and Taxi.

Today, the girl initially refused to pay, and then threatened me with her boyfriend. I took her to one of our colleges. She is a student. On the way, she painted and weaved in her eye with a rodent stick (as she is called). She cried to me and then called her lover:

- Yura, meet me, here is not suitable for driving.

We come in, Yuri is there. Student, fashionable hairstyle, narrow pants with heels, weighing about 60 kg. With his hands, Jura tries to make himself a little wider, but the posture is more like a man who has worn watermelons with his ankles all his life:

Go on, go on, we will talk.

My passenger goes away, and I look at Yura and pretend not to break him in case he runs on me.

The man said goodbye to his wife and said to me:

Listen, man, what is your name? Yuri says in a very calm tone.

ExCoonMan

Tell me what happened to you?

I tell you. The boy silenced a little, looking at the side, and then said:

How much does the trip cost?

and 240.

Jura counts and draws my hand:

Without insults?

Without any insults.

I hold Yuri’s hand and leave.

A smart boy.

I read stories about bad neighbors. Finally, I’m ready to talk about my own.

I live in an ordinary new building in the bedroom area. And we have a chat at home, not even one, but two - on important issues and a fluid. I was very afraid to join them, expecting to see a complete inadequacy there, but now I boast of this chat before everyone who complains about their neighbors.

A recent story: a postman was fired at our post office and his workplace was not closed, which, in particular, also hit our house. It was discovered by chance in the same chat. And the next morning, a good neighbor went to the post office, took all the tickets for our house and laid them out on the entrances, and there, local activists, laid them out on the boxes.



Regularly in the chat home throw messages such as "red kia 999 - forgot to turn off the dimensions" or "found the keys in the playground". At any time of the day you can write to the chat and get help. So, one late evening in front of the plane, my phone began to behave inappropriately, I decided to take my old one with me, but the SIM card did not fit there. And at midnight my good neighbor borrowed me a switch.

You can always find out the contacts of a neighbor who has broken a pipe or a dog laughing loudly. We are pleased to discuss not only the rising tariffs and parking rules, but also the decoding of the Voynich manuscript.

Dear neighbors, if you suddenly read this, know - I am proud of you and happy to live with you under the same large roof!

My most stupid mistake in working as a nurse is to ask a heroin addict with a five-year experience: “Are you not afraid of injections? “”

P.S. For me, this is the standard phrase in this manipulation, because it was a case of fainting and hysteria.

What is written by a cat cannot be washed away afterwards.

One American went with friends on vacation in Hawaii to dive with aqualange and was taken to the hospital with a giant mole on his penis. The patient had serious breathing problems, vomiting, also heavily swollen face and lowered blood pressure.
The guy, recovering, said: "A friend was filming a diving on the camera, I decided to stick and pulled my penis into the shell, but the molluscum stuck him and did not let go. It was not painful and even pleasant. After a while I felt bad and only with the help of a partner was able to get out to the shore."
The allergy developed a little later, so the body responded to the digestive enzymes of the giant mole, which may have been trying to digest the penis.
Moral: Don’t go anywhere!

The ancient Greeks invented orgies, and the Romans guessed to invite women to them.

Grandmothers always worry about their grandchildren. But sometimes it goes to the absurd.

When I was 11, I had the honor of going to a chess competition in another city. One day, they were taken to play with a girl named Katya. The game ended in my favor, we shrugged each other’s hands and Katya left the room. I quickly set up the chess, noted the result and also went to the exit.

But the chief judge stopped and began a strange dialogue:

Ammwintersky, have you ever threatened Katie?

In the sense?

Katie’s grandmother said you threatened her with a knife under the table.

Am... a shock. Just imagine an 11-year-old girl in a strange city, without her parents, accused of threatening another child. There was no camera at the time, and my under-chess brain began to broadcast, “I’m a child, and that woman is an adult. They will believe me, but I will not.” When I was a child, I thought that adults were always right. Previous PostPrevious A Prostitute. It burned a week later.

It is good that Katya herself came and confirmed that there were no threats. My grandmother was just worried about her granddaughter. For her disqualification, Katy was barely disqualified. And I understood one thing for myself – how terrible a grandmother is when she is not yours.

The Metro. Three teenagers under the age of 16 for nothing to do began to open the door of the car while moving.

One of the most powerful, let’s say. He could not stand in place. The hormones strain his brain as much as they can. He was the inventor. The second is influenced. He helped open the door. The third was just watching. So, when the composition started to brake in the tunnel because of the activist’s joke, none of the passengers present interfered. But when they opened the door for the second time, it was wider and the driver asked to leave the door alone. I exploded. Because the first guy expressed the "funny" idea of sucking in the open door.

I understand (read: I hope and believe) that he was just joking. Then he said, “You fools! Get out of the door!”

None of the passengers paid attention to them.

The active guy pointed out his attitude to my words as a "psychic" woman. The door did not touch anymore. The second guy calmed down, and the first could not restrain himself and just started running on the wagon.

