A well-known surgeon said: bring a man without a leg above his knee, everything in blood, no legs. His leg was cut off by a wire at the factory, with the chief engineer of the enterprise sitting in front of his eyes, somewhere in the courtyard smoking and phone calls another person five officials. The wounded man calls the chief engineer all the time, looks in his eyes and asks - Where is my foot, Alexander Petrovich! ? to Found the foot! ? to Call me, let them look for me!

In general, at the same time Alexander Petrovich got sick with the heart, drowned. At this time, the wounded is taken to the operating room, from there screaming "That's a shame! ? to “You are the fucker, the fucker...”

The man without a leg was a fire inspector. When the wire broke off at the production, it really rubbed the inspector's leg, but he was already with an amputated leg and on a prosthesis, the prosthesis broke off the leg so sharply that the cult was also damaged, and among blood and meat the doctors did not immediately understand that the leg was not there before the accident.

True, the inspector was not a joke, but caught a specific shock recurrence and for a week was sure that before the incident he had a leg. Only a bunch of documents, relatives and people at work gradually convinced him that he lost his leg 8 years ago.

xxx: How would you write in your resume "I changed the light bulb"?

yyy: Solely managed the successful upgrade and deployment of the new environmental lighting system with zero surplus costs and zero safety incidents.

By analogy with “the Orthodoxy of the Brain,” I propose the term “the edros of conscience.”

This is the story, it happened 15 years ago.

In my "cube" (a nanorajonchik of eight two-storey houses) the 0.4kV power cable began to burn. The cable, of course, is in the ground and just so it will not be repaired (it is necessary to find the place of damage, to dig the ground, possibly under the road, to open the asphalt, well, etc.). In short, who does not do, need the services of specialists.
At first, one phase burned out and all quickly switched their apartments to the remaining two, increasing the currents in the wires. We people are smart. The voltage in the apartments was up to 180-200 volts.

At that moment, I went to talk to the men from my house.
He explained what happened and what will happen soon. was understood. With their support, they started a campaign to clarify the problem among residents. The main issue was the collection of money. And the money, by the way, small, in terms of the apartment - but the total amount was not small.

Here the shake began.
The question drowned in her. In the words of all as if for, but to collect money, at least in their own house, the desired practically not found.

Time has rushed...

The increased currents of the two living (yet still) cables continued to heat the weakened insulation – the case was in autumn, when heating was not yet turned on and everything was heated by electricity – and it was successfully burned. In the transformator substation, two of the three security devices on 400A were hit.
The remaining living phase began to heat the earth from which the planet is made up. It was the main power. There was also something in the house, 50–60 volts.

*** by
Here the people moved, awakening some hope in me. In vain though.
The natural gatherings began, like the screams of a drunk man, who suddenly felt that his boots burned from the fire near which he slept.
But at least something...

I tried to explain to the people that the faster we collect money, the faster we become people again. The 50 percent understood everything for a long time and were warmly agreed.
Here are the other 50...

Yes, guys, I didn’t know much about human nature.

These people needed light and warmth in their nurses. They had already grievous mouths, they had already swallowed, and the horror was already sparking in their eyes. They already realized that something terrible had happened. And they were convinced that someone had to do everything.
and all. The point.

The question of making money for repairs raised the question – and why should we pay? It should be noted, at the time (we) was exactly this position of the energy supply organization (that then everything changed).

You probably have a reasonable question, what hell am I writing here? Why clone?
Don’t rush, it makes sense to read until the end.

*** by
Another day passed. The evening came. It darkened.
And here I made a fatal mistake.

For the simplicity of the mind, I connected the daylight over my LATR desk using reverse transformation. From 50 volts to make 220 is not difficult, actually.

Within an hour, a small crowd gathered at my entrance. I did not pay attention to the vague noise outside the window – well, the natural rallies have become usual. Oh how stupid I was.
After 15 minutes, they knocked on my door. The next is worthy of the pen of Comrade Kafka, but I will have to write, do not look for it.

