You know, I’ll be able to work with only three things:
hatred of white shirts, dirty speech, and the ability to turn off the alarm without waking up.

Passazhir: The judge at the hearing called for order for so long that he struck the shaker.

The instructions and the passport read, it is written: do not put in your mouth pieces of ice just taken out of the freezer, as you risk getting local freezing.

Oh well ?

Fuck, I will try it.

Oh well ?

The next day:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Tagged: mrrr
xxx: * gives a spoonful of viscose*
I don't like chemistry
Give me fish
XXX: Giving a Prayer

How did the deer go out of the same shit from two faces!!..

About how the driver of the governor of the Kaliningrad region was fired, who drove Boos (the previous province) for 5 years, and then Tsukanov (the current) for 1 year. In fact, he carried a tsukana and ran into a pit.
The governor asks, what is it?
Drivers have to do the road.
That is how they were fired.

If you want to be floating, do not hold the stones behind the sinuses.

Claustrophobia
He himself is small in growth, thin, in the ears golden sores, on the head baldness, which is impressively framed and emphasized by the fire-red hair collected on the back of the head in a rat tail. And also red moustaches, like the telemaster... In one word – not Alain Delon and not even Fernando, but my classmate loves him and she probably more visible. So, if you get used to the uncompromising appearance, the man is sociable and not stupid at all. His name is Ruslan. Today he has his own cozy music store, and in the distant 90s Ruslan went to Moscow every week for a variety of jewelry. Everything happened: he was robbed by menta, then by bandits, and from the train he was behind, and once with cakes on the road he was so miserable that he only got home in a month. Although without money, but alive and with pockets full of recipes...
But more than anyone else, I fell in love with one of his stories, in which the twisted mind of a small unprofitable man crushed the bowls with a stupid, rough force.
The train “Lviv – Moscow”.
It was lucky for Ruslan to drive in the same coupe with a brigade of cut off freezers. Three pumped puzzles in sports costumes are the same on the face - as you want, so put out. Naturally, the "passenger" in eyebrows and with a red blade did not immediately like them, but was very interested in the fact that he never broke up with a large belt bag. And they were right – there was money and a lot. Thro the day, the brigade was spinning into the cards, smoking his non-smoking neighbor.
Ruslan suffered, but he never decided to make a comment. Apparently, they were just waiting for at least a spoon from his perron...
Sometimes the fighters went on to whisper and even wrote each other spacious letters with the following comments such as:
If you do, you can not go to Moscow at all.
It must run...
Ruslan, depicting a dream, saddened on the upper shelf, he felt that it was about him and not even about him, but about his delicious belt bag.
What to do? Ask the driver for another place? But the car was blocked until rejection. Trying to go with someone? What will he tell them? “Could you change places with me? There I have a gorgeous upper shelf in a procured coupe and three rods, with broken noses and filled fists.
By how naïve they behaved with people in the hallway, and he was not even said a rude word, it was clear that the "hop-stop" was planned for later. closer to night.
Go out to the corridor and sit there on a penny is not an option, firstly, their rabbits are already sitting there, and secondly, you will not sit out all night. Time works against him, and nothing clever comes to mind.
Ruslan began to remember that he had such a weapon? There is no knife, but there is a gun. Large, black, metal firearm pistol, Ruslan carried it just for such cases, but one thing to "carry" and another - to try to scare someone... If in the darkness on the street, everywhere went, and here in twenty centimeters from criminal mords, and even in bright light, you will immediately notice a spicy detail that there is no hole in the trunk. If there were a hole, how would it be?
Take off the goat bag!
Oh yeah! You are the goats! Hands up, you are all arrested!! to
A complete lie... Even thinking about it is unpleasant. Without money, but with a gun in the rectum... no, not an option.
What else is in stock? An old, outdated passport, toothbrush, paste and a thick pack of money. All in all.
The brigade below spoke that we will soon move to Dnieper and suddenly
Roosevelt was shot in the head with a crazy idea. This is either a pan, or you will remain without a penny.
The train flew over the Dnieper, Ruslan suddenly jumped out of the shelf, sharply clogged the door and knocked on the castle. Then he quickly broke his shoe, pulled out his passport from his pocket and thoroughly wiped out with the curtain. The bulls, quietly, watched his every move.
Ruslan then pulled the gun out of the bag and, holding it only with his sleeve, also wiped it with the curtain. Then quickly but firmly wrapped the passport to the pistol, opened the window and threw the "package" exactly to the place where not every bird will fly.
He opened the door, jumped into the corridor and quietly entered back to his upper shelf.
After an imminent pause, the brigade silently left the coupe, five minutes later the confused morrowroots returned, quickly gathered their few things and said:
- Well, we have already arrived, goodbye, happy you way and good luck in
The affairs.