I went to the playground with the kids yesterday. The weather is nice, the mood is good. While my jumps and slides, I looked around the site territory and somehow the mood became smooth. A lot of rubbish. Apparently, someone sat well the day before, because on the site in different corners were: a box of cake, juice packages, five bottles of "Baltic" and other small garbage. I collected it all and threw it into the urn. But as she walked for garbage throughout the site, she heard at her address from the mother who was walking there with the child: "Mental something. He looks at the urn.

I stayed alone on the pitch. Two other mothers left.

I am psychic, I am in order. And they normally walked on the playground among the garbage.

I do not understand that. I don’t understand the people who run on children’s playgrounds. At least they would have cleaned up after them. But not.

And various psychic then clean them, so that they are not in the garbage themselves.

The Cultural Capital. The cultural people.

We had a difficult relationship with money. Sometimes we argue, but soon I start missing them.

Non-working pensioners are required to obtain an explanation on income.
But where does the mayor have a personal plane why the tax is clear and understandable...

The court rejected the petition of the investigation for the arrest of Deputy of the State Duma Belousov, suspected of receiving bribery in the amount of about 3.5 billion rubles. In court, the deputy stated that he did not take that money."
Arishukov: It could be so!? to

I walk through the courtyard. Young children play the popular childhood game 'daughters of the mother' all ages 5-6. The girl who gives the bigger roles - "You will be a dad, you are a mother, and you are a son of a fool."

In the continuation of the topic of childhood without computers, I will write here a story told me by a comrade. Many in the '90s had a parachute toys with a cellophane parachute, but my friend's brother was tired of falling down a soulless plastic soldier with a parachute, and he didn't think of anything smarter than mastering a parachute for a domestic rat. Before launch, the dome was repeatedly tested with a mass-size layout, and showed excellent characteristics, in connection with which it was decided to conduct natural tests.



The idea was the following, my comrade stands down and catches the testwoman so that she doesn’t run away after landing, and his brother drops her off from the balcony on the 8th floor. The plan was simple and brilliant, but something went wrong.



Whether the rat had a sailing capacity greater than the layout, or the side wind was too strong, or maybe the rat learned to control the dome and pulled over the roofs, flying a couple of floors, she sharply changed course, and rolled over the corner of the house. It landed on the shelf of the store, in connection with which it was decided to carry out an evacuation and rescue operation.



As I went up to the second floor, my friend took courage and called the apartment, the windows of which were on the roof of the store. With anxiety and fear, he told the neighbor who opened the door that a rat had fallen from his balcony, and now she is on the cradle. The neighbor asked if the animal was alive and if it was not biting, and having received the answer that it was not biting and went to look for it alive. To her surprise there was no limit, when she returned, she asked: "Is she always jumping from the balcony with your parachute? »



The rat was not injured, and after the jump to the parachute tests was not attracted.

Over the years, you start to succeed. Years of training.

Last week, the world championship of team chess was held in Astana. In the online broadcast, according to local laws, inserts were inserted with comments in Kazakh language.
As a result, by the 9th round, viewers of broadcasts had a new censorship insult - "Ke5", because, as it turned out, in Kazakhstan, "horse e5" sounds like "at-e-bys".

So we went the western route.
Is it how?
It is also forbidden to speak disrespectfully about sex minorities.

There was (and is now alive) a friend in the joint company. I went to a girl (let it be Masha) on a drunk and they had sex. Then there were other sex relationships with him and he picked up a specific disease (I don’t know the exact name). He healed and thought, “From whom?” And by simple calculations I came to the conclusion that from Masha. There is nothing better than obtaining evidence through experience. Thus e. Unprotected and without protection. Again, it is a bad disease. With this news he goes to Masha and they are undergoing a course of treatment. Well, cherries on the cake: they married in a couple of months.

Grandfather once told a story. It was a few years ago. At the time, he was just released from the hospital. I told with a smile. He was sent to the hospital, to the therapy department. He went to bed on Monday to have time for a test in a week. Since there was no room, he was placed in the corridor. The day lies, the second lies, no one approaches him. And on Thursday, a doctor runs through the corridor past him with a stack of history of illness, and brakes sharply. My grandfather asks, “Who are you with us?” He calls the name. The doctor is happy: here you are where we are, or I have lost you!

My grandfather took it with humor. The truth added that it was a pity that a few days spent in the hospital were wasted.

At work, one of her colleagues struck her memories of her sons and how she would like to have a daughter:

The girls are so dumb! Not like my boys. Bandits and hooliganes! Both are so crazy! One with a friend constantly because of all the little things dogged in childhood. They still do not live peacefully. I don’t even know if it will ever end.

I shake my shoulders with a philosophical look:

- Yes, many boys have this nature, just give a reason. My friend and I remember, because of the last gum, we fought.

and ha ha! That’s what I’m talking about,” she smiled to her memories. How old were you then?

I shut my eyes down:

Twenty seven...

Colleague: (ಠ_ಠ)

The gynecologist examines the patient:

Q. What is this horror?

P – What is wrong?

The 21st century in the courtyard... Why not shaved?

My husband did not allow.

Where is the husband?

P in the corridor.

The doctor leads a man out of the corridor.

The doctor turns to the man, pointing to the mouthpiece:

It is horror...!

The man looks and says unclearly:

Yes, the horror...

The grandmother murmured, and then said:

This is not my husband!