bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80567
 21.04.2013
The recursion...
I now ruthlessly mock my daughter for the mess in the kitchen and in the bathroom, and in my head unwittingly emerges, as our mother with me in the same expressions mocked my older sister for the same thing.
By the way, the older house is always clean and orderly, maybe my offspring will also work this code?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80566
 21.04.2013
One of my acquaintances, working as an electrician, did not rely on one only.
visible gap and poster "Do not include, people are working!", and always disconnecting
Ruby, placed on his weekend clamps. Make sure that all three
The phases are closed...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80565
 21.04.2013
The car is parked, I will call again.
O_O

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80564
 21.04.2013
Commentary on the group dedicated to parachute jumping

xxxh: I liked it still want, and my wife wept after a fracture of two ankles

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80563
 21.04.2013
<METEORITO> one of my acquaintances, when a laptop bought and calibrated access to the system, showed her naked chest instead of her face. So since then, the laptop recognizes it not in the face, but strictly in the nipples with good lighting, and this setting can not be changed, because it is deep in the bios.
<METEORITO> about bios - this is what I told a friend.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80562
 21.04.2013
The only girl whom I forgive is my cat.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80561
 21.04.2013
At the first course, during the practice in the library, they dealt with the maculature and stumbled upon a brochure without a cover and beginning, actually, a list of names and including. There was the name Pedorast - advanced achievements delight Stalin. At the age of 10 I dream to find out if a child is actually named like that.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80560
 21.04.2013
From the guide to the car VAZ 2106:

It should be borne in mind that cars VAZ 2106 even one model and released at the automotive plant almost simultaneously, have pronounced individual characteristics of behavior on the road.

That is, the developer officially admits that he is not able to make two identical cars (I emphasize - expressed features).

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80559
 21.04.2013
Torrent commentary on a movie:
A group of guys are drawn into a bar in downtown Los Angeles by their common ex-girlfriend.
Have you made a full movie about it?
It is cool!
The Germans are able to show 3-4 such stories in an hour and a half.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80558
 21.04.2013
xxx: Miniature superchargeable batteries developed
xxx: With such batteries it is possible, for example, to transmit a radio signal at a distance 30 times greater than with conventional power sources or reduce the size of the battery by 30 times. In addition, the batteries can be charged 1,000 times faster than modern ones. It is impressive, isn’t it?

The iPhone 12. Our new fit is an electric shocker. Slogan "Try to choose"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80557
 21.04.2013
xxx guys capec bought a T-shirt wife out of the house says in this T-shirt to me do not approach =)
With tanks?
XXX as I guessed.
YYY has the same problems.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80556
 21.04.2013
Disputes about gender relations:
I’m not saying I’m not a pig.
You’re not a pig, you’re not an ordinary guy.
I’m not a wicked car, I’m not a wicked car :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80555
 21.04.2013
Cats are called whiskers.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №80554
 21.04.2013
Correspondence to ISQ:

She: and what? )))
He is: What?
She: Well what one? I am about today.
He is: What? o.o
“Are you stupid?” What did you do at the exam?
He is: *what li and exams
She: What are you talking about?! to
Tagged: epic fail

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80553
 21.04.2013
The cat, infected, knows and understands so many words that, speaking about it with someone at home, I begin to involuntarily look around - is he sitting next to me?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №80552
 21.04.2013
Conversation in the trolleybus
Are they still singing that song as they are called? He is a fool, she is a sixty.
Do you go down and down?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80551
 21.04.2013
The Sunday. The morning. Call from work. Me and my girlfriend:
D: Who was calling?
I: A colleague at work says I need to work.
D: So let it work.
I: He can’t – he’s a manager.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80550
 21.04.2013
Q: What did you do in the army? Where did he serve, how did he see it? Tell me!
WOW: Well, we grabbed the tranches there, built defensive shafts, conducted communications...
Q: Did you work in the building? Did you shoot from the machine?! to
WOW: Yes not. We just built the commander. I served in the army, gave the soldiers pills, it was boring. Here they are.)

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80549
 21.04.2013
The water in the toilet did not go away
The Uncle Arrives
xxx: said "give a sex cloth, pack a maiku and close the door";
Two minutes later, everything goes away.
XXX: What did they do? :DDD

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №80548
 21.04.2013
In the morning after the injection:
XXX is oh! You are so careful: even the bed filled.
YYY: You won’t believe, I’ve been doing this in the army for a whole year.
XX: Yes, I was also in children’s camps.

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