bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148905
 08.02.2018
Not everything is a puddle that weighs

>> who will be the first to make fun of men's socks and pads, calling them "pedoric"?

Yes, a car of varieties of men's socks - starting from thermal underwear and ending with all kinds of biking and cycling. Why fight for them?
On the number of men's pads, I'm not aware - I know only sanitary and in various mechanisms. Not them?

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148904
 08.02.2018
But Musk has come up with the best way to get rid of the corpse, and everyone is in front of him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148903
 08.02.2018
Ahah, I remembered how one day my mom and I attacked a very good bowl in the retail store and I wanted my husband to buy one, I liked the two most - with a deer and a retro car. I tell my mom, say, with a deer cool, but it won’t be the kind of “you are a deer,” you think? Mom was extremely surprised and said, “And with the car, you are a car, what?”
That read does not come to mind at all.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148902
 08.02.2018
Xxx: By the way, yes, and why do men not take hospital when a child is ill?
Where does this false infa come from? My husband went to the hospital with small children. It was more profitable so. He did not suffer from this unlike mine (my was much higher, etc.). Well, and profit in the form of improved understanding and deepening feelings to the doll.
The other issue is that this is more an exception than a rule.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148901
 08.02.2018
He said right!

>> – Have you heard of it? Drunk, he walked into a tiger’s wheel. He broke through the fence, pulled off the net with a stick and tried to take a picture with the tiger. He was broken into pieces.
That’s what he needs, shameful.
Do not say that! This is Victimblaming! No one has the right to tear a person into pieces. It doesn’t matter if he was sober or drunk. It simply cannot be done!!! to

— — —
It is correct to keep these primitive wild animals locked in a cage away from people. Whoever does it is a samurai. And if they break out and not in a cage, but in a dark street attack or clamp into the club - shoot on the spot without a lawyer. They are not people, stupid cattle.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №148900
 08.02.2018
I was still studying in the universe. There was a lack of scholarships and I had to go to work. Set up in the totalizator at the point of sports betting to take. The salary is small, but a very convenient schedule. From some point on, a man of intelligence started betting, such as in glasses, with a portfolio and in a suit. In 8 out of 10 cases, his bets were won. The man can see that he understands precisely, and not from the bowl is betting.

I decided to play too. I made the same bet on my own behalf. The money went, and the phone was enough, and the pieces were new. You can say that this man with his stakes fed me all of my studenthood and two years later.

And then that man disappeared, maybe he found a point closer or something else. Without a man and his bets on the point, it became not interesting and not profitable to work, so I resigned.

It was the easiest money in my life.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148899
 08.02.2018
xxx> In our time, mechanics is as atavistic as a horse. It’s like getting the pleasure of making the car with your hands.)
yyy> You will be surprised...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148898
 08.02.2018
Once they talked.

So that, given a wealthy aunt, you could not think about money, and that the aunts would find us themselves.

Kiev is ready to take the guy to perform the assignment function, in exchange for providing a rental hut and some amount of money for the spikes. The amount will depend entirely on the quality and variety of allocation. Requirements: brunette, age 20-27, height 190+, without a bluse. Blue eyes are an advantage. Seriously, keep the contacts.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148897
 08.02.2018
- During the winter falls somewhere 40 kg of snow per 1m², if they don't sneak.
But he gets bored. Right from morning. Those who are tractors.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148896
 08.02.2018
All these winter fun.
HH: not mine
WOW: Yes
You just haven’t tried it.)
WOW: It is great!
Wow: and then wow, after skiing and in the bath, 50 grams of eggs under the cucumbers and in the stove, then you fly out so hot and dive into the snow! colic throughout the body, and running back into the steam under the wings, along the way do not forget 50 grams, so repeat 3 times
Then washed with shampoo, and at this time the fireplace is already burning and the strawberries are marinated.
We go to the house, there heat and the stove is melting, we sit down, we drink the ice night, we wait for a shale, a music on the background.
Q: When are we going out?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148895
 08.02.2018
“I am also looking for technical translators from banal English, any gender, even transgender, but only after performing a test task in the form of not the most complicated page from the documentation we actually got. Oh where are they? not there. Even if the candidates overdo even on our small salary.”
Those who at the beginning of the two thousand worked from 6 cents for the word of the original on projects of Microsoft, Intel, large IT vendors - never burn with the desire to work for a "little salary", and either work directly with customers, or have left the industry at all. Students and housewives come to you. They killed the market of qualified technical translators with rates, schemes of payment for coincidences and orders for machine translation - what are you crying now that no one of the professionals for three pennies wants to work, and who wants - you don't need it for nothing?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148894
 08.02.2018
If you remove from the film "The Other World" all the fantasy about vampires and the reverse, it will remain the story about the conflict of Poles and Romanians.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №148893
 08.02.2018
I am a photographer, there is a lot of work that requires patience.

So it happened today, with the client picked a bench in the park with a beautiful background, noticed and headed to it.