A delegation of two female organisms, politely but with purple spots on their faces, asked why I had a light burning in the window while no one had it. We talked through a semi-open door.
I, less doubtingly, explained that I connected the lamp from the transformator. Oh, I am a fool!

My explanation was perceived as if I was telling them about Koshi’s theorem. Here the aunt and there was an explosion of a steam boiler, figuratively expressed. They started talking at the same time, and I couldn’t tell a word.
At the screams in the entrance began to pull up the forces of moral support. First I wanted to go out on the pitch to protect my old mother from these screams and whispers. But I did not decide.
You’t have decided in my place.

Eventually, a few minutes of time and a half-split of anger allowed us to distinguish individual words in the flow of the roaring hell. I think that at that moment my eyes came out of the orbit, unfortunately I could not see myself from the side. It turns out, according to their iron concrete opinion – they decided it on a shelf under my windows – I turned off all the houses and took the electricity for myself. Because I am an electrician.
Again, because I am an electrician!

The fucking!

A few more minutes passed, in which I died, rose again, blackened from universal sorrow and turned into a serpent. It has already happened. My beast rick with the accompanying selective maternal message extinguished the outbreak of two unfortunate grandmothers, these foolish creatures of God.

*** by
You will ask why I told this story. I will answer you why.

People, in their masses, do not change. Everything I told you happened 15 years ago. Much has changed since then. Now, for example, the repair of intra-quarter power grids does not have to be done by the forces of tenants (although I am not 100% sure).
A lot has changed, and even for the better.

But people do not change.

Times are changing, but people are not.

bybrigadir

You have an erection!
Don’t touch it, it’s for the New Year!

20 years ago, when there was a popular song "Guests from the future" (in it still a line was "Train Zurich to Geneva, where are you Evaya? I studied in 9th grade. And then I and my friend decided to bet which country Zurich is in? I say – Switzerland, my friend, you’re a fool, it’s Germany. I did not want to be stupid categorically, especially I was sure of all 100 in my right, so we began to ask everyone in a row, "In which country Zurich? »

We met mostly the same nine-class girls, who either did not know, or confidently declared "Germany", which instilled confidence in my friend and she began to hiccake. And here we meet a teacher, in my opinion, even history! To my question, “Tell us which country Zurich is in? This ugly lady said, “You are not ashamed to be so illiterate! Where the youth goes! Zurich is in Germany. And a lot of insult.

In short, we reached the office of geography and already there on the map we found Switzerland and Germany, and even France, and I still defended my right. But it is still offensive when I recall how a bad teacher was ashamed of me, and she was also wrong.

In the nineties it was. I was in the electric car, and a very nice girl was sitting next to me. And the road was far away and I was slightly smiling and I didn’t notice how I leaned to that girl. It was softer on her hand to rest than on the rigid frame of the train window. She seemed not to be against. She did not wake me, did not scream, even as it seemed more convenient to me, which would make it more comfortable for me to sleep.When I woke up, I was slightly upset from such a situation and even apologized for the inconvenience brought. She smiled and said nothing wrong. Yes, I was much more popular with beautiful women when I was seven years old than I am now.

There is a lot of airport nearby and a lot of pilots and stewardesses rent housing. I stand at the bus stop. A pilot with suitcases. This happens often.



Suddenly, looking at him, he leaned to the side, made a tense face and turned the suitcase pen on himself and to the left. I took off the headphones, looked up into the sky, and there the aircraft was quite strong before landing.



I'm also in a rough situation in the car on the brakes. Even if I sit in the back seat.

Definition of Dictionary



Jiu Jitsu (of course)

1st The art of folding clothes carefully when these clothes are still worn on people.

2nd Forced practice of yoga

Covering up democratic values, he dragged material into the house.

Hermann Gref, in many ways defining economic policy in Russia, recalls:
“Here’s this class break, my last name once started with the letter ‘G’. And this is “Today will answer,” and the hand of the teacher begins... And my heart shrinks. Then I count, using all my mathematical abilities, to calculate the speed with which my finger moves and in which part of my surname is located on the letter "g". Then I realize that he has swallowed it, I exhale, and then the finger returns.” “I’ll honestly tell you one of the most important things I’ve learned from school – I hate the assessment process, I hate exams. It’s a catastrophe... One of my personal goals is to kill exams,” he said, expressing hope that it “will take decades.”

