bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №82827
 13.06.2013
The development of combat robots in India.

The comments:
Recognition systems are affected.
What they suffer there. If he does not sing or dance, he is an enemy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82826
 13.06.2013
I walk past my wife’s computer and notice an open folder with all the notes.
Among other things, the content pleased:
- "Lene chocolate cake with cookies.txt"
- "Chocolate and Banana Cake.txt"
- "How to remove fat from the bottom of life.txt"

Now I’m walking and she looks like DiCaprio :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №82825
 13.06.2013
He is 20, he is 22.
He doesn’t work, she doesn’t know how to cook or wash.
Teachers-wives are almost praying - they are waiting for "children"
"Newlyweds" also rub into the dota until 3-4 nights
And this is not the beginning of a dumb novel, not a boring filmmaker, it is real life.

You are surprised when in some city a young mother strangled her child with a pillow so that he would not hinder her from doing her business with her crying.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82824
 13.06.2013
In Russia, only children of wealthy parents can study at the university for free.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №82823
 13.06.2013
It was in one African country.
Late in the evening, we sat with a friend in the hall of the hotel and pulled a beer.
We felt good enough and there was nothing to do.

Gina, you don’t know a single word in English! Let me teach you a little. A thought came to my mind.
Yes, let it go.
and well. Today we teach... number 5: Five. by Fa-yv Faithy Yv. and repeat.
and Five!
is excellent. Enough for today, I think we’ve already overtaken. Time to go to sleep.

I don’t know why the files. We separated by numbers and the next morning I forgot about that conversation.

The next day was a visit to the souvenir shop.
Who doesn’t know, guides always drive tourists to certain shops. Prices are always horse prices.
There were few people from Russia. We went into the store. To each of us ran a personal "sales manager" and began to accompany.
As soon as Gene took a statuette from the shelf, the seller began to praise the goods.

This is a very valuable thing. The manual work. The black tree. The master makes one statue for several days. First, he looks for a suitable tree, then cuts it with a knife, covers it with... 80 dollars. It’s $80 and it’s yours. The seller started.

Since the story was in English, Gene did not appear interested and did not rage at it.

Well, not about 80. Let me give you a discount for $70. The seller did not.

Gene continued to roll silently in the statuette’s hands.

The last price is $50. Understand me, below I just can't go down... - tried to appeal the seller.

and Five! Suddenly, Gene interrupted him.

Okay Five! The seller agreed and invited Gene to the box office.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №82822
 13.06.2013
What a foolish thing to seriously think that Russian strategic missiles are targeting American banks, where there are 550 billion. The Russian elite.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82821
 13.06.2013
Aglan: New law banning propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations
Aglan: "Non-traditional sexual relationships are those relationships in which there is no reproduction of offspring"
Aglan: Quote from the Law
Aglan: Safe sex can no longer be promoted
Aglan: rubbish out of law!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №82820
 13.06.2013
Odessa militia is looking for imperial strike fighters who burned a smoking mixture store.

Are they finally fucking there?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82819
 13.06.2013
From the plan discussion:
The only thing I don’t like is that he’s modem, and I want a simchathy.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82818
 13.06.2013
Are you no longer with your girlfriend?
My girlfriend is watching horror :)
What’s in the mirror? 😉

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82817
 13.06.2013
My aunt told me:
A woman worked for them. very large sizes. And one day she boasts, says: 'I wrote out, a miracle is a thing to lose weight. You smell the cream and make yourself massage with this joke'.
Then came the day she received a package.
All on joy, calls all colleagues and unpacking the device. There, to the surprise of the woman, was a note, with a remarkable content: ' TO lose weight, you need to eat less and move more!' The colleagues barely contained the urges of laughter. It is a miracle - the device paid 2 thousand x)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82816
 13.06.2013
1st The Duma adopted the law "On Insulting the Feelings of Believers".

2nd In Japan, there is a “Fertility Day” on which children walk and lick karamel members.

And what if the Sintoists celebrate "Fertility Day" in Moscow?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №82815
 13.06.2013
The subject of housing.
How to shake if several people are in the same room? You can’t even watch porn.
YYYY: Drawing on the cohabitants, lol. I am sure he will leave himself, feeling discomfort.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №82814
 13.06.2013
I realized the degree of Internet addiction when I turned off the computer to not sit on the network... and started sitting off the phone.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82813
 13.06.2013
Did you notice that it was cold in the room?
A little bit, and what?
I cleaned the cooler on the note.

Desade

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №82812
 13.06.2013
And it seems to me that a person who is satisfied with his body (poor, fat or otherwise, according to the options), simply does not climb to the other people with an expression of outrage. He is so happy, there is no time for stupid shit and people with any other figure are not annoyed.
"And if someone doesn’t like it, let it go to the other side of the street."
The girl in purple ;)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82811
 13.06.2013
by Nami-Sampai
My husband plays the devil. The voice of the game "Hear the true voice of the ruler of the underworld!!and "
And this is "Mryau!"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82810
 13.06.2013
Q: Why are you so upset today? Up to tears
A: Yeah fuck, he’s a great man.
A: We saw him on the street yesterday, I see — he’s going sad. He and his girlfriend recently separated. I tell you, don’t worry, you’ll find it. He’s like that, you know, I’m not upset that we split up. But the day before the breakup, I gave her all the stockpile of poppy film!
A: I couldn’t not understand him.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82809
 13.06.2013
YYY: Last autumn, while in the woods, I met a man with very long hair and a backpack creature rushed toward me from the wall of trees and solemnly handed over a railroad. and silence. It also quickly disappeared. So think now...

What to think here? It’s a compliment: he liked you so much that he wanted to express it. But to meet, and just to break his loneliness, he did not want to. Not every compliment has to grow into acquaintance. I myself sometimes do the same.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82808
 13.06.2013
I: Is there anything for dinner?
Today you will have spiritual food.

I took the chicken out of the oven 😉

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna