In war, politicians give arms, the rich give food, and the poor give their children. When the war is over, politicians shake hands, the rich raise food prices, and the poor look for the graves of their children.

Xxx: I get fat so no one wants to divorce me for sex and break my heart.

On the stage of the theatre of military action, someone supplies expensive items, and someone supplies cheap actors of mass scenes.

The piano was inherited from my grandmother. I decided to sell it on the aircraft. I waited a long time, no call.
And suddenly they call, “Have you sold the piano?”
I answer that not yet.
And in response, “I sold it” and put on the phone.

In the list of unfriendly countries it remains to add its own. Then the meaning of the decisions made will be clear to everyone.

I don’t want to talk to fools or smart people.
I have nothing to say to fools, and the wise have nothing to say to me.

Fortunately there was no limit.

When I was a child, I sang “Beautiful far away, don’t be cruel to me...” I asked humanly, beautiful, what hero?

You also asked to go to the land of the deer. With the arrival...

It was three years ago. for an interview.

Show me your portfolio.

Yes of course. I have a website where you can see it.

I say address. Five minutes later, HR thoughtfully said:

Hm... Did you do this website?

Yes to me.

Are content marketers able to create websites?

Modern technology allows anyone to do it.

I doubt it. How do you confirm that this is your website and your portfolio?

Look at the “On Me” and “Contacts” page. This information relates to me.

A minute of reflection:

How can you prove that this is your website? You could easily hack the site and place information about yourself there.

If a woman says she hates you, she loves you, but you are a goat.

A friend's brother in the subway was driving and playing a toy on a smartphone - a tower protection, something. He sits next to him and says:

Do you like the game?

and yes.

I created her. I am a mobile game developer.

by Nothing!

Do you know there is a secret level?

and no.

Give me the phone, I’ll show you.

by Na.

Chat here does not catch the network.

The "developer" got up with his smartphone for 50 tr "catch the network" lost among the passengers and quietly left the car at the stop.



He is 35 years old and believes in stories.

Is it possible to dry clothes that need to be washed at 30 degrees on the balcony where 40?

I go in the tram. I hear, behind me, grandfather loudly, on the whole tram asks the conductor:

Can I go to Red and White?

And so tragically breathing continues: - I have to get there...

Everything in this world depends on God.
- It is from God, and only to decide how to be with us, God will be based on our actions. It already depends on us.

To a colleague, the daughter gave a dog — a small one, black. A rare species. And here she was in the train with this dog and went out of the bathroom for a moment, literally for a second! The train was half empty and she was driving alone. The door, of course, was closed. Well, where can a small dog go from a closed coupe? She has nowhere to go! When I came back, there were no dogs. She wandered and searched all the stuff – NO! Then I noticed that there was a tiny hole in the wall with the neighboring coupe — and suddenly a dog there?! to
Started to break in the neighboring coupe - no one responds and does not open. She is to the guide: so and so, dog-dog-dogaaaaaaaaaaaa! The conductor – what is she, the beast? He opens the door with his key... And they see a picture with oil: on the table lies a fried chicken, as it should be, next to it is a dog, slightly larger than a fried chicken, which joyfully starves this chicken, and on the contrary - the passenger, the owner of the chicken, in a deep stupor.
Can I take my dog? The lady badly asked.
Here the citizen came out of the stupor, turned, and, looking at the lady with eyes full of horror, asked with a tragic whisper:
What is a dog?! to
Well, it can be understood — just imagine: you sit, drink, snack chicken, and then suddenly out of the wall comes THAT...
The Belgian Griffon is called!

The Titanic radio rumble tells how badly the iceberg suffered.

You have 10 seconds to ruin a date. What will you do?



YYY: I will come to him.

xxx: Technically, you have 5 minutes to live, but with every breath you update the timer.

X: I woke up one morning. Yesterday I drank a ton of alcohol, and I at least had hen. I am in the joys to the store, I think I will go to the roots and they will die there. I came and... It turned out that I didn’t have a bumper because I was still a bumper.

Lies from lies are distinguished by some elegance and sophistication.