Without realizing it, Greff formulated the main problem of the elite of the country: cowardly, dumb, poorly educated, without systemic and structural consciousness - for some reason and manage the economy of the country, and those normal, fast and efficiently thinking children and students, whose eggs from fear were not stuck in the ass from calling to the board or passing exams, because they easily understood those quite small at the level of courses - drag existence on the back of the economy. The exam is the basis of competitiveness - the strongest must win. The Greens must bring them papers. Competitiveness is the foundation of the economy. The economic leader who has decided to silence competition and competition in forming the elite of the country is the fool who is destroying the country. He is not a fool, but an enemy.

Did you know that there are no Canary Islands? The same goes for the new monastery. There are no canaries either.

Last night, I put my daughter to sleep.

In secret, I don’t know from whom. She said she didn’t like Sereza anymore, and now Kolya is her new boyfriend.

I ask why? What did Serena not do?

Answer: "Sereja is beautiful, but Cole is so clever, he knows everything. And Seresh what you do not ask, he answers, “I don’t know.”

I ask, "Daughter, who do you like more: smart, beautiful or another?"

I thought.

“You know, daddy, I don’t need a beautiful one, or we’ll always argue about who of us is the most beautiful. He’s smart, but then he’ll win me all the games and we’ll fight again. The important thing is that the memory is good. To remember when I have my birthday, so that I can’t forget the New Year. And to wake up early to walk with the dog.



daughter 6 years.

A middle-aged American was sitting in her bedroom at night and resting peacefully. Suddenly a noise came from the corridor. Not thinking for a long time, she got her gun out of the covered box, and just out of the dark corridor with a scream of "Bowow!" A poorly distinguished creature jumped out and shot him. And then it turned out that this creature was the 18-year-old daughter of a woman who returned from college, who wanted to scare her mother with such a screamer. I called an ambulance and the girl was recovering.

It was exactly a year ago. and autumn. Behind the window it was raining, I was comfortably drinking a cup of tea watching Mr. Robot suddenly cut off the internet. The second number, which means that for the new month no one remembered to pay, although the provider gives 1.5 days of the next month to pay. Lenely gathering I went to the ATM, the nearest was a kilometer away, but what to do, not without the internet to sit and the rain passed. I go and see a girl of my age, sad, with a cap. Well, I saw and went on, paid, came home, and she doesn't come out of my head, too much of something caught me in her.

The next day, after the universe, along the same road, I saw her again. On her ranch hanged a notebook operating machine. It was a surprise for me, I myself it-shnik with weirdnesses and adore such tricks, but decide to approach even after this I cracked and went on.

I am a person by nature too introverted to approach and talk, and if I approached, I would shake the burda and burst everything.

A plan was needed, notes came to mind, searches for people who knew her, at least something. But one thing I found out by asking friends, I knew her supposed name, home and entrance where she was seen.

In the end, I decided to do something about computers.

In one episode of Mr. Robot, Darlene scattered flashes with a virus to penetrate the company’s network. I didn’t want to break anything, and I lacked knowledge.

The decision was made: to create a site that was located on a second computer, where a group of computer enthusiasts were allegedly looking for similar, capable people, and the link to enter there led to my telegram account.

The site was horribly simple. I am not strong at all on the web, and then even more.

It was late Sunday evening, I finished making the site, now I had to think about how to get her there. Well, I didn’t come up with anything but the qr code, but here’s the trouble, so to say, the printing stores on Sunday closed earlier or didn’t work at all. It would seem that everything was ready, a lot of time and nerves were spent. Nothing more stubborn than drawing a QR code, I didn’t come up with.

Surprisingly, he was recognized quickly.

That same evening, I glued him on the front door of her house and went home to sleep.

The next day, I first naturally checked the telegram and server logs, but it was too early to do so. On the road, on the road and in the universe, I was nervously waiting for an answer, updating the server logs, it seemed that everything was in vain.

