God has no wife and the devil has no wife. They probably know something.

How I walked in the costume. A story of coincidences.

The epigraph.
“Two captains will sink a ship.”

So it turned out that my father has almost a square figure. My mother is natural. As a result, my figure, especially in my youth, resembled and now resembles the big letter "T". Oh, and I struggled in my time in search of strict costumes suitable for my figure! Because if you take the size of the suit on the jacket, the pants will rinse on the wind like sailing. If you take on the pants - the jacket simply breaks in the shoulders. While I was a high school student, my mom wasn’t frightened – she just took me a school suit the size of my jacket. And the trousers were immediately given to a relative who was a professional caretaker.

Once, while I was still living in Peter, I had another challenge to buy a new suit - I was invited to the wedding as a witness. It looked like shops. The cloud. And then I was told that in our business center, on the next floor from my IP, a sewing shop for the sewing of "Italian" costumes opened. They sell these costumes. Both in wholesale and retail. There was nowhere to go, the deadline was pushed - I decided to go.

It was very decent quality. Despite the modest scale of production and the obvious discrepancy of the brand location. In one room - a sewing shop, in which several women-porters worked. In another, larger storage store. At the entrance sits a shy guard and tries to "revive" the pre-submarine television, energetically giving the shy unit cracks and ticks.

Two women were in charge of the whole process. As far as I understood, they were unable to separate spheres of influence and responsibility and both ruled everything at the same time. One was quieter and more explicit. The other was always in a light state of agitation. And almost - I immediately went on to scream... But the price was suitable for me, and the time was in scratch.

I decided to negotiate with a quieter boss. Explain the purpose of the task. She answered:
Yes without problem. You, the main thing, put away separately those pants and jackets that you will not fit from the "divided" sets. And we will give the team in the shop - and the girls will fill the missing. But, in general, we have good quality - something must fit.

I picked up a great set of characteristics. The chosen jacket, as always, was two sizes larger than the pants, who would be surprised... The joyful went to pay. Hearing our conversation with a quiet commander, to the "complex" I abandoned, another buyer from our same business center immediately stumbled with interest - a pear-shaped elderly man, with very narrow shoulders and a wide, sorry, pop.

I had time to pay for it, and suddenly a loud and whispering voice from a more nervous commander came to me:
The Mighty A! Have a conscience! Where can we find such a mutant on these remains? With such narrow shoulders and so thick, sing!? to
The more calm partner just had time to breathe out:
and galia!!...

The peach-like man stopped and, covered with bad red spots, angrily said:
What is “Mutant”?! to
Then he turned and went out offended. Only at this moment the screaming boss noticed the “pearl-like”. There was inconvenience.

Here, finally, the guard was able to give a successful "spark" to the old television, and he, for a short time, issued to the full volume of his whispering speakers an epic phrase from the TV advertisement:
“Sometimes it is better to chew than to talk.” After the death finally...

Discussion of news:
"The man who confessed to his neighbor in the theft of his «Land Cruiser», found on the scene of the accident with a broken engine"

The poor Carlson.

As honey students, all the entrances and exits to all the hospitals of the city have been studied well. Somewhere it is more convenient to go through the food block, somewhere through the passage to the morrow, somewhere in general through the neighboring building and the communicating basement...Who breaks into the reception room? There, as a rule, it is closed and cloudy aunts do not let anyone. No one at all, because decent people on scheduled hospitalization come from 9 to 12. The rest are brought by ambulance, and they have a separate entrance and entrance through a separate box. What is broken? Why Why? Do you die? Do you have any illusions about the possibilities of our medicine...to die in the hospital corridor, waiting for the emergency surgeon to operate – sweeter? It has long been known that you need to be very healthy and strong to go to the hospital.

At work noon we make noise insulation in the apartment, opened the floor. A neighbor from below, whose way of listening to music prompted us to noise isolation, called the police. Too much noise.
P.S When the report was filled, the police laughed a long time.

You sit all day beautiful in futuristic interiors listening to blockchain, then go out, half an hour to the parking lot on foot, melting, snow in the rain, fucking under your feet, no lights, no sidewalks, no navigation, barracks, fence.
I love the school.

Conversation with sister:
C: I will need to take you again for 2 days 1.5 pieces
I: Why can’t you get a guy?
C: I don’t want to take money from him.
C: Who is it for me
I: So is it with the return.
C: Maybe we’ll break up tomorrow.
I: very good
I: You will have 1.5 pieces.
Consider it a bet.

