The cat has a calendar in March. He even managed to "sign" a stack of documents prepared for a notary. And before, it seemed to me that the requirement of packing every piece of paper in a file was an abomination of bourgeoisie and bullying. As it turns out, this is the precaution of experienced people.
These infectious cats are everywhere.

Calling the taxi service:
Hi to you! The taxi is listening.
Girl, hello to you! Do you have a function of delivering alcohol at home?
There is no such function, we are not robots! The service is...

Namedly we discussed with a friend the law that our great homeland invented (on censorship and marking).
Is it necessary to make age marking on all images?
Oh, such a nonsense...
Is that something that works? I got a 100 ruble note. Look - I show him a chariot in which a guy in a mantle stands, and from underneath it looks like a whistle. Forgot to print the age limit on the banknote, and children under the age of 16 are prohibited from carrying 100 ruble banknotes.)
Imagine the situation - the guy leaves the house, looks to the side - no one. He collapses from the side of the store. I don’t know where the puppets came from. The inspector screams at the railway - "Hunt him! He has an unchanged table!and "
A couple rushing into the store almost crying from the boxer’s threshold:
Change the table! Congratulations to!! to
Nothing...
Q4 is faster.! to
Have a passport? Cigarettes are only 18 years old.
Aaaah!! to
Accepted a guy...
We stood up, laughed, and then thought - this is Russia, everything is possible here.

Day: Yes, I am not about it.
I understand, but talking to girls is a difficult thing. They will either hear it wrong, or they will answer it wrong, or they will understand something else, even their own foolishness.

HK: Recently one Englishman came to us. He told us how we are working wrong, how we are doing things wrong... And at the end he added that it is because we are Russians and we can’t do anything normal.
We talked about him and decided to hit, went for a break. And I always take a good leaf tea with me to work, I immediately make myself and drink. I put to cook, went for sugar, I come back - this shit drinks my tea! I ask :
Do you like?
Very good tea, Ceylon tea.
No to Boston.
He did not talk to me anymore.)

* discussion of the video of Bocariak, where Americans in the show discuss the Chelyabinsk meteorite and the turfless Russians

The Dark Love
Therefore, we will win the wars) Ktolhu will go on the earth, and we will have it.
Anna_Ariana
We have a beer.)
The Dark Love
and the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse will be stopped by the first encountering Russian lady))
Anna_Ariana
And after a second, they are already walking and without pants)))

What do we have for breakfast in the morning?
I am a peanut soup.
Husband: It is great! Just tomorrow the shooting, no one will suspect anything. Although... "Comrade XX, we gave you 5 bullets, where are 10 shots from?"
I: You, the main thing, do not start robbing the gyls.

Bread and spectacle. (July to June)
Mushroom and Mushroom! (Adaptation for Facebook users)

The sensation! A record of the fall of a meteorite without mattresses has been found!
Evil languages say that the operator was deaf and alone.

From the project "Response"

Vadik Belan: I want a tattoo on my hand, but I don’t know what to fill!
What kind of tattoo can I put on my hand? Should I have a tattoo?

Andrik is on. "Thanks to you" This is my cat’s name. Actually he is already dead. But the memory will remain.

How to get rid of things?

Go to your wife. and say:
Do you see this thing?
and yes!
This is the most important thing in the world for me! Never give it to anyone. Do not touch your finger. It is very important in my life and work. If it disappears or breaks, I will be very sad. She should always be in sight, I should always be sure that she is in place!
The next day, the wife will break, give, sell, or throw away this thing. Or hide it so that you will never see it again.
All, there is no problem...

From the chat WOW, 3 o'clock at night:

My wife and I divorced today.
YYY: GZ
ZZZ: is beautiful
ZZZ: Did you give it?

I call and I take the phone:

The Copy Center
And Ivan?
Yes to hello.
- this is Masha from the magazine, there our cards, but neither can I Tanya approach, a woman will come to you without falling in love, her cards please give
- OK, just let it say the password: "Hydroelectric power plant, the gray resin from the clover bends the pink piano!", and the review will be: "Chames only walk in pairs and sometimes 6 foamplasts";;
What!? to
Let her just say that she is behind the cards.

Why not divide by 0 and multiply by 0?
About the same reason why children can’t drive a car, and passengers can ride.

Bones: Mde: the middle son was so and so, the younger was a philphak...

Before passing the coursework, a group headed by a teacher under the tree, smoking.
Here, one of the group notices on the teacher's jacket along the sleeve a thick pigeon's mouth.
Everyone came back and the teacher was in shock. Then one of the courses gets a copy of the course from the jacket and begins to issue a sheet to the teacher in order to erase the traces of the presence of a pigeon from the jacket. And then there was an excited voice from the crowd: "Look! See also! For the first time in my life, I helped someone!"

Quinsi: How tired of this meteorite.

Knell: And I think this meteorite is just a good example of how quickly news fades away.
This will be the case with life on Mars: well, they will find some little thing that will shake under the microscope, and then what? For a couple of days, she will have a scapander and a blaster, so-called "Mars otakue, haha", and in a week everything will swell.

Bringing a girl to a movie-restaurant-theater, flowers, etc. Can this be called ritual services?

I only create when the muse comes. If you sit and specifically push out of yourself, then the result will be appropriate.

Oh, there is also Pulkovskaya Street in Peter!
VU: It’s in Moscow she’s "also", and in Peter is just Pulkovskaya.