But not here you were, out of 100 benches in the park, God's inflated was chosen for us.

Well, what to do, having decided to take another bench, went to equip. While preparing for the shooting, the client decided to try his luck and ask his grandmother to sit down.

Torture is not torture, then the client (K), grandmother (B):

Q: Good morning dear, please move to another bench, we need this for filming.

B: This is my bench.

Q: Okay thank you.

B: Okay man, I’ll sit down!

Q: is it true? Thank you more!

B: Thank you in your pocket, 5000 rubles!

The client turns and leaves.

B: Okay, well well 1000

Q: No thanks, we will do it.

After a failed attempt, we decided to take another. But then the grandmother stood up, came and sat down on our bench. We silently gathered and moved where we originally planned.

They went over, the grandmother stood up and came to the village. He talks cold. We are busy here, if you do not notice. To which we get a negative answer, and breathing, we go to the "cold" bench. Yes is. My grandmother stood up and came here. He talks hot.

So we go back :)

The picture repeated, but did not sit down, laying all the things on the bench. What got a portion of insults, what all the bad, and all the deeds. She turned and left.

After breathing with relief, I started working.

But our rest from old age did not last long.

I look at this person going with the security guards, already in the head started to roll, which she complained about :)

But this, I did not expect, the grandmother said that we stole 5,000 rubles from her.

The pirate stealed unnoticed, telling our version to the police, they fell into confusion, under the threat to smash the criminal, the grandmother confessed that we did not steal anything from her.

And here’s a bad scene, so does grandmother get a cigarette and smokes...

The law enforcement officials apparently realized that they had not been pulled out in vain, and they got papers and such things: “That’s a citizen, we smoke in public places”.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148892
 08.02.2018
I went to the pharmacy today, in front of me buying a man (looking 50 years old, quite strong, a small beard). The following is the dialogue between this man ("M") and the seller ("P"):

Q. Do you have a cough syrup? It would be delicious. (I smile at myself: “daughter or son takes”)

P (with the same guess, smiling) - and how old is the child?

M is forty six.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148891
 08.02.2018
Today my boyfriend spoke with friends about how much time takes girls to get out of the house (cut hair, makeup, etc.). I said, “I never waste time on such a mess.” My boyfriend looked at me and said, “Maybe I should?”

LIFE from SHIT

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148890
 08.02.2018
#matstat, gender differences

Let us uncover the great secret. All this intriguing statistics in practice is meaningless. It’s about large amounts of data, not individual examples.
Take a simple analogy: the size of shoes. Let’s say, we know statistically that the most people on the planet are with the size of 41. But no one will pair exactly 41 in shoe stores, relying on statistics. And no one will mock and insult people looking for a size of 36 or 45 (bggggy, the fools, still know that the majority have 41!). And coupling life and profession in this way is considered completely normal. Well, yes, we are social animals, if society broadcasts something to us - at least with contemptible smiles, when we dreamfully hit the 45th size instead of the 41st, - we are very likely to give up and walk in the 41st, and louder of all to oppress the bastards who have gotten so greedy to shoe the 45th, rather than to suffer like us. The smart ones have been found.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148889
 08.02.2018
The gender-shmer

As for the forums, I was very close to signing with a female name all the way and not hiding it at all, because in most cases men remember that they are stronger and smarter and seek to help the lady in any matter. And considering that my youth passed on bicycle forums and in the crowd of those still padonkaff, on the "show breasts" there were three beads of sharp answers, cheering the respectable audience and not humiliating the owners of breasts. And just the widespread belief that girls are stupid, played very much on the hand, when a girl turns out to be smart, it broke the patterns and attracted boys. So girls, instead of suffering, read books and be smart, on the backdrop of stupid you will stand out even more.

In life, of course, everything is more difficult. My genderist once seriously said that a girl can be paid less for the same job than a boy, because a boy needs to earn, and a girl needs to have a earning boy. And here, of course, there is almost an impasse. There is an option to change jobs.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148888
 08.02.2018
xxx: I don’t understand how Elon Musk does all this without a pop with a catch...

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148887
 08.02.2018
Memory is a patience. You will spend five minutes in the store (even if there was a single point in it), and you will remember what kind of life, the type of 90s Kai Metov's song, you will remember all of this past life.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148886
 08.02.2018
To be sexualized, to be harassed and attached. So that, given a wealthy aunt, you could not think about money, and that the aunts would find us themselves. I also want men’s socks, pads and other joys of life.

What do men have now? Beautiful people are always persecuted very actively, finding a patron was not difficult even in the Middle Ages (and it is not necessary for this to be beautiful, you can write poems, music, be a talented comedian). Pads are available ( they are usually worn with enuresis, but you will find them in any pharmacy). Clothes, loins, leggings, cosmetics, jewelry, everything has a place to be and is actively used by men of different orientations. Moreover, most of this has historically belonged to men. Men have something to fight for, but you have chosen some kind of mess.

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