Half an hour later, two girls and a guy looked carefully at the door and said:
Were there three men in that car?
and Ruslan:
Yes, and what then?
- We are from the neighboring placard car, they came and asked us with them.
Changing seats in the coupe, they said they had claustrophobia.

Once decided to get stuck and in the resume, in the graph of positive qualities, wrote - a lack of conscience. Soon I started offering a ta-a-akie job.

XXX: Throw in the clavicle the cockroach went o_o
Q: How did he get there?? to
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: sits at the bottom of the button five))
YYYYYYYYYYYYY))
I need to clean up.)
xxx: or I will press at random on 5 and it will be in the intestines all the key))
xxx: fucking ((((((((((
yyy =))

After the passing of anti-smoking law, it will be cheaper to smoke marijuana

From the ABBYY English Dictionary (AmericanSlang):

Bear is a hairy, thick and aggressive homosexual (the main meaning of the word is "bear"). They have their own clubs, flags and characteristic symbolism. Transmit a great greeting to the main domestic party "Bear" with equally successful symbolism.

This is shit, comrades.

Mom once sent to the pharmacy to buy some medicine with a clever name, which I NATURALLY did not remember quite.I grü her, mol, me here is this medicine.She hits means name in the computer and issues after a while:"you know, on your request nothing was found.Maybe...".more I listened not,slug under the shelf and was named "Cursed programmer".(The drug was bought in another pharmacy with a aunt named Ivanova)

This is K
What should you be if:
- You sit at home - a crap, you walk around clubs - a dumb crapper.
You sit on the bench, you ride the bus, you are poor, you are sitting in a restaurant and you are riding a car, you are a major.

"How I hate all these generalizations. You are not cool.
Cars and apartments - fu loch. And if there is, then the parents bought, and if there is
On credit, on credit. For cash – a major. If you fuck everyone to the left, right.
It is fucking! If not, you are impotent. There’s a girl – a crawler! There is no –
The loser. Studying is botanical. If you don’t learn, break up. It means for
The money! You are not working, Alphonse. You go to work and hear: I too
Job, could I not find something better? You are at home, shit. forever
You do not think, you do not think about the future. He married early, a fool. I married late.
The idiot. I’m not married, I’m a fool... Listen, go on the fuck...!!! andquot;

Remembered

The Birds of Sock: Fuck! I am unreally angry!
The Angry Birds?

San4ez: You think in vain that he is not a thoughtful type, he has contacts in asky by groups scattered... by blood groups...

News on a Kazakh website

"American astronauts are preparing to land on an asteroid"

No, Bruce Willis has not been forgotten.

From the news:
09.07 Moscow Zoo will be removed from the city center
07.53 Medvedev planned a large resettlement of officials

I always laughed at stories when the girl dreamed of a bad dream, and she was offended by her boyfriend for his actions in her dream. I never believed, I thought all of this jokes and jokes, especially when they talked about breaks of couples because of this.
Today my girlfriend dreamed that I slept with her teacher right at the lecture... as it turned out, the people are not joking... :(

[08.09.2011 12:05:06] Alina: paid a min for coffee double victory
[08.09.2011 12:05:14] Smoke:?
[08.09.2011 12:05:25] Alina: Sash is not to you
[08.09.2011 12:05:55] Smoke:...