I didn’t sell 5 of my favorite hematogenics in the pharmacy today. They said, said, the rate of medical leave is not more than 2 pieces in one hand. I had to pick up all kinds of things...
This is so that no one dies from an overdose. After you run away, let us eat hematogeene, so that you know whom you have lost.
I already imagine a note: “Dear, you abandoned me, and I decided to count my life.” And the whole room is filled with paper from hematogens.
WOW: And the morning was a cruel snatch: the dose was not enough to die pathosely... but fuck it, fuck it!! to

Recently, in public transport, I witnessed an interesting dialogue between mother (M) and daughter (D). A girl about 5 years old:

D – Mom, what is “blessing”?

M is when something smells bad.

D - But in this word there is the word "good"... (interesting note from a child 5 years old)

M - The main thing in this word is "smell", meaning something smells very strongly.

A few minutes later, the mother convinced the girl of her vision of the word and they quietly went on.

This is how quickly and easily an adult persuades the child that he is wrong.

The case was in the 90s. I return home from school (primary classes, I was nine years old) and at the door of the apartment a 16-year-old Roma knocks on all doors on the floor. Well, without a back-thinking, I opened my key, and he stood by me. Give, he says, eat a little, or money. Well, I refuse him, I go into the apartment and try to close the door behind me, but he puts his foot in the hole and insists on giving at least something. After my next refusal, he tells me that I should give him water to drink. As I go to the kitchen to collect water, the Gypsy instantly slides into the apartment, runs into the room and through the noise, it is heard that he begins to throw items from the shelves, probably trying to find something valuable. And then the action begins, because a daddy, obviously evil, comes out of the toilet and enters the room. I immediately ran into the room and then the painting with oil: the Gypsies are trying to justify themselves, but the father is clearly wondering what to do. He catches a little Gypsies for barges, like a bag of pears, and quickly headed to the balcony door, with a squeeze, sprinkled him through the open balcony door and walked out to the street, not even looking where he fell. The first floor was well, and under the balcony was grass. But the bat had such an appearance that even if the floor was ninth, it would operate exactly the same scheme. In short, the Gypsies still got, but not exactly what they expected. There were no clashes afterwards and there were no Gypsies. This lesson I remembered for a lifetime, because I knew that if there was no one at home, everything would not be known how it ended. Do not open the door to others and do not allow anyone to enter the apartment, no matter who they are and what they ask.

xxx: I dress now in the store, and I understand that all normal people have yesterday’s clothes hanging on a bike worker, and only we are on a rubber boat with wheels.

YYY: No... I’m in the hustle 😉

I got a new entrance door yesterday. There was a dialogue between me and the master:

Master: Your door was very bad and the locks would break in a minute!

I: And this one?

Master: And this is good, two minutes will think.

And yes, I will remind you of a small rule that everyone knows - do not fall into public toilets. And if it is pressed, they do it on weight, not sitting down.

Another prophet of collective wisdom? I'll uncover a secret: there are paper single-use seats on sale, which are placed on the chair of any toilet. They are then washed with toilet paper without applying hands. Moreover, in some cultural institutions, dispensaries with such seats hang near toilets. Don’t be ashamed if you go into such a situation, "orel".

A girl who writes music. Your problem is solved very simply. Closet at the door. You can also hang a sign "Do not enter, creative process". But you will rather get rid of your husband than his habit of disturbing you. Men are stupid, they are extremely negative to women's attempts to get away from them.

One of my acquaintances once bought a bag of sugar at a very low price. But Pasha did not have a car, and not to get rid of his work, he asked me to take his bag home. No questions, we can help! My husband and I went in and loaded sugar. The happy owner of 50 kilograms of carbohydrates explains where to go, the house number, the extreme entrance, just the second floor:

At home now only the son (8 years old him), his wife urgently to work for a couple of hours called. He will not open the door to you, he is even forbidden to enter the door. He is a clever man, my wife and I severely punished him in our absence not to open to anyone and not even approach the door. He only opens the door by phone if necessary. Go up to the apartment, call me on the phone, I will call home (then there were also wireless phones) and the son will open to you.

and OK!

Take the bag up to the second floor. My companion loudly and persistently knocks at the door. A child’s whisper and a voice from the door: “Who is there? »

Comrade, intentionally with a rough voice: “Who, who? ! to Open the door! and fast! »

I hear the sound of the opened door and...

We bring sugar!

Just a banana

>> Haakonetz-tho got out of the freezone!

You put her on the couch, you sit next to her and listen to all this nonsense for hours?
Congratulations to!

by Kris Simpson:
> BRICS (Brazil, Russia, India, China, South Africa)
Why not a brick?

Because in English...

and sometimes:
A fair doob, by the way.
If from May Hart, then BRICS, if Orthodox, then BRICY.
When the union is so tight that it is even written with an error.

Formal of Ceres: Biryuk

Tibalz: Yuri B.

The Female Logic
You will go to the swimming pool with me and get in shape.
I am: No, Chet Lenivo
M: Well okay, then I will walk alone, lose weight and the girls will hang on me...
I: And then... I will divorce you, then I will suffer and also lose weight!
Oh my God, a woman! Just like in a swimming pool? No is?! to

By the way - and the technique of wrapping wipes is not suitable for wrapping babies? In order not to learn...

:DD will be even more reliable)))

xxx: I have also previously made unfathomable things. over the years, I have been stagnant. I look at others with different looks. many who have known me before and have not seen me for a long time do not know me. talk as if I was born again. I have seen God in a dream. and he has shown me a lot.

yyy: It is a pity that I did not specify where the Caps lock key is.

Between the first and the second... court, divorce and division of property...

At the parking lot in front of the hypermarket, speaking loudly and aggressively with himself, a moderately drunk man, with whom the conversation could not be avoided, moved in circles. However, I try to treat such individuals with understanding, how do I know what his personal tragedy is and why is he exactly such? But the essence of the conversation I try to reduce to "State, you are drunk, you should go home". However, on the question “where do you live?” he thoughtlessly burned out with a confusing tongue “where the offended has a sense of a corner,” after which I hastened to retreat so as not to strain him in the face. Peter is Peter! =) is

XXX: I started to master the piton!
print 'Hello how are you?'
Question = raw_input()
if question==' is normal':
print 'Well and well.'
question = raw_input('What else will you say?')
elif question=='heartlessly':
print 'What is it?'
YYY: Is it serious? Did you first begin to write a prosa that can pour out the soul?
XXX: The Emulator of the Boy.

The option:
The professional deformation

>> Interested in jealousy or no wives. husbands gynecologists?

Well, if they were smart, they probably did not know for whom they came out.
What else is interesting - what do they (gynecologists) attract?

The bourgeois!

In the family of the born, the wings are ugly.

A familiar dogwoman told: a aunt came to them in the dressing with a pitbull and complained that he said, did not listen and figuratively expressed, sat on his head. (The case is classic, a young family acquires a dog, then for some reason they give it to their parents (in this case to this aunt), well, that’s all.

Cinologist - such a brave tough shepherd ryan took the job. Pitbull instantly passed through the chip, played out the most unfortunate dog, hid for the mistress and almost cried. Aunt stumbled on the filmologist in the style of "this is not a soldier for you and here is not an army mustra", "my legs will not be here anymore" and left, pulling a pupil behind her. The acquaintance says that this cunning dog's ass flogged for the mistress, looked at the trainer with disgust, smiling into the whole pitbull and barely showed him a "fake".

A usual lesson of Russian, the teacher explains to the children the rule of "Zhi-shi write with the letter and", all would be nothing, but her name is Shyntasova Shinar Shingisovna from the city of Shymkent, Zhylybaysky district.