bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84167
 15.07.2013
With Google:
Question: "What to do if the root is not extracted from the discriminant?"
Answer: "I am usually sad"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №84166
 15.07.2013
Sasha Gray has a profile in VC.
XXX: Now it can be marked on all videos. :D

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84165
 15.07.2013
“Virtual Lolita” is hunting for pedophiles on the Internet.
Spanish law enforcement agencies are going to use artificial intelligence to find pedophiles.

Waiting for the appearance of a pedophile bot

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84164
 15.07.2013
NATO asks Ukraine to get rid of 2,000 tanks The destruction of tanks is funded by the donor countries within the Treasury Fund of NATO’s Partnership for Peace Programme. Acute modern strategy, soon will be asked to transfer the territory free of charge, that is, free of charge.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №84163
 15.07.2013
Burning a fire for shells, or flooding a bath, the main thing is not to be fascinated by reading newspapers 10 years ago!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84162
 15.07.2013
C to D3:
Mutex: Blet, and why can't you make the connection connector square, the other round, and the third triangular?
Like in all computers.
And then the design of the God-Constructor will be fulfilled.
Gorky: Then the techniques would be divided into very smart and very strong.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №84161
 15.07.2013
In our entrance lives a family from Iran (which was formerly called Persia). They have a charming little boy who loves to hike on the trunks. And here I ride Persia almost every night.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84160
 15.07.2013
From the portal "Vesti.ru": "In the forest in new Moscow found a headless body. Experts are not yet able to establish the gender and identity of the deceased". I did not think that in Russia experts set the floor on the head, apparently, if the head is not found, then they will never figure out.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №84159
 15.07.2013
I live in a new candlestick house of 200 apartments, and all in one entrance. All the neighbors are doing repairs, and in order not to go crazy and not feel a victim, I allowed without limitation of time and sound to rehearse in the apartment rock band of my son.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84158
 15.07.2013
He taught his younger brother to play chess. I found nothing to answer his question:
Why are kings so unicellular?? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84157
 15.07.2013
The culprit of the accident at Podolski did not give testimony
See also(930)

What if I tortured?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84156
 15.07.2013
Go to the Maldives and relax, cheaper by hand.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №84155
 15.07.2013
It was in the 70s. Athletes-parachutists to replace the UT-2-R arrived the UT-15 system. This dome has two small lifting parachutes, which when opened the plasma can press to the back, so it is strict in opening, you need to open with a slope to the head and a little to the side.
Athletes decided to test a new parachute on "Ivan Ivanach", so parachutists call a sand-filled mannequin. Wear a parachute on the "Vanku", installed an automatic device of about 600 meters and loaded it into the plane.
At this point, the UAZ of the checking from the "big" headquarters, headed to the jumping field, appeared in the distance. One of the athletes decided to rest and sunbath and so as not to get in the eyes of the superiors, took a fitting canvas, placed it in two hundred meters from the start in the high grass and relaxed.
The plane reached 2000 meters. The checking Lieutenant Colonel, in order to show that he is supposed to be dealing with the parachute affair (and he judged a couple of times to jump, saw how the athletes jump, on this his knowledge and ended) began to look at the aircraft in the TZK (aircraft command pipe, but because of the weight and the way of transporting it in a joke still called a heavy green box). In 2000, Ivan Ivanovich was dropped out of the plane. How can a mannequin fall? Naturally disorderly. But the inspector, looking into the pipe, began to comment on the performance of a complex of figures by the mannequin:
Left, right, salto and left
The athletes laughed at the "specialist", but remained silent. At that moment, the machine worked, waiting for the suitcase. Due to the disorderly fall, the parachutes stuck behind the mannequin and the parachute refused. Someone at the start calmly commented:
– Oh! The parachute did not open again.
The inspector was waiting tightly for the parachutist to open the reserve. But "Ivan Ivanovich" clearly did not guess that the reserve (which he did not have) should be opened, and continued, disorderly crawling, approaching the planet. The inspector rushed to his UAZIK with cries to the soldier-driver:
Go where he falls!
The soldier was on the jumping for the first time, and then some "Vank" dies in his eyes. In general, the fighter fighter fell into a stupor. The inspector rushed to the supposed place of fall. At this moment, the sand-filled 60-kilogram "Ivan Ivanovich" fell a couple of meters from the burning athlete. The man jumped straight toward the rushing Lieutenant Colonel, saying:
What did you scream there? You can kill too!
Those who were at the start tell that this Lieutenant Colonel did not build an expert from himself anymore. For a long time I could not get rid of the sting.

