bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148845
 06.02.2018
I sincerely regret the fashioners who have to read all this wild in search of a grain of humor.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148844
 06.02.2018
Speak the truth

“It is necessary to struggle with excess weight,” I said to myself at three o’clock at night, holding a butter in one hand, in the other a stick of doctor’s sausage, brewing tea from the teak.

If both hands are occupied, then it is not a claw, but a lace.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148843
 06.02.2018
> and could not the developer before the release himself try to install his software and remove the incompatibilities?

He put it, yes.
With myself. On the same compass where he coded.
And, what is surprising - no incompatibilities, neither in iron nor soft ))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148842
 06.02.2018
Yesterday they gave snow for December, today for January... I hope that the winter will not repay the debt for last year.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148841
 06.02.2018
The Automechanic

>> Guru_Picapa

It will be right - GUR at "pickup".
You fucking write something.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №148840
 06.02.2018
That’s why the proportion of women in science is four times smaller. You claim to be a scientist, that is, you can count. If at first they were allegedly equal, but became four times smaller, it turns out that 75% were cut off due to copee's ignorance. Here are the men who stood up to all this "Nahui you this botanism", "you don't want to work normally like everyone", and the women immediately merged, ah.

The man. You were given an example. Example of the pressure that women have in addition (not to mention instead) to what men have. This is the only example, not a complete description of the situation. For example, you can read children’s books. My daughter, who loved black, metal and designers, after she went to school, began to love pink, doll and paint her lips. Because the role models, yes. Because the children are confident - I was in general, at her age, taught Lenin to love in this way. And they are now broadcast that the girls are gentle, quiet and economical, love to cook cakes, and not to mess with the iron. And so all the way. Someone is breaking through all this mud, yes. Someone is bound.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148839
 06.02.2018
There is more to see on the beach! Men's third-size breasts, pregnant stomachs, curved legs, fatty paths... You give the oppression of men by the sign of weight! Gibraltar is fighting! A man should keep an eye on himself and always be fucking!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148838
 06.02.2018
Synthesis is harmful to the skin. Ask a dermatologist.

Any dermatologist who graduated 50 years ago? Modern synthetics are very even OK: durable, hypoallergenic, comfortable and sweat spots are not as noticeable as on cotton. And during the run, it will not do anything to your skin, it is not radioactive after all.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148837
 06.02.2018
Xenius: > It’s like a fox grows. They do not graze themselves, but simply go into the hole to the enot and start hurting there. Enot is a very pure animal, it is unpleasant to him and he falls out of his own hole.
Xenius: TwinkleFox: Is it true?
TwinkleFox: Xenius, it’s not you stumbling. The housing issue is resolved.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148836
 06.02.2018
The story is not mine, it happened to my colleague (a very nice and understanding woman), let’s call her E.T.

Once a company of walkers came to her for consultation, they needed to do labs (physics). A colleague gave them a task, equipment, went between the tables, explained exactly what to do and went to the room.

A minute after ten came out, looks, all students are busy (who gathers the chain, who torments the pendulum, who turns the prisma - depending on the missed lab). Except for one. He rides on a chair with a sad look and breathes hard. E.T. approached him and asked, “Why don’t you do anything? He replied, “I need to count, but I don’t have a calculator.” E. T. offers him to count in a column, passes checking the work of the others and returns to the back.

Ten minutes later, she goes out again and sees that nothing has changed. He goes back to the student and again asks, “Why don’t you do anything? “” She receives a response from which she shakes for a few more weeks (laughing): "- E. T., and how to count? You did not give me a pile!”

P.S. He did not learn from us, was deducted for failure. He will live in my hearts forever XD

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148835
 06.02.2018


The male body is not very sexy, but the female is always sexy and attractive.

Thank you for a good word!
(Baba Mania, 70 years old, 120 kg)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148834
 06.02.2018
Since people are studying genetics not from a school textbook, but from spiders, they will also be afraid of GMOs and genetic engineering.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148833
 06.02.2018
Whoever you love, you will eventually have to clean up after him.
Are you about whom?
Well, there, the dog, the cat, the poppy, the fish, the children, finally.
The vodka! Don’t clean the vodka!
Depends on how much you drink.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №148832
 06.02.2018
The more aircraft carriers, the better democracy.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148831
 06.02.2018
A friend told me. They lived in an apartment with a Jewish family. He was a witness to such a story. An old Jew was sitting in the yard on a bench. His little grandson was playing with the machine. The old man picked up the rusted wire from the ground and sat and turned it in his hands. My grandson was interested in the discovery. He came and said, “Dad, give me.” The old man said he just won't give it, but he could change to a machine. My grandson was happy to change. A few minutes later, he got bored of the wire and went to his grandfather to change back. The old man did not change, despite the cry of the child. Neighbors approached the old man, tried to pressure him to return the machine and stop this nonsense. The old man told them, “Don’t stop raising a child.” He never returned the car to him. They teach children to start thinking from an early age.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148830
 06.02.2018
Producers of sausages, having learned that the Russians determine the quality of sausages on cats, began to add mice there.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148829
 06.02.2018
Thanks to Vovochka, who did not learn a lesson in history and was summoned to the board, Churchill was first included in the number of Decembrists, and then hanged. That’s what he needs, the damned Russofob.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148828
 06.02.2018
Where successful managers from all kinds of networking "buti-companies" are asked for friends in VK or OK, I take them with pleasure, because I am really interested in untouched moments...

1st How long have you been in the name of the company?
2nd What is the growth of VAC over the past year and what plugs have you received for this?
Three Have you formed an IP?
4 is Do you get earned on your hands?
5 is Do you pay money to the Pension Fund and the OMS?
6 is Or are you just using product discounts?
7 is Does your family get profits from your activities?
8 is Does the income outweigh the cost of the product?

At least one answered to the end... Ten out of ten merges... And a couple of questions only... On the third one merges... But I’m not the idiot I asked, right? Ecli “new business” mute – is there a prospect to feel?


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148827
 06.02.2018
My mother told.
When I was 3-4 years old, my father worked as a mechanic at the airport. He was visited by a pilot dressed in uniform. As a child, of course, I admired the ego’s appearance, approached him, raised my head and said:
Wherever I grow up, I will be a German.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №148826
 06.02.2018
- "It goes like oil" does not always mean good. The writer Berlioz would confirm it.

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