bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72746
 08.11.2012
She cried through the whole apartment:
I need dead bodies for school tomorrow!! to
O O O O O? Asya, go down and repeat what you need?
The bodies!
Assy, whose bodies do you need: human, animal, insect?
and human! - here in my head grows a plan, as we are now urgently going to the morg of the first city hospital to negotiate the body of the child for work.
“Hedgehog, rice, seeds... I need crops for work,” Asya repeats.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №72745
 08.11.2012
In the morning I want to sit at the table, and in my place, as appropriate, the cat lies.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Let me sit!
And she stands up and changes the dislocation so that I have enough space.
They are from another planet, and sometimes they burn.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №72744
 08.11.2012
My younger sister went to the gynecologist, 19 years old. A doctor is sitting, filling out a card, the classic question: “Are you a virgin?” Sister: "Yes" The doctor’s eye is 0_o "what, at all????Q&A: I didn’t even find anything to answer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №72743
 08.11.2012
<opium> I invented a new emoji
<Opium >
Opium> is a ninja

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72742
 08.11.2012
C this hospital smoothly turns into a cat: I sleep again. Sometimes I eat eggs.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №72741
 08.11.2012
Xxx: I used to attack a cat in the dark, and now even a robot vacuum cleaner!
Yyy: What, meucal or whispered?
Xxx: Nothing but the wrath of the march was hidden, as if the rubbish did not fall into the tapes.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72740
 08.11.2012
Maybe it is very annoying when the head hurts and the husband is not?

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72739
 08.11.2012
It's shit when you're stuffing something and you don't know what to do with it and at the same time in those. Support calling is not an option...because those. The support is you =(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72738
 08.11.2012
Talk to a familiar business lady.
I: She’s generally nothing, looks, brains, money... but, fucking, why can’t she remove the whims?
Friend: Well, we often don’t notice the elementary things that are right under our nose. This is literally =D

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72737
 08.11.2012
The wise is not the one who laughs at stupidity, but the one who uses it.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72736
 08.11.2012
My friends, it was the case, bought the one-year-old son in секоnd-hende a coat-coat, like a motorcycle. Stretching, stretching - everything seems to be normal, only the sleeves are short and stitched. When carefully examined, it turned out: a jacket for a bulterier.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №72735
 08.11.2012
As practice shows, a quiet cry: “Well, no hero to yourself!” It attracts more attention than a loud appeal: “Citizens!”

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72734
 08.11.2012
Well, I realized that for some girls Halloween is the only opportunity to go through a facebook check in the club :(

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №72733
 08.11.2012
We stand with a friend, whose girl is in a position, in the store at the box office:
He: See how much condoms are worth (showing on durex)
I: And what is that?
He: It can be broken down!
I don't think for a long time: I watch you dohuya saved))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №72732
 08.11.2012
The context:
A friend tells about a device developed and assembled by their company, which they sent to Germany to the buyer of this device. My friend is a programmer.

"And another joke:
We sent him to Germany, there the type was a German, and tested it on bugs (speaking the type: I found a bug...). I corrected it in parallel. Then the device burned (but it wasn’t because of me): We explained him there by Skype how to turn it off and so on. He disassembled it and said: Oh, I found a real bug!!! to

And there was the dead cow of God lying inside.)
It’s just because we had their dohuya here, they just slipped everywhere, and one got there))
andquot;

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72731
 08.11.2012
An announcement at the entrance “...In our entrance appeared ONANIST!” comes at different times of the day, turns off the lights and blows.
It also liked: “... men don’t stay disinterested!” and “Let’s work together to solve this problem.”


[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №72730
 08.11.2012
Invisible: on what topic the collage to do!? to

I : what?

Question: What theme to make!? to
Is it more understandable?)

I: What other collage?

Nana Kakaakuyu Teteemmu Mu College Doing!!?? to

I: Do you have all the processes only increasing the volume works?)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72729
 08.11.2012
We are here "Pjessa"

Piece: Hello to all! I think people can read nick.
X is shit! Hi to you!
Y: The Prayer
Z: Welcome to write!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72728
 08.11.2012
xxx guys help me! My phone doesn’t turn on or turn off.
Zzz: Do you have Schrödinger’s phone?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72727
 07.11.2012
AAA: I was talking there with a guy from Bahrain, he says, I was with you in Moscow, Pepez, everything is so expensive. I lived in a hotel – $3,000 per night room, and here in Thailand everything is cheap.

XXX: Should he have answered this way: Just 3 pieces per night? What, did you live in the hostel behind McDom? Fouu, the Bahrain castle.

VVV: And the poor.

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