[ + 79 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84154
 15.07.2013
If you are over thirty and you have achieved absolutely nothing in this life, then you are an honest and decent person.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №84153
 15.07.2013
Happy Bastille Day! On this day in 1789, an unrestricted horde of ordinary French schoolchildren, brought to an extreme level of rage by the government’s threats to shut down YouTube and Facebook, flooded the streets of Paris. When the horde of warriors at school arrived at the majestic fortress, they could not be stopped. Children, in their attempts to imagine a world without Facebook, came to a fury that the Berzers never dreamed of. They scattered a healthy fortress-prison, after which they left a plaque on that place "From now on, they dance here" and scattered the wai-fai 800 meters around. And some entrepreneurial people at this time overthrew the government, and the first thing, getting to the wheel of power, announced summer holidays. A horde of blood-drunk young adults for a long time brought horror on all of France, robbing, killing, and making on the background of pogroms pictures with the signature "Why? To the glory of Satan, of course!" and spread through the schools only by October. Since then, it is on this day that French schoolchildren end their school year.

[ + 20 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84152
 15.07.2013
Walked with friends all night. In the morning, the guy, who from drunk, sorry, blew from the balcony in the middle of the night, worried about the fact that we were drinking tea, which is in the boiler for a couple of days. According to him, from him "the liver will break".

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84151
 15.07.2013
K K K
Commentary on the film:
1 as a film? Worth to watch?
2nd day! I’d rather watch those 85 minutes of dog shit than this movie.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84150
 15.07.2013
to this
Prehistory: The best friend (D) was diagnosed with "paranoid schizophrenia", sits on neuroleptics, studies at the fifth course of medical universe.
D: I am in an easy state.
I : what?
Fucking read today.
Schizophrenics live 15 years less than ordinary people
Doctors live 20 years less than patients
D: I’m not really lucky =))))

Doctor of Schizophrenia. It is wonderful.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №84149
 15.07.2013
she: Imagine yesterday on the day of the city was walking, I drank a little bit I go like this... I had to cross the road, I started to cross the road and my phone fell and flew around the asphalt... I let go to collect...
He: You need to be more precise, what, and suddenly the car?
Not a car, but a motorcycle.
What is a motorcycle?
she: almost broke down, bad even if the DPS car was nearby...Such dwarfs need to be caught and picked up by their motorcycles, or they themselves break down and people are shot down.I would kill the shit, I was so scared...
He: Okay, well... what are the mentions behind him?
She: Yes, two cars, you imagine, I was so pleased that for me)))
What time was it? what time was it? what time was it? what time was it?
She: Well, somewhere so...
He: And the motorcycle was blue, beautiful all? and it was on Leningrad Street, right?
She: Yes, you were not far away, have you seen it too? why didn’t you call?
Q: Do you talk about two cars?
What are you talking about, two cars?
He: Alaska, you are a curvy-legged man, you will buy me curtains and paint the curtains...If you don’t know where you can cross the road and where you don’t, ask your parents!
She: Smoke, what are you doing?
Has the phone not broken?
She: Well no, somewhere...
Go on to the fucking...
He: As if...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84148
 15.07.2013
xxx: But you know how beautiful the closet where the books are arranged in size! My ex-husband had that. When I once arranged everything by genres, there was such an awkward appearance that I had to divorce.

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