In the competition for the title "idiot of the year" with a big break won Valer.
He bought for 150 thousand seats in line for the iPhone. I wanted to sell him. No one bought the place.
Valera had no money for the iPhone, so he just went in and went out!

It was a few years ago, I was looking for a manager in the development department, the director of which I was.



Two candidates attended the meeting. One I liked, the other not. Here is this second just somehow completely disliked, the unclear appearance of a silver official, uncertainty, the northern "blowing" accent, lack of profile experience. I did not doubt the choice. Write resolutions on summaries, give it to the secretary, you put it in the frame - contact the candidate you liked and hire him. What a surprise I was when the second one came out!



I lost the gift of speech at first. I moved to watch and realized that the fool himself and confused the resume, in the frames sent with his resolution wrong. But what to do now? The man has already worked, signed all the papers, himself is ready for battle, looks clear in anticipation of the introduction. You can’t say to him, “Sorry, the mistake came out, we didn’t want to hire you.” Shaking my heart, I decided to spend some time on training a person and see what will happen. And you know what? We worked with him for almost 4 years and he was the best manager in the entire team! He turned out to be so cool that I still regret he had to move to another city and I couldn’t work with him any longer. What am I for now?



It is banal that in our lives a lot is made up of coincidences and mistakes that grow into victories. Give people a chance!

To success in the sport, you need to pass nine WADA rounds.

We have a client, one of the key ones. It takes large volumes, but loves to confuse. Here and today, sent an urgent application for a different tool. The goods are not ours at all, but you will not give up, and the times are now that you get everything.
Accepted, I say, we will work, and he - let me, say, sooner, you will have time to issue a bill - pay.
It’s easy to say, until evening. This is a whole list of all kinds of scratches, scratches, scratches, cutters and the like. We begin to process the order, call the factories - they raise us a lot of questions. Steel, brand, section, etc. And a lot of different nuances, and similar options are full, and it costs a lot of money.
We call the customer to let their suppliers consult, and they themselves know nothing, the master, did the request.
We call the masters, they also scratch the tail, doubt, then consult and say:
Better call Seraphim.
We sit down and pick up a seraphim. The worker has no cell. After lunch, a whispering old voice responds:
The apparatus...
Around this dialogue:
- Vladimir Serafimovich, we have a question about cutting, your masters said this brand...
Which one? What? → Master, the mind is half-cold... Yes, they have such cuts a detail in a month will go under the cone!
Under the cone...
Eggs and how? Material science needs to know, wear out of the tool by type... And then the spindle will be sins, that there is no association with the back of the grandmother... right?
Oh yeah... well, yeah...
“Tokari bakery... write a mark... all that?
Another question on the head...
and etc. On the list...

I have now set the bill and I sit, I think it’s still good that such Seraphimichi are left with us. They will die and a lot will go under the cone.

This world is very strange. If the power finds oil in your backyard, it is state, and if the drugs are yours.

A friend works in the IT-division at one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in our city. They bought some new equipment from the Chinese. A group of Chinese engineers came from the supplier to start everything, train staff, and so on.



In parallel with the Chinese, contractors from the operator are working to organize a separate access point for the equipment, because they are planned to be controlled via Wi-Fi. And actually, in fact. Chief engineer Ivanich explains to the communicator where and how to pull the cable. A Chinese man is passing by. The main one: “Sanya, you coordinate all your actions with him, this is the chief Chinese, Huang Sun.” Go ahead and see another Chinese. Ivanych sharply brakes, staring into the face of the Chinese, says, "Or here with him."

Where the wise one doubts, the fool becomes a ballot.

There is a problem in the modern world that some children begin to talk late and to help them have to look for logopedists. The best specialists with young children work in the form of a game, so that children are happy to perform tasks and are happy to form the necessary skills.
There are truth and dissatisfaction. One mom asked, “When will you work with the baby?” You are all playing.”
We have a very strong idea that learning is associated with suffering, it is necessary to force and hold the belt close.

Digital technology has captured our city.
Now in the tram I can pay with a contactless card.
It is only a shame that the tram of 1958 is released.

I went to a familiar admin at work. We sit down, we talk about general topics, here comes the chord. Director of one of the offices. He holds a webcam in his hands. From career to career:



"Listen, my web camera here in my house burned, and something I looked at - it's new more than a thousand worth. Can you replace it for me with one of the factory, and then write it down as being out of order?



P.S. After the guy's departure, the administrator, looking at my faint face, said that "such subjects are in order. Tonight I will tell him that such models are not used, it will not be possible to write off. “Do not send him off the threshold.”

I come home from work tonight. I hear my wife talking to someone on the phone. Judging by the conversation, someone from long lost relatives.

I’m two years younger, a year and a half younger.

