bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87187
 19.09.2013
After working yesterday evening, I was waiting for 3 netbooks, one tablet and one system and all of them were brought by friends, and after everything was done, the thought appeared in my head that thank God I am not a UROLOG! After all, in the evening could not look at the screen of the netbook on which the next windscreen was reinstalled!)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87186
 19.09.2013
This morning, smoking on the balcony, I saw how a single-task boy stopped on a half-step to switch the track in his phone.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87185
 19.09.2013
Discuss unknown means of transportation on the road:
XX: Agricultural machinery for cleaning something, between the wheels are allowed agriculture. Types
Vineyard
YYY: Does the wine end up?
ZZZ: Depending on where. In Afghanistan, it is a hermitage. They have everything, either a hermit or a calash.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87184
 19.09.2013
Only here, in the subway, a young mother with a baby’s place is inferior to a guy on the crickets.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87183
 19.09.2013
xxxx(15:02:08 18/09/2013)
Russians have something to do with it. We changed the mailbox at the entrance. I could not get the keys from those boxes. In the end, he went to Ashan and bought a lock for the mail for 50r. I broke the door with a screw and Opa, Eureka - the keys from the box in the BOX!!!! to

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №87182
 19.09.2013
I will answer:

The morning of the office, with the comp in the columns plays a very easy pleasant rock, the colleague begins to cry to turn it on easier. Unfortunately on the comp was not Breakdown of sanity, which he rotated in the player getting to work. Show me how to say "weight" :)

You are just preventing me from working.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87181
 19.09.2013
My sister killed a spider. A spider of 5 cm. The monster is short. He asks my son (8 years old) to remove him because he is afraid. And we sort the garbage: in one package, in another biological waste, and it is easier for the son to explain them as "food". After hearing the request:
“Well, I can throw it out, but I don’t know, it’s like food, but it doesn’t.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №87180
 18.09.2013
Our fathers answered mothers about the warehouses: “I need everything here, don’t touch anything.”
We are in school years: "Everything on the desk I need, do not touch anything."
These thoughts came to my mind because I was looking at 40 open tabs in my browser.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87179
 18.09.2013
Here is this:

xxx: I'm a loader, and I don't want to unload the fur before 11 p.m., I want to read at my Hobbit warehouse!!! to

Guy, pass on to your colleagues, so that they don't wander with the load at 4 in the morning somewhere here, and then you won't be unloaded until 11 in the night somewhere there.
So if you dumped the sugar, that’s me.

And I'm a fur driver, and I don't want to stand under the discharge until 11 o'clock at night, I want a roasted cat.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №87178
 18.09.2013
xxx: Probably all Novosibirsk people know about the livelihoods "Jubileum" (he is also "4th micro-region"), Snegiri" (he is also "5th micro-region") and "Rodniki" (he is also "6th micro-region"). Where is the 1st, 2nd and 3rd microryne?
George Lucas thought that the first three would appear in 10 years.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87177
 18.09.2013
In London, a 23-year-old man received a knife wound and was robbed after buying a disc with the game GTA 5.

Real gangsters will only get their favorite game.
It is very conceptual.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87176
 18.09.2013
Studying in the universe (first course)
The critical days have begun, and here is just FIZ-RA. He went to the hospital to get his release.
I knock, I come in, there is a guy sitting there, measuring the temperature. A little confused I said:
- I have physical culture and eeee... as if it were to be said by a young man.
What he answers:
- Girl, I am under thirty years old, I am married and expect a child, about your PMS I probably know more than you, don't be embarrassed, say as is.
I was upset and the nurse issued a release.
I go out of the medical point and encounter a familiar four-student, Artem. We started a nice conversation with him (I really like him). Here from the point’s mid comes out that "under thirty" and says:
- Artem, that you have with her, she has PMS, she will not give you today!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №87175
 18.09.2013
xxx: My favorite part in the Bible is when God gives people freedom of will, then kills them by flooding because they don’t behave as he wants.
yyy: A good and very logical part. I like her too.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87174
 18.09.2013
Maniana: Discover the secret, how do you, with your dislike for football and hockey, always manage in the team, not to participate in the discussion of games, commands, etc.? Even with you do not speak, and no one tries to convert you to their faith?
Recon105: Well, that’s elementary, Watson! ) I will find out for which team everyone is sick and who is their main competitor, and then in the first conversation on this topic, I say that I am sick for the opposite. All discussions of football with me are excluded, especially if I am the boss! )))

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87173
 18.09.2013
It has been repeatedly observed that if you gently embrace a cat, his mouth perfectly fits into the face relief, in the slope between the whisky, eyebrows, nose and scull. I think it is not coincidental.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №87172
 18.09.2013
Go with a friend in the car. A woman passes by in a jeep.
Friends as usual:
Look at the pump!
Nippon, we are here.
Choi is that?
A number of Moldovan...
c) and

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №87171
 18.09.2013
Uzer: Fedor, set me this door, it’s for your version.
Fedora: Of course
Uzer: Fedor, set me this door, it’s for your old version.
Feodora: Well, I need >9000 libraries, but I will

Uzer: Windows, set me this door, it’s for your version.
Windows: of course
Uzer: Windows, set me this door, it’s for your old version.
Windows : No!

Uzer: Gent, set me this door, it’s for your version.
Ghent: Never ever!


[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87170
 18.09.2013
Take a bottle from me! Better than two.)
2: for what is it?))
A neighbor asked me to buy two bottles. She asked me, she asked my mom and dad, all separately. I also asked my daughter, who had time to bring ahead of us all)) now we have six buttons and half of the borodin! For Bornin's dad usually fights, but today is ready to give him too))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87169
 18.09.2013
Showing a 3-year-old Canadian Sphinx child:
- "Look at what oxygen."
- "That’s a lot!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87168
 18.09.2013
I have orcs in Orthanka.
Orthank should be washed more often.

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