bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149105
 16.02.2018
>> Do you want anyone to bother you? Carry all your treasures in your pockets so that they don’t melt away.

Interesting, when dedicating to the wasserman, the beard is given or it is necessary to come with it?
And the brain?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №149104
 16.02.2018
On the other hand, a friend told me how she and her little daughter in a blue dress made friends on vacation with another mother and her five-year-old boy. The boy insisted on calling his girlfriend’s daughter “he” and “that boy” (due to the color of the combination). One day a friend heard him talk to his mother:
Why is Anna so sad?
Anja is a girl.
Is he so sad?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149103
 16.02.2018
A huge round uncle constantly with his enormousness. He feels his body and evades, missing people. And you do not feel the backpack, besides, behind the back it is in the blind zone, and you scratch them all passers, thinking that they are you "attacking".

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149102
 16.02.2018
And remember, children, don’t drink coffee from a cup if it’s not your cup, but Petri.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149101
 16.02.2018
“Bl#t, Serego, the terminal server has crashed!
I am root.
Do you update the system on it?
I am root.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №149100
 16.02.2018
The Courage
At least, with sudden turns of your body, this dirty bag will stop hitting completely strangers in the face.
And do not be upset when you are taken for the backpack and attached to the mouth of the order - it is deserved.
– is
The overwhelming number of courageous friends - suddenly loses their will, facing someone other than their children, their grandmother, and generally outside of the Internet.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149099
 15.02.2018
Comment on the fight of CSKA fans with Hungarian criminal
Kentt: Gypsies fleeing horses, it happens.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149098
 15.02.2018
As a child, when I listened to the radio "Mayak", I thought: how they live there in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsk, if they have all the time at midnight.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149097
 15.02.2018
<Middt> I wanted to be an archaeologist. Honestly, not because of excavations, because of the smell of museums. Silence, darkness, dead pieces of something once alive, useful, meaningful. My mother insisted that I follow in her footsteps - as a result, we have what we have, a nonexistent psychologist in the clinic, in vain chewing off his pennies from the city budget.

<Akyuman> You are suffering in vain, I think. You know, O'Henry has a work "The Roads We Choose". There is no difference between your unfulfilled dream and reality. Silence, darkness, and the shattering pieces of something once alive and meaningful in this darkness.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149096
 15.02.2018
13th_Ka7aHe4: Well what?
Saloborn: The commander wished to try to work on the computer and ordered to bring a laptop.
Saloborn was brought. After 10 minutes the order: take a bad laptop that prints in English letters, and bring a good one to print in Russian.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149095
 15.02.2018
Why use a Wi-Fi coffee machine?
To add additives, of course.
Updates for what?! to
The soft :)
Why Soft Coffee?
To be able to Wi-Fi, of course :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149094
 15.02.2018
My friend's son is 5 years old. The family is Russian, the only child.

In the evening, after the kindergarten, he sits and dreams:

I will grow up, get married and have nine children. And I will call them Vanya, Sereza, Nikita, Masha,... and Ildar!

My mother is surprised:

Why is Ildar?

“Well, I don’t understand if I have nine children, I can’t even call one Ildar.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149093
 15.02.2018
Skvrlmrdrbjevski: In the phrase "I have heard you" I personally hear something intermediate between "Go to" and "Thank you".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149092
 15.02.2018
Has anyone understood what distinguishes Eldar, Noldor, Sindar, Nondor, Phalatrim, Galadrim, forest elves and green elves? They are all the same elves, only different names.

The same as the Tatars, Mordians, Chuvashis, Russians, Ethiopians, Papuas, Yakuta, Chinese, Swedes, Spaniards, etc. They are all the same people, but different names.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №149091
 15.02.2018

I went to the hospice. The caring wives are indeed more, because there are men lying alone... It is true that half were relatives of both sexes.

Men are lying. The husbands do not even put their wives there. How many sick women lie on my memory, all of them lie at home under the care of so busy children, the overwhelming majority - daughters. To see the husband, even alive - there are almost no such. Very often, after learning about the disease, the husband just has a new wife.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149090
 15.02.2018
Gorinychi snakes, unlike dragons, are peeled out of three-yellow eggs.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149089
 15.02.2018
I sing, I play, I draw, I sew, to the languages of ability... The only question is, why am I acting better than my husband with a screwdriver and a blade? Well, in short, the third husband is already hard to endure. And what should I do? Hiding their abilities? Sooner or later it will come out of the bag. And then, to strike yourself on the throat - it is possible only for the sake of a very valuable man.

You can’t get married well – get married.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149088
 15.02.2018
xxx: But, by the way, it was wildly funny when some guy said to me "Oh, right she is rushing here, equality wants, go to the factory to work! ", and I am like "I am working at the factory, BULVAN! And I do a lot of hard work, like the hundreds of women I see there every day, who take 12 hours in day and night shifts to pull concrete with their blades, repair huge machines, put jewelry with many tons of items, sit on the crane, work on a break-up, break off products from the pads, climb into the oven, within which 60 degrees to push the stuck pad, work with chemicals from which the skin runs.

This silence responds to you. A striking detachment from reality in people))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149087
 15.02.2018
There are two deer hearts. The frozen ones. What can be done so that the deer does not share them in vain? Nothing comes into the head.
22: Push the arrow and give the 14th number to a man as a Valentine.
Let him decide what to do with them.)

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №149086
 15.02.2018
My wife and I hired a cleaner, a student girl from our own home. She came twice a week for 2,500 and cleaned everything in the apartment (50 meters) to each dust, because there was not enough scholarship, and they don't get to work without experience.

And then she left our house and I learned that she lived with her girlfriend, they separated, and the apartment was that girl’s. And now sometimes I wake up at night and think that literally recently three floors below in the exact same apartment, there was a beautiful deceit in its shape and content and how they smoothed and kissed each other in the dim light of the nightmare, how their hair was beautifully lying on their pillows and how she gently guided her finger on her stomach, from the top down and looked into her wet eyes, snacking her lower lip with perfect white teeth, and in the morning they woke up in a hug and cooked breakfast together completely naked and laughed of happiness.

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