As long as we live there, the house is not finished yet.

And you have who?

Well, and the other shake of relatives who have not been seen for a long time... I shake up, scratch the younger (the elderly torments the homework). The wife sneezes and shows gestures of something like: "Now I'll cut off dinner." Meanwhile, the conversation smoothly changes the subject:

No, until I work, in the decree, only the husband earns.

A third of his salary goes to mortgage.

Not until it works...

Here the conversation smoothly goes down and ends. I am interested:

And who is it?

- Two-born sister, you don't know her, my uncle's daughter from the first marriage. We barely communicate, we met 10 years ago, and it was by chance. A couple of times crossed in the Odnoklassniki, the last time three years ago, but she did not want to communicate.

What do they need?

– 100,000 for three months, but I understand that without a return...

So if you were called long lost relatives - it is not just so...

Our people will be sick as long as doctors are paid for being sick.

This story, about our younger brothers, happened a few years ago.

It started with the fact that the aunt, who worked in the JEC all her life (now also) saw a mouse, when she in fear stumbled around the courtyard with a piece of somewhere picked carrot, and then rushed into the basement window of our house.
The impressive woman was very upset and soon, on her initiative, the workers came and all the roofs in the basement windows under the first floor were sourly cooked.

It was in December, and the same day suddenly hit strong frosts.
The courtyard cats were heated in the basement, and those who went out to the city for food returned and found a welded entrance. They wandered through the courtyard and wondered – why did they do so?

And here, I go out of the entrance, and I see a complaining cuddling cat of a familiar color.
The local cat pulled their kittens out to play in the yard and apparently didn’t have time to bring them back to the basement. He climbed to the staircase, it was cold, his mom cried and cried.

The thought of the cats, who probably remained in the basement, did not happen. Their mother is probably now running around the house, trying to climb to them somehow, or at all in the basement locked up... well, first all the mice will be eaten, and then?

I then called my handcuffed friend and said:
The cows in the basement were cooked, and I have a familiar cat there. Let’s open up, right?
Is the cat familiar? You are giving. Your job is to do without a scandal.
- Everything will be okay, we will get the cat and cook later, and I will have half a liter.

And I think - it is not difficult to cook, but the frosts hit where they are now.

But they started solving tasks as they arrived. While we pulled out the iron sheet, a cat was found. She went unnoticed, sat down and watched the situation.
As soon as they opened the window, she immediately jumped into the basement for her children.

A young man gathered in the courtyard and discussed what was happening.
They remembered that the homeless cats were on the frost and immediately told their parents about it. The animals are frozen, the animals are frozen.
Everything went on by itself. The initiative group of tenants demanded to explain why they blocked the ventilation provided by the GOST.
The decision was cancelled, and cats and cats were able to survive that frosty winter.

Probably this is the same case when everyone was delighted - and children, and cats, and mice.

Paying a fine to the GIBDD, the terminal refused to accept a mint bill, so that a human and good man would never come.

She worked in her youth for a year in a Moscow preschool institution, during this time she saw a bunch of inadequate parents, nurses, and so on.

So here’s the story of one papule who brought his six-year-old every day at 7: 00 and scored at 19: 00.

The evening. We return from the walk at 18:20, we are going to eat dinner. The kids are tired and want to go home. For dinner they bring potts with pasta and meat. In the door appears a papule (code name Filex).

The dialogue (F-file, I am):

Q: I came early today.

I: Good night, you can take my son.

Q: You can take dinner with us, we’re in a hurry.

I: Emm, well, we don’t have food to take, let the child eat quickly and you go.

F: We really have no time, bring us with you, we pay millions of rubles for our children not to starve.

I have already surrendered.

I: We don’t have containers where you can collect them?

Here, the papule takes a file from the bag and stretches it out to me.

F: Please come here, hurry, we’re in a hurry.

While the assistant of the educator inconveniently folded the pasta with meat in a file, the phrase heard behind the door:

F: and pour out the sludge, or the son says he is not watered.

Picture: a happy dad, holding a file with the flowing meat, plants his son in a steep march and leaves at sunset.

Patience to you teachers!

I don’t know if I wrote about it here or not. I have lived for 24 years in the glorious city of Rybinsk. A few days ago, our officials broke the records of alternative talent. And the thing is this: our brave servants of the people calculated that the cost of travel in the city transport should be increased, but not how, but by 85 kopecks. The cost of travel in the trolley bus from October 5 will be 18 rubles 85 kopecks. Isn’t it beautiful. What comfort for the conductor, what convenience for those who pay for the trip, and the funniest thing is that the coins, nominally 5 and 1 penny, ceased to be issued 5 years ago) And whether it should be handed over at all. I don’t know why I am writing this here. To grieve or to cry.