I’m sitting, I mean, eating lunch in the cafe.
There are two ladies nearby: the older and the younger.
The younger second shows photos, general comments: here, look here she sleeps. The scarf is like that. But here is Daddy’s eyes, almost blue. Such a charm. Yes, she is a year old. The light. Well, we will soon sterilize, yes...

I packed up a huge Ikeev candle. My 3-year-old watched with great interest.
Mom, what is this?
The candle, the light.
In the pop?! to

And after 20 years of marriage, the woman wants her to be conquered, although the war has long been over, everyone has surrendered to captivity and cooperates with the occupants in every way.

Advertising at the entrance door:
A black cat!! to
<...a detailed description of the benefits of the cat>
The cat is in the basement of house number 50.
The cat is out!
Call by telephone < number>
I will call him.

by 1812

>> -Gm, I need to re-read "War and World" - I don't remember the episode with graffiti there at all...

How is it! Thro the way the French retreat on the walls of the surrounding villages - "Lagushatniki, gou houm!", "Corsican shortcut - loch, hmo and luzer!" and so on.
Some were made by D. Davydov personally.

Go to hell!! to
You sent me, I went down and the devil sent me to you.

<kouzdra> Instead of looking for planets similar to ours, so to speak, Earth 2.0, we can grow Man 2.0. And maybe such a person will have four hands. and a tail stabilizer.
Shamaner, as Zarathustra said, man is merely a rope stretched between a monkey and a four-handed stable.

"Saakashvili threatens to jump from the roof in Kiev".

Do not threaten, my dear. and jump. We have a free country.

[3:00:03] 1: and I am here under the noise of Avengers: citizen. Why can’t I stop thinking stupid thoughts?
[3:00:08] 2: m?
[3:00:50] 1: Interesting, "the consequences of the actions of superheroes" in the form of stolen and beaten cars, broken windows and other things - in that setup already an insurance case, or not?
[3:02:01] 2: I think the insurance lobby will not allow
They are afraid of natural disasters...
[3:03:34] 2: The compensation must be cut off - and only the starch will be cut off immediately
1: but it’s not too long. Because of course there is a dumb ass, but it is not infinite!
2: Well, and probably he’s just economical
And you know the price of this baby.
[3:05:47] 2: And by the way, the spider-man’s wearing a mask makes a special sense.

We are selling an apartment and looking for a suitable home to buy. We found the perfect, the price, everything suits.

I call.

Are you selling the house?

Yes, but I hear from your voice that you will not pull him.

The phone was put.

O_O

According to a friend of the manager of a small store:

I change clothes in the office. knock at the door. I think it is my colleague Seroga (and at this point they were only working in the store together), without looking at the door, I open it with one hand and say, "go in, don't squeeze."

At the threshold was a new employee who came to work for the first time. Then the picture: he is silent, I am standing in cowards, in a ripped socks, unbarred and stretching the shirt painted by my daughter. I want to see the director. I told him that it was me.You would see his expression.

I wonder what a new employee thought of such a rainbow reception?

Really genius.

> This is a great phrase:
He has Schrödinger's brains

It is in the sense of “as in the great scientist”, it is “unclear” whether they are alive or dead. The mattress.

Russia is a shit. A year ago, we rented a building without light. The light there was cut a year before us, just cut the wire, the pillar is 2 meters away. Connect for 5 minutes. But we need to "allow"
Send to Moscow - map of the area with all the houses, columns, wires. With distance. Questionnaire on 10 pages. Declaration and copies of all possible documents.
I read, I read, I read for a month. Then they say that this point is wrong. There’s a point that you fucking understand. has changed. I sent. I read for another month. Then they say, and you didn’t put it there (in a row of rows). And you answer them politely: the eyes of the fools are stupid, there are all the bars. They answered, oh yeah. This takes another 2 months.
And call and ask, hurry, they are almost impossible. Then, in the end (lasting 10 months) came permission. Ura to! The application will be handed over solemnly to Branson. And in the briansk they transmit a little higher and there they answer: HO-HO-HO! Wanted so fast? And you go now, hire an authorized office, let them do a PROJECT for you. Send the project to us, and we will honor it, we will send it to Moscow, there they will also honor it. Wait another year.
The pizzac...