The couple ended, 2 o’clock in the day, I went home thinking that I would go through her house now and check the leaflet, suddenly it was broken.

I am in the subway, suddenly we begin to travel through an open terrain and I hear the sound of a notification. “Hello” on Lockscreen. Convulsively, while there was still a signal I started looking at her account, there was no limit to joy. I walked very quickly from station to house, expecting what our dialogue would be like, because writing on the road is like writing to myself.

As a result, we found a bunch of common topics for conversations, reasoning, there was not even an insult that the "team of enthusiasts" never existed.

In the evening we met with her in the courtyard, walked, talked until late, and the next day we went together to the universe. It turned out that she was 3 stops further and she came out earlier than I was, so I never saw her on the road, and back she was driving on a different route with a friend. Now every day, morning, a little day and evening we spent together. Soon, this friendship grew and today is the first anniversary of our relationship. I’m crazy, I’m lucky and I want to wish you the same.

All of Love!

Once in the road, we jumped on the "lightening policeman" and the girl with a bright mask, just beginning to get up, grabbed her face into the width of the guy who stood on the side of her. A delicious footprint on light jeans. Five seconds of silence. Then the guy’s girlfriend who was there said, “Interestingly, how would you explain it to me if I wasn’t here now?”

When I was a child, my responsibilities included daily garbage disposal. The parental package was taken out of the cage, tied and placed at the entrance door in the hallway so that I did not forget / knock) So I gathered up to school, took the bag at the door and threw it out on the way into the container. I come home and my mom asks why I didn’t take the garbage. I say I threw it out, and she says, “Here’s it.” More than 10 years have passed, and Dad still tries to remember where he put his boots.

I was arranged in my 20s in one race as a driver on the new "Gazel", the beginning of zero. and ZAM. The director, a man aged 65-70, once asked to take the mushrooms, at the same time "to make friends", to talk. We headed to the airport, to the areas of local cooperatives. I quickly picked up a large bag, and he was barely half a small transparent bag, saying, “You picked up nothing, well, let me see.” I opened the package, he looked at it, and said, “Well, you’re a hammer, and I don’t have much... In general, I came home, I turned out to have collected more than half of the poisonous (I wasn’t in them very much, I could only distinguish between mosquitoes and puddles, which were on puddle boards). Not now. My mom picked up the mushrooms and cooked them all night. So, it turns out, he saw the case and said nothing.

The next day he asks, “How are you?”"I say norm, yesterday cooked, today morning roasted and eaten. He then looked at me all day, whether I was fucking or not..This is how he turned out, and I didn't say anything to him - I didn't want to "fight" with the boss on the new job.  And he began to treat me with some, I don’t know, at the same time respect, mixed with suspicion. I always looked at Iris.

The more cabinets in the house, the more unnecessary things.

The mayor of Quebec refuses to remove pork from the menu of school dining rooms and explains why:

“Muslims must understand that they must integrate and learn to live in Quebec. They must understand that it is they who have to change their way of life, not the Canadians who so generously welcomed them.

Muslims should understand that Canadians are neither racists nor xenophobes. Canada hosted many immigrants before Muslims appeared here. Like other peoples, Canadians are not ready to give up their identity or culture.

And if Canada has accepted someone into its land, it is not the mayor who welcomes foreigners, but the Canadian people as a whole. Finally, they should understand that in Canada (Quebec), with its Christian roots, New Year’s trees, churches and religious festivals, religion should remain a personal matter for everyone.

For Muslims who disagree and feel uncomfortable in Canada, there are 57 beautiful Muslim countries in the world, most of which are sparsely populated and ready to welcome them with open arms.

If you left your country for Canada, not for other Muslim countries, it’s because you thought life in Canada was better than in others.

We will not allow you to bring Canada to the level of these 57 countries.

If you came to Canada with the idea that you are going to push us out with your fertile spread and eventually capture our country, you should gather and return to your country where you came from.

If you agree to accept these provisions, then stay. If not, be prepared to leave.”