When you hear the word "masturbation", it is always red like cancer.

When I was 12, I thought it was, fucking, monthly.

One day in the class, my stomach was squeezed and I ran to the school doctor.

The doctor asked, “Did you eat something like this yesterday/today?”

I answer, “No, but, you know, I’m on masturbation for the second day, maybe that’s why?”

I will remember her eyes for a long time.

I was 15. You can go to the river with friends or to the cinema or elsewhere, but I decided firmly that it was time for me to make money on my houses. I am at home the oldest after my dad, of men... I generally told my parents, and I started to think where and who I needed such a responsible. But the solution came by itself: our neighbor, with whom we communicate well, learned from my mother that I was looking for a job. And a miracle! He urgently needed a promoter. The word is what, as soon as he said it to me and even promised 100r/hour, I agreed. And I started working: I distributed advertising leaflets for 5 hours a day without a break. Summer, the heat was walking in the usual shale, and the legs at the end of the day, but it was worth it) 500p a day! This is a whole fortune!! One day, a man approaches me and says:

Will I pay you $150 per hour?

And let it! What to do that?

- Also leaflets, only glue them at the entrances

Let me think!

First a trial period. You will have a week to disclose, photograph, report and, of course, free!

Faith in people has been lost. He saw that I was 15, and decided to throw the boy on the grandmother. But I wasn’t down, so I sent him on a long walk. He saved my faith in the people of the neighbor, because he did not need any promoter. I just found out this year, by chance. Why him this? He said he just wanted to help me, others could give up. I did not regret the 15,000 that I paid for my honest work. I got something more than just money, I understood the value of that money and again believed in People.

Thank you Uncle Serena.

Pre-pensioners will now be fired six years before retirement.

Peter in the 90s

It was too late. We sat in the room. A lamp burned on the bedside, my mother laid out the pastion on the computer, I told about the events at school. Suddenly in the darkness of the corridor appeared bright lights - orange, yellow, white.

“Look, how beautiful it is, Mom,” I said and pointed my hand to the lights in the hallway.

Mom took her eyes off the computer screen, immediately jumped up and ran out into the hallway. On the floor at the entrance door, a flame burned brightly, flame tongues licked the door and climbed to the jackets on the hanging and shoes at the wall. Mother stumbled, went into the bathroom, jumped out of there with wet clothes in her hands and threw him into the fireplace.

She tried to call the neighbors, even the best friend of Aunt Tane from the third floor... But no one risked to get out of the apartment and see what was going on outside our door, in the entrance. Firefighters arrived and shut the door.

It turned out that the door was filled with gasoline and poured gasoline under the door. Then they burned. Dermatin covering of the door burned easily. The ceiling and walls on the floor were in black divides. Probably a week later, my mother took me and my brother and went to Moscow with their parents. Dad stayed in Peter to deal with the requests of the racketers.

In Moscow, we were hardly attracted to school, also in English, near home. The English school was different. They came here not to study, came here in leather jackets and to measure the cars of their parents. I didn’t have a leather jacket, I didn’t have much. There were brains. A couple of people bought such merits and I got friends. Moscow, in general speaking, seemed unfriendly to me, and the school was strange. On the controls, you could use textbooks, teachers even suggested the number of the page... it was fashionable to upload rights and argue about the ratings, with lessons they helped each other for money. And there was also a drawing that we did not have at school. I still remember how I fought over the drawing of the hook until my grandfather explained that it was possible to divide the circle into six parts by putting a circle on it with six rays.

And then I won some math Olympiad, by chance, it seems I was the only one in the class to put a module when calculating the square root. In general, we just did this at the school in Peter already, and the Moscow program lagged behind us. I was given a note and pencil.

The most interesting thing happened after the Olympics - the winners from different schools were invited to participate in the selection entrance tours to the mat. school. But it was a completely different school - normal, filled up with the same botanists as me, without parental jeeps and leather jackets. To say that I wanted to go there is to say nothing at all. I wandered and prayed all the selection tours, and on each tour we became noticeably less.

On the board were written logical tasks, on the table was a sheet and a pencil... after experimenting on paper, you could raise your hand and explain the solution of the task to one of the teachers in the class, not necessarily to the end, and the answer was not important. Some answers were counted, some not. We could not prepare, but we could pray. And I prayed.

My mother didn’t know why she took me to the exam. The task on the board she did not understand, her child was not a genius. But it was she who pushed me at the end. According to the results of the tours, several people were selected, who had to be asked again at the interview. And here, when the question was decided will take this white-brush or "this guy," my mom spoke to me: "Speak English, talk about your foolish football, about playing guitar. You wanted here. Interest the people!”

Oh, what a charm, she’s playing football! We have a female football team!

I was taken.