They buried the flash, broke two standards. c) Habrahabr

I read today on the dating site in one of the questionnaires:

You reached a girl not when you slept, but when you only sleep with her.

That is, if your girlfriend is not only sleeping with you – it doesn’t mean that she’s crazy, it just means that you didn’t get her. A bit of logic.

I’m constantly asked why I don’t have a girlfriend.

Today I understood the phrase "to get up with cockroaches". In the morning they call "p...as!

Is there not enough brains to understand that the price of candles is a contribution to the needs of the church?
This is like an excise duty, or a mark, or a plane/train/movie ticket.
The price of paper is zero, you pay for a service.
– – – – –
Payment for services of communication with God >_<

I live in a dormitory, 3 course.
Picture of oil.
My floor at 6 a.m. in the hallway, on the floor, the director's office with the studgorod, the guard and the guard and the people 7 people. From a distant room in which very beautiful girls live, my groupmate comes out, stops and says very loudly "FUUUUH NATRAHALS".
He turned his head to him and he was so sad.
"I’m talking to you"
And went away.

This is the Comrade:

Psh: I'm going to go with C - depending on the order in which I assign the variables, the outcome of the program changes - such as if you ask for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in the store, they sell you and say thank you, and if the lighter and a pack of cigarettes - beaten in the mouth and thrown out on the street.
____________________________
If you first take off your pants and then cut them off, then it will get broken, and if you first cut them off and then take off your pants, it’s not very bad. You do not need to chase here.

In Moscow, a group of attackers with the help of a minibus and cable stole a bankomat from the hall of the pharmacy on Prospekt Mir. There were about 9 million rubles inside.

The Fortress?! to

From the film discussion:
xxx:"Dubble in the ass fucking. If you were to go out"

ууу : this voice from the video salons of the 80s.... the cock is still alive )))

Everyone makes jokes about monsters on the floor of the bed, creates a bunch of comics...
And I slept my whole life on the second floor of a two-storey bed and there was always only an older sister under my bed.
She is not an angel ;)

Post of Russia.
He received a notice of an urgent letter, dismissed from work, stood a two-hour line.
No, I will not give the letter. It is still in processing. Yes, the notification has been sent, but the letter will not be given. Come here tomorrow from 9 to 10, or in the afternoon to the neighboring department. Better on Monday. What is urgent? It’s in process, I said.

A pink tape, will it be wrapped?

I approach the window and see the car blinking in an accident. I descend. On the car no scratches, the brake with feedback alarm does not show. It turned out that the video recorder slipped from the window and fell, and in the fall pressed the emergency button. Calling for help)

My ex-boyfriend changed his name. He thought his name was wrongly programmed. There was a beautiful, unique name Lost, Loshka Lost
YYY: Did you become a ZAS-RANCEV or GOVNADOV?
xxx: became by grandfather - Evlanov. Improved fate

xxx: let so much work, no time to write an application for dismissal

In the corporate chat:
Zaytcev-sv: Who else spam from fucking came?
Butakov-pm: what is spam?
zaytcev-sv: Victoria’s Secret with free shipping for you, Sergey
Fedoseev-ie: And then Yves Roche achieved
Fedoseev-ie: Ivan, feel like an East Princess!

Anything you find can be used against you in a bag-tracker.

Viktor Silakov: In front of us in the department came to work such a typical graduate of the technical school, in the factory worked as a carpenter, looked accordingly. A month two worked cut off hipsterly, bought a jacket with a folded waist, walked some pidorsky and it all suddenly in one day.
Sebastian Pereira: he bought an iPhone

xxx: You can congratulate me, I won the battle with Facebook and he unblocked my page. He decided that I was hacked because I came from another ipad. And he suggested me to guess friends from the photos on which they are marked.
And here he shows me three photos: on one postcard from March 8, on the other postcard with some landscape, and on the third photo of the desert...
And asks "What is your friend marked on these photos?"

The Black Humor:

Eats a lot,
Daisy now has cancer.

Sometimes I come back from work on an electric car and buy cheap magazines with anecdotes. There is a variety of advertising...
I came across one of them: advertising.

1st Caesar's Ring - "Gives the will to win" " on it the engraving veni vidi vici (come, saw, won - who doesn't know)

2nd The Ring of King Solomon - "Gives exceptional wisdom" - well and accordingly on it "Everything passes. This will happen"

and...
Three! The Ring of Almighty!! "Gives unlimited power"!!! to
Unlimited power costs 3,400 rubles.

I’ll keep this cut, at least because there’s also a description (!)

It’s hard to choose a gift for someone who can buy the store where I’m choosing a gift.