Today in the show "Smell" that terribly useful prepared E. Malysheva, so at the end of the show the host and says that the Mexicans besides corn, something and tequila no longer know anything.
To what E. Malysheva is so thoughtful and answers: "Yes-a-a, tequila is a thing..." - the hall broke up ;)

The reflex worked.
I go to the metro. At one of the stations, a conductor enters the car with a full parade. No, it is clear to the fool that I just forgot to take off my jacket... It is clear, but the instincts... The instincts don’t sleep. Half-vagon nervously began to look for a ticket, and the man five jumped out on the perron and stand, glad that they escaped from the conductor... The doors are closed, and wildly from the wagon to them comes that they did something wrong))))

From Habr:
xxx: I am not an odmin, I make money from programming, but I have done a lot at home, a stand for servers. I do a repair so that the power wiring can still be controlled :) There is a "dream" to learn how to write drivers to USB, to set up devices and manage them via USB :) In general, I don't have a girlfriend.

Without love the birds die.
Without love, the fish die.
Only people live long.
Because they have hands.

I saw a pair of garbage bags for separate collection: there is one package in it, but above a three-sector cover.

If you forget to boil the potatoes for an hour, it starts to dress up (((

The best way to remember a wedding is to take a loan.

I read a story about the logic of blondes, explained by a psychologist.
by 23.09.
For many years, I have offered men a simple test of cleverness: a beloved woman walks in circles and breathes that her girlfriend has bought Ophigenic boots. What does she (the beloved woman) want?
And almost all the men on the autopilot say she wants him
I bought her the same shoes. Who are they after that? Why her
The same shoes? To walk with a girlfriend the same as two incubator chickens? Or to crack? How can men buy women’s shoes? Do they know the size? Do they remember the model? Do you know where it is cheaper?
Only my husband (then still a future) breathed and said:
She wants to get money for new shoes.
He breathed even worse and added:
More expensive than my girlfriend.
The genius, of course.

How many sexual partners did you have?
and three. And no, there are nine! I remembered another case.

Ross is a strange boy. I remember asking my mother about the hemispheres of the brain when I was twelve, and what would happen if you put a sword in your head so that it would pass between the hemispheres - would a person die?
My parents forbade me to go to medicine.

xxx: I suggest you move to the capital =)
YYY: Nafignada, its pederasts are enough =)
xxx: then the second capital =)
Yyyy: there are crazy ones too =)

xxx: And I needed a programmer on Access here. It’s hard work, everyone refuses. Today came such a healthy two-meter uncle with a curved nose and a tough pimple. I ask him in the meantime – and who are you working for? The reanimator says. And access is just for pleasure writing, it’s my hobby.

YYY: In the Exodus? A resuscitator? Everything is logical. Who else will take this monster in 2011?

XHH: Give up, the customers sent a courier for antivirus. And this courier has no name to give or take – Trojansky.
A warrior was sent to death.)

When buying 3x Bugatti car salon as a gift!

From a movie about fighting without rules:
American: I am from a country where even shit is not given in vain.
I am from a country where everything is free, but everything is shit.

The Tajiks... painted the batteries along with the cigarette ashes that lay between the battery plates - generally beautiful...

This is what. We painted the bowl, along with the bulls, standing on the window between the floors - this is the installation!

OddyRash

I don't remember how it happened, but about a year ago, they wrote that during sex the guy said "and suddenly the twin will be" and the girl at this moment sneezed. The boy promised to write off the account who was born. So we wait)

Yesterday I read in the subway "Madame Bovary". She was suspicious and printed all the letters that came to her husband for a long time and thought - where did the 19th century printer come from??? I have survived, right?

xxx 21:12:50
He went to work, and then cooked all night, killed himself, repaired the crane.

yyy 21:13:34
You are the perfect husband.)

yyy 21:29:50
Oh well, I was scared.

I went to the Bootovo plateau, sat on a bench - on the other edge are two young Azerbaijanis sitting (to my disgrace). They said, I sat down and kept silent. I feel they are watching. What to watch? Not the naked sky: a sweater, a sweater under the throat, a jacket stretched, a long shirt, boots with a hoodie.
I see, I hear:

“Sister, you’re sorry, you have a cloth, your hair is visible.

Noah, I couldn’t stand up. I turn with the sweetest smile and from the main caliber:

My brothers, what do you know about our Lord Jehovah?

Unfortunately, how long a bad scene could last, I never knew, because in thirty seconds, an electric flash appeared.