bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147905
 06.01.2018
Any man who has visited the nursery will confirm you: babies appear to be all the same.
How a mother distinguishes her child, no man understands.

It does not differ. With the same view as a man. They are really all similar and we do not have a tenth sense for differentiating babies.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №147904
 06.01.2018
here here :

In the end, make a spoon that will count how many calories you have eaten. It will never end (

No-no-no, it is better to let her turn out of her hands and beat on her forehead when she overturns. So much more reliable.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147903
 06.01.2018
Forums of Microsoft:

xxx: Lack of drivers in the list of devices, hardware id: ptun0901
What is this driver?

Evgeny Moryakov : This is the driver TAP-Windows Virtual Network Driver, in my case this device appeared after using the program KMS to activate the program, on this device driver as I understood to put not real because it virtually connects the program and activates some software, a lot read about it and came to the simple and briefly just removed this device driver for it not to put.

Moderators of the forum : Tell us in more detail, what "program" did you activate KMS? Which OS is installed on your device? How did you acquire it? Tell me, don’t be ashamed.


[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №147902
 06.01.2018
He writes a letter to Santa. A maid rests next to the chair.
Do you want to write a letter to Santa?
Fatherhood: No
Son : Why?? to
I think I don’t need anything.
You don’t need a new boot? (Our grandmother has a caterpillar)
A lump, maybe I need it.
The next day, they found a letter written by a caring grandson.
Dear Father Christmas. My name is 60 years old. Give me a gift for the New Year"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147901
 06.01.2018
The main difference between knowledge and wisdom is that wisdom is never useless.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147900
 06.01.2018
Seven-year-old daughter yesterday first watched "Irony of Fate" and calmly concluded that it is a good movie about unpleasant people. Only Hippolyte is normal.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147899
 06.01.2018
A guy and a girl kissing on the couch.
She is:
Do you want to put on music for sex?
Go to!
Standing up and engaging Mendelssohn’s March.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147898
 06.01.2018
Why don’t you follow my instructions? Am I your boss or your dog?
Both one and the other.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147897
 06.01.2018
My cat is almost 14 years old.
Did you photograph him?
Why Why?
So he gets a passport.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147896
 06.01.2018
XX: You did so wisely that you didn’t go to visit them. Oh my God, they are somewhat wicked. They say, say, try these "sandwiches with tears", they chew, they chew. In appearance, just bread with pasta, and under the pasta a thick layer of mustard.
YYYY : YYYYYY That was my recipe. xd

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №147895
 06.01.2018
My friend works at Oracle, iron support. The client has a seat from one of the stands. At 2 a.m., the temperature steadily rises, then the food is cut off, the hellish overconsumption begins on the interruptor, after 40 minutes everything returns to normal. Change everything you can and can’t. did not help. The client cries and mosquitoes, the management is nervous. Calls for 30 people from a bunch of units. In the end, one girl wondered why it always happens exactly at two. Added access to the card. At 2 o'clock in the morning, the grandfather's cleaner goes to the machine room. Grandpa is called on the carpet, tortured what he is doing there. Grandfather tells him how he walks with the vacuum cleaner, nothing suspicious. The camera was put. At 2 in the morning again. Raise the recording.

Daddy comes into the room, hanging the coat (!) Standing on the back (!), pulls out two wires from the strip, a vacuum cleaner is plugged into one socket (!In the other cup (!Drive the vacuum cleaner for half an hour and drink tea for 10 minutes. He then pulls the wires back and leaves. Everything was explained.

During the process, it turned out that the grandfather was of a very respectable age, and dusting here since the time when there was a paper archive of the department in the room. From his point of view that some cabinets, that others - no difference.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147894
 05.01.2018
A moment of common sense and fact-checking.
A minute of German:

In Germany, the whole beer is produced under the name "Fucking Hell" ("Fukking light"), where hell in German means "light el", and Fucking is taken in honor of an Austrian town.

<nerdmode>
First, hell is just the word ‘light’, it has nothing to do with elus. And not fucking, but fucking. The end of -er is the equivalent of our "-sky" (Wien - Wiener, Fucking - Fuckinger).
</nerdmode>

Not exactly fucking. The Germans are not stupid and understand that if you write according to the rules, the profit will be lower. What is typical, it is easily checked by Google, but you need to "knowledge" to demonstrate faster, not time to check.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147893
 05.01.2018
During a thunderstorm, lightning most often hits a tree standing alone.
The proximity of the reservoir creates an additional hazard factor.
Gold is one of the best conductors.
Question: Why did Pushkin so dislike his scientist cat?! to

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147892
 05.01.2018
Men do not have the biological ability to distinguish their children from their own.

Yes, women do not have such a “biological” capability. Or do you think she instinctively, on a genetic level, feels what kind of baby she is?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147891
 05.01.2018
I was taught that help at home and obedience are my natural duties by default, and I have nothing to do with it. But for the failure, I rely on Lula.
So I grew up as a quiet and quiet girl and quietly played torture and funeral in my corner.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147890
 05.01.2018
A comrade called and said he owed me 100 rubles, and entering the new year with debts is a bad sign. So he transferred my money to the card. A comrade who owes me 100,000 a long time doesn’t call, apparently he doesn’t believe in signs.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147889
 05.01.2018
I recently watched an article about artificial intelligence. Soon it will be impossible to determine who is in front of you – a human or a robot.
and elementary. If the debt... b is a person

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147888
 05.01.2018
The Blue Fire

Oh, here you are principled, well, and celebrate with the same.
And I love my grandmother, my grandmother from her youth loves Fire, and I didn’t have the time to celebrate with her, without depriving her of her favorite program.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147887
 05.01.2018
xxx: when you already understand and accept that the babies of the dope are complicated and you need to treat them very carefully, some fool takes and gives you a penny in the woods.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147886
 05.01.2018
Commentary on Titanium
Do not pay attention to those who write "what shit have I just seen?". They say the same when they look in the mirror.

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