bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №82807
 13.06.2013
I recently got a new job, a factory, a technician. Fragment from local chat:
Boltya with a girlfriend in aske: "I: And there is also a friend named Dima. Imagine a wide-armed square with a height of 1.9m, such an aristocratic appearance. Brunette, with gray blue eyes. Dressed well, shirts stylish, trousers... At the same time smokes exclusively whiteworm, in the shop regularly scratches mat on workers (in the case, usually), listening to “Leningrad,” “tattoo,” “slipknot,” and other incompatible groups. And, he is the only one who in a full voice and again matts with the head of the sector on labour matters. You still considered yourself a complex, contradictory personality. Do you know me?"
yyy: Ahaha, haaa, Diman is such)
ZZZ is LOL. He will come and start screaming.
DDD: Let’s go now.
DDD: Lena, go through the forest with your girlfriend. I’m not married for five minutes, so give it to her.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82806
 13.06.2013
“But my mom just shocked me,” she said, “Rome, can you go out with Tom to Dima Bilan?” I will give you 500r"
yyy: I hope she meant going to war with him, and 500r. by Equipment

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №82805
 13.06.2013
Bus express, driver (B) and gas-byter (G)
Lenin Street is very long.

Stop on Lenin Street
A: What do you need there?
G (with a wide smile): I need to go out there

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82804
 12.06.2013
yopto.. entered in the search engine "mini tabulator" (I think I'll smash the baby).. almost all photos - "Oka".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82803
 12.06.2013
From the bicycle forum:
Buying a 50+ star
I can offer Allu Pugachev, a star and 50+

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82802
 12.06.2013
The perfect news:

In Moscow during the meeting, Orthodox activists and representatives of the gay movement were annihilated.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82801
 12.06.2013
What gift to give a girl at the last date? I want her to know that there will be nothing else between us.

A bouquet of cherry blossoms, man. There will definitely be nothing more. :D

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82800
 12.06.2013
The Supreme Council adopted the law "on the insulting of the feelings of believers". Now it remains to legally fix the concept of “faith” and which God is the most important.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №82799
 12.06.2013
"I don’t talk to the pirates!!!"
A girl in hysteria.

Unnecessary proof that military service is usual. No tact and understanding of the intimate mood.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82798
 12.06.2013
Here is this:
Explain to the implacable...
It is hard to believe, but the world-famous Edward Ruki-Noznica and Willy Wonka today turned 50 years old.
Be forever young with your soul, Johnny Depp!!!! to
____________________________
I probably have something wrong with arithmetics... Willy Wonka, 1971, Edward Ruki-Nožnice, 1990...

Just like Zadornov: she tries to think, and nothing!
Johnny Depp was knocked, you were arithmetic.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82797
 12.06.2013
xxx: a friend at the ACS dogs lived... One fool bit the wheel nine. on the move. So the clock in the rubber is stuck. So he moved along with the wheel. Until the tooth broke. I’ve been lying about cars for a long time. but issued

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82796
 12.06.2013
Exo: What type of complaint book do you have?

The Wall of Crying...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82795
 12.06.2013
Son of 9 years. He tells us that in the school camp there are twins Vlad and Ruslan... I ask: "Vanjuš, and they are quite the same, how do you distinguish them?!". He says the brothers are not the same because they have different colours of suitcases!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82794
 12.06.2013
TMMaRMaZTM: At acceleration, the best grip at the rear drive, because the weight of the car at this point is transferred backwards, thereby pressing the rear wheels and unloading the front wheels.
freaky_biceps to TMMaRMaZTM: C why is this "weight transferred back"? GGGG...
Dneppp37 to freaky_biceps: First, the front wheels leave, they are swiftly caught by the engine, then the body begins to stretch flat, the rear wheels are still on the asphalt...
freaky_biceps to DNepp37: The car starts horizontally. From what point does the vertical load on the rear axle "increase" and on the next "decrease"?
freaky_biceps to DNEPp37: Do they have magical guiries from hyperspace? )))
DNeppp37 to freaky_biceps: No, just with a sharp start and wheezing of the wheels, the front amortizers pull out the neck - see what henna, and the rear with the yopanavrot shout sit down and close the ears with their hands.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №82793
 12.06.2013
News of the day: "Pid**s approved fines for gay propaganda"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82792
 12.06.2013
xxx: Something seems to me that this year I will completely move to iOS.
yyy: I agree with you. Finally done like Android, now you can buy an iPhone.
zzz: The widgets are missing :(
Apple will invent them next time.
(The Habra)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82791
 12.06.2013
I looked at the statistics of pages visits in Wikipedia. It turns out "anal sex" twice as popular as Chelyabinsk

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82790
 12.06.2013
I went to the cinema at After Earth. In the film on the plot on Earth have occurred geological changes and at night most areas of the earth freeze, except for certain points.

Of course, the main character one day does not have time to run and falls unconscious on the frost. He begins to hide something. Music overwhelms the situation, according to the canons of the genre, the camera does not show the savior, a quiet, trembling whisper goes through the hall - "Who could it be? Who do you think it is?"

And here in the middle of the hall - "Russian". Fantasy has become a comedy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №82789
 12.06.2013
X: I heard iOS 7, so what about you?
WOW: I didn’t expect Google to shake the layout 2 years in advance.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №82788
 12.06.2013
- Oh these Asians, the main thing is that these girls were not boys in the past =))))
Well, what are these conditions for? The important thing is that they are not there at the moment! =) is

#Haber

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