, but also of the inevitable enforcement of the laws, which force the victims to pay with the thieves.
Happy end! There is no money!

The epilepsy.

Two weeks later, I was sent to court as a witness.
During the interrogation, the thief could not explain where he earned 180 marks and admitted that he took them from my wallet.
The court ordered 180 marks to be returned to me, but the 25 marks I paid to the wretch for the "return" of the wallet remained with him, since no one could refute his statement about the "voluntary" return of the wallet to me.
The law is the law!

95% of women are looking for a man, and according to the signs it is the same man. Exceptionally decent, non-drinking, kind, financially and housing-provided, with a manic love for other people's children and divorced women and, despite all these merits, still single!
No one has ever seen him, but everyone is convinced that he is somewhere.

I just got a pigeon in my head!! to

Q: What is it???! to
You are a winner in life! :D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Q: Are you still alive?

X: Of course
X: He slipped his stomach on my face

The uncomfortable moment when a pigeon scratches your stomach at your face.

xxx: Here’s a generation that has grown up, which has already filled everyone with the phrase "This is a generation that has grown up..."

You say a plan in a psychic... I work in the court.med.experty bureau. We also have a plan! And as on the beaten - broken - raped as well as on the slugs. The more bodies the higher the ZP. This is how comrades.

Advertising on the forum "repair of machines"
Eat a bottle on the cover of the luggage compartment - beat the talking comrade about the sheldock and laughed, the morning when I looked at it - did not laugh. Vantus will not pull, for 500r do 7

by Andrei:
So why can you, poor worm, know about the mania of greatness at all?! to
by Nikita:
Why do I know anything about her when I rule the world?
When I rule the world
The whole joke.
by Andrei:
It is the world. ? Rule is a distinct substantive, replacing the word "power".

Knowledge of anatomy:
I really wonder: "between whisky, eyebrows, nose and scarf" - where is it?
– – – – –
It is eye.

I work in one of the salons of Bilayna, the whole salon is hanged with booklets, advertisements and other sculptures.Now I observe the picture of a man of 40 years with a sad expression of the face examines the salon and here his buzz stops on the stand with these most advertisements expression changes to joyful-happy. After that, he takes the advertisement, puts a bottle of beer hidden in his pocket in it and leaves the salon.)

Sex horoscope for October: everything is in your hands.

Freemasonry :

When I was 10, I loved my 17-year-old neighbor Serge the most. Now I am 22, and most of all I love my four-month-old son, and Sergey 29, and judging by his page most of all he loves his iPhone and photographing himself with him in the mirror... What has this fucking life done to us...

Mur_myau: After the summer holidays, the teacher distributed leaflets for the children to write down what books they read in the summer. The grandson of our acquaintance wrote: "Necockies".)))
It looks like this :gigi:
Mur_myau: The second class! to
I thought it was a Japanese manga. :D
mur_myau: About the money, oh.:D

I am cold and I don’t want to boil anything, I want to warm up :)

He became a programmer in the company. I try to find out who worked on the site before me. After a short investigation, it was discovered that it was a man with the spoken name Krivorukko.

And then there is a breakdown:
Those who would still be able to adapt to the natural conditions would cause irreparable damage to the wild. Is it better than eating meat?

Obligate all vegetarians to keep a couple of cows and pigs at home, let them take care of them, feed them. Well, if they fight for their rights, then let them do it all to the end... or they can only glorify and agitate in their ranks...
PS Really got it. At work in the office of 10 people 6 vegetables. I’m already bypassing the refrigerator with their containers with green shining in the dark vegetable soups of purple. And why are all vegetarians so fiercely called into their ranks, such a feeling that they are jealous that everyone around them is eating meat, and they are not.

Once I read an interesting opinion - from the lack of those most essential amino acids, proteins, etc. In vegans, the brains, say, turn into dirt, which actually causes a lot of problems, such as agitation in their ranks and others on the topic of health and our younger brothers. The same principle may also apply to so-called raw foods. And with each new case, I personally begin to believe in this theory more and more.

From the apple:
I myself use the usual Nokia - cheap with a fanary. Planned for Andrei. I didn’t even think about Apple, but I love it very much. And the reason is simple - I repair the phones.because only apple drill Ner can change the shelf on the turn button on 5 iPhones for 2500 at its cost of 100 rubles.
Apples are long years of your life. And most importantly - do not run your iPhone and iPad on the carpet only on the plate and concrete, on the display modules is also very good.

When checking the translation of the school assignment of nine-grade students from English to Russian by Golitsynsky:
"...she was an old, concessive lady."