bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149005
 12.02.2018
xxx: a boy (fourteen years old, note) is chasing a toy.
Translators are lying.
Where is?
-Well, this is the profession "Lecarity" (the hit is important)
What is wrong with you?

He looks with pity.

Medicine cannot be a profession. Medicines are sold in pharmacies

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149004
 12.02.2018
Pauses between strokes are also a kind of incentive.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149003
 12.02.2018
In the twentieth days of January 2018, I was almost lucky to participate in the VCIOM survey. The dialogue is almost literal.
Operator VCIOM: Good night. My name is <...>, I represent the All-Russian Center for the Study of Public Opinion VCIOM Moscow. We conduct surveys on current issues of society throughout the country. Your phone number was selected by the computer randomly and the call is free for you. The interview lasts fifteen minutes. Please tell me, can you answer our questions?
I: Let’s give it!
A: Okay thank you. Now the computer program will load... So, your consent is there. I want to say that an audio recording will be made to control the quality of the study. We guarantee complete confidentiality of your answers. According to the Russian legislation, the telephone number is personal data, and this information will be used by the service for internal quality control of the survey and immediately after its conduct will be deleted. Tell me, do you confirm your consent to the use of your personal data to monitor the quality of this survey?
I : Yes.
A: Okay thank you. Tell me, please, are we talking to you on a fixed or mobile phone?
I am on mobile.
A: This is a mobile phone. well well. I go to questions. I will emphasize that there are no correct or incorrect answers. Your personal opinion is important to us and we guarantee that your answers will remain confidential and will only be used in aggregate form. How can I call you, your name?
I am: <...>
A: Yes, “...” is very pleasant. well well. Please tell me, you are a citizen of the Russian Federation.
I : Yes.
A: Yes, there is. Tell me, please, in which region, country, republic do you permanently reside?
I am in Moscow.
A: Yes, this is Moscow – a city of federal importance. How many full years have you been?
I am: 29
A: Please tell me, do you follow or not follow the course of the election company on the Russian President elections?
I : Yes.
Do you watch carefully or watch from time to time?
I: From time to time.
A: Please tell me, do you plan to vote in the presidential elections in March 2018?
I am planning.
A: Do you rather accept than not participate, or do you definitely participate?
I : exactly.
A: I recorded your answer. As you think, President Putin works well or badly in his post and his work has been improving, deteriorating or not changing lately. I will give you the options of answers, choose one:
Good and improved;
good and does not change;
It is good, but it is getting worse.
It is bad, but it is improving.
bad and does not change;
Bad and worsening.
Please choose one option.
I: Probably bad and does not change.
A: Yes, it’s bad and it doesn’t change. So, for a moment... I noted your response, the program thought that was all.
I: is it all?
A: Yes, that’s all, the program doesn’t want to cooperate any more. These were all my questions to you today. Thank you very much for the dedicated time, all good, good evening!
I am yes. to Goodbye.
[The survey lasted less than 5 minutes, instead of the stated 15]

They have an interesting program.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149002
 12.02.2018
Roskomnadzor prohibited speaking about the old man and the fish.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №149001
 12.02.2018
About the Dragons

>> Well, why the dragon can be understood as a virgin. Why should a girl be the most beautiful? The dragon doesn’t care what form of meat to eat.

Because all the participants of the local circle of dragon science are trying to explain the dragon's needs from a human point of view, and this is incorrect.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149000
 12.02.2018
I would be easier to explain what synchrophasotron is.
— — — —
What to explain!
This is the throne on which the Synchrophasocar sits.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148999
 12.02.2018
From the response to the action camera:

Disadvantages: Modest functionality in settings, not a friendly interface, because of the shape many think it’s a wip.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148998
 12.02.2018
When will I meet your mother? The princess asks the dragon
When you have three heads. Preferably from one body. My mom reacted to this nuance.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148997
 12.02.2018
Reptilians do not suffer from human venous diseases. If the crocodiles in the blood have their own antibiotic, why even with a bitten leg they do not have sepsis and gangrene, then syphilis they - at once to sneeze. I think the dragon has more power. Oh, could heal the queen sick...if she could breathe. Dragon inhalations - no angina and tonsillitis. The fucking. In every decent sanatorium should be a dragon!There you and heating, and physical education...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148996
 12.02.2018
In every decent sanatorium should be a dragon!There you and heating, and physical education...

...and personal life is no different if you are suddenly a princess...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148995
 12.02.2018
Tagged with "pimeth":
Today I went under the doorstep. What is this?
Reply to:
This is the mafia. You put them in a dirty c-drop. Write a message.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148994
 11.02.2018
Salary Doctors
You don’t judge Moscow, right? We have in Khabarovsk on the hospital parking lot of cars for 180-200-350 thousand. Naturally, it is b / u toyota, Nissan, Mazda, Hyundai and other Asian automotive industry. I personally have a 1987 Toyota, and it costs 50,000 now, but I will not sell it. Because it was with these machines that Japan conquered the world.
Who is there for the beautiful Jeeps near the morgue?
They are sanitary.
Are these modest sedans?
They are doctors.
- And who is this going, in a clothed hat, jacket and crosses?
This is Professor! Welcome to Vladimir Petrovich!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148993
 11.02.2018
Good clothes make a woman beautiful.
Bad clothes color the water =)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №148992
 11.02.2018
Hermione (English pronounced Hermione) - the name of Greek origin, the female version of the name Hermes, means "a messenger". In general, Rowling in Harry Potter perfectly mocked British traditions of naming children, especially in wealthy families. Who doesn’t believe – read or look at Jives and Wuster, there every second aristocrat has a foolish name like Augustus or Hildebrand.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148991
 11.02.2018
<bla-bla about the book>
The “Papa has a heavy car” "The “Papa has a heavy car” "The “Papa has a heavy car”. Oh my God, where do they need it? They read and do not understand what they are reading.

Because, dear man, it is a work of a vocabulary reserve. And the task of the person with whom the child reads the booklet, all these words to explain and indicate the scope of application. Are there people in a healthy mind wishing their children a lexicon of Ellochki-human-eaters?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148990
 11.02.2018
XXX: Our people are genius. And when you go on the occasion with the customer, whispering with the heart you offer a solution from Mr. & Mrs. and sticks definitely someone will offer to save on sticks.

YYY: On the sticks, it’s still there and there, but when they offer to start saving on g@outdoors – that’s when the most mapping show begins.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148989
 11.02.2018
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Arrived to Oganesians to return the screwdriver
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Feeding
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Drunk
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: I handed out the pants from Germany and let go with peace, I adore this family)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148988
 11.02.2018
The doctor is not a doctor, the patient is alive. And they can even recover, which brings certain moral satisfaction. And the judge? Who opens up that is scary to look at? If he does not treat bodies like meat, he will not be able to work. He will either crash or die from a heart attack. Or, as is often the case, it will have a roof.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148987
 11.02.2018
We watched with my daughter today "Wallie", well, I had to explain on constant "chips" that "This robot was left to clean the garbage", "And this robot was sent to look for life, so that people could understand that on Earth can live again.""And why does he then shoot?"I also became interested, why a five-year-old child is obvious, and the adult uncles who created the cartoon do not.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148986
 11.02.2018
Website for Parents:
“I’m waiting for a boy and we have Wi-Fi at home. Could this affect my future son?
Of course! Your son is going to be Siddhartha!! to

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