bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147665
 27.12.2017
My five copies.

Does anyone remember the bearded toast about the people who were on the same ship?

And I offer a drink not for health and wealth, but for luck.
Because there were many young, healthy, smart, rich and successful people on the Titanic.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147664
 27.12.2017
# housekeepers

== "the artist working at home" is not a job, but a ballerina. You are unemployed. Do not ever stumble.

Tolstoy came in. Although the initial post is also provocative - freelancing has long been not uncommon, and what friends are such that are not aware of the realities of homework or at least a free schedule...

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147663
 27.12.2017
Here I watch all these New Year’s films about alternative Russia, where the heroes fifteen minutes before the battle of the curants put and decorate the tree, straighten the olive tree, run to the store for the butter and green peas, ask for hands and hearts from loved ones, perform fairy stupid feats and fall to sleep in other people’s beds... and I suffer with the question: How? How can you forget to buy a bucket for the New Year? Where is Russia?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147662
 27.12.2017
What about unequal starting conditions?

Ambedkar Bhim Rao Ramji - from the untouchable caste (1891-1956) - a prominent politician. and religion. He was a famous reformer and critic of Hinduism. He showed himself as an outstanding journalist, publisher, legislator. Member of the council under the Vice-King, Minister of Labor, Minister of Justice. As chairman of the Committee on the Creation of the Constitution of India and author of many articles of this document, A. achieved a legislative ban on inviolability and caste discrimination.
He told terrible stories about his school days: how he had to sit outside the classroom,
separated from other children, or as when he drank, he was ordered to throw off his head and open his mouth so that he could pour water without touching the bottle of his lips. Higher Classes of State Schools
He had no friends, and his teachers ignored him. He plunged into
I read books and studied hard. At the age of 17, the young Ambedkar became the first untouchable person to graduate from the Higher State School in Bombay.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147661
 27.12.2017
I am in a good mood:

You are so nice, so wonderful, so clever.

My husband is melancholy:

You are smarter.

I am :

Why this?

The husband:

You sit at home and I work.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147660
 26.12.2017
From the same opera, we had a pseudo server on freebsd 5, in general he was bad sometimes, hanged on the kernel panic and did not reboot himself until you press any button on the keyboard. In general, we put the keyboard vertically on the scotch, on the second server a script was rolled which, in the absence of the ping of the server freibsd, went out with a sidecar and beat the keyboard sending the server to reboot. This pseudo-server's internal script has somehow changed, we come to the server and look and we cry - one server scrolls with the other keyboard, right into the Enter button, and he answers: "Ligin incorrect." The revolt of cars, fucking.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147659
 26.12.2017
News
Irina Shayk appeared completely naked for advertising
Read more in detail

I’m excited to read about it????? to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №147658
 26.12.2017
It is about Armand Hammer. In 1921, during one of the meetings with Lenin, he complained that, he said, it was difficult to get to him - a reception, full of visitors, stubborn secretaries... Then Ilyich wrote a note: "The speaker of this Armand Hammmer to be allowed to come to me at any time without a turn." It was written "Ulyanov-Lenin"
In the 70s, Hammer frequently visited Moscow and once wanted to visit the mausoleum, visit an old acquaintance. I tried to go without a line. Police officers and undetectable citizens in dark jackets came to him. Comrades, they say, go in line. Everything is smiling here. And he has that note from the 20s under his nose. Comrades of the state were only embarrassed to divide their hands, and the militiamen to take under the stake.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147657
 26.12.2017
Chief of the Guards of the Supreme Office of Magic and Wizardry.

and MDAAA. The Russian specifics could also be taken into account.

Head of the Federal Service for Control and Supervision in the Sphere of Magic, Wizardry, Wizardry and Anti-Satanism of the Russian Federation was a state adviser of the first class.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147656
 26.12.2017
#Uryupinsk

It is simple: named after urupine - a substance obtained from urup. Urup is a species of lichen, very rare in nature, but at the time in this area was in abundance. Hence the name of the city and then the city.
Tea from dried uryup crout nipadetsky, as you can understand from this text...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147655
 26.12.2017
xxx: As a child, I had a hand-held rat in my baggage compartment (parents didn't like rats, and I really wanted a rat). My mother found her two months later. This is the level of trust. Well, by this point in the room was bitten all the furniture, some scissors, carpet and even some documents. They said fuck with you and bought a cage.)

YYY: They were very harsh with you. Where is the rat?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147654
 26.12.2017
xxx> You would at least make a website for the new year
xxx> very good
yyy> Well if it’s just bad, then we’ll definitely do it...

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №147653
 26.12.2017
Here are five! There are brains, clean toilets.
And we’re all sitting so wise... And figured with him that the toilets are fucked up.
I think many experts are. Until the mum comes and cleans. He will prepare food and wash the cowards.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147652
 26.12.2017
When she was young and resounding, she began to build a successful career, she also thought that whoever doesn’t move his ass is the loser and himself is to blame for everything. And then rage and clinical depression. Yes, such that the strongest blood pressure was only enough to hardly leave the house in the morning, sit down with vegetables in the office, then come home, chew something and go back to bed. How I was not fired, I don’t know, apparently, for past merits. What a career, what ambitions, would live and not be stupid. After getting out of this hell, she became much less categorical. I advise you. You do not know what a person you have already called a lazy has gone through or is going through.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147651
 26.12.2017
Zzzz: Fuck how I am stunned by these smokers...
zzz: As they approach the crowd at the stop and start smoking it, that’s normal. And when you rebel against them, their rebelliousness is not limited.
YYY: Let’s relax, they’re just afraid to explode))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147650
 26.12.2017
Directly about me)

Why do bags appear under the eyes after sleepless nights?

Because your unseen dreams are carefully placed in special bags so that you can see them later.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №147649
 26.12.2017
I am in Europe, namely, I am studying in Vienna for an exchange semester. My friend, also from Russia, is a Chinese neighbor. We take it with us on all sits, walks and so on. Let us start with the fact that this representative of heaven, like most of his compatriots, are not resistant to alcohol, also in addition to their national food, are not ready to eat anything in particular. Well, after three months of communication with me and my friend, this guy could already drink not one glass of wine, but almost a bottle, began to eat the food that is inherent to us, saw snow in the mountains (we pulled him there) and much more. But the apogee was when he, after a feast lasting a whole day, where we were hugged, came to me in a communal, asked my friend to cook him pellet... with mayonnaise... He said that he missed something all day, and could not understand what. After that, we understood that it was now part of the Russian, and he would not become the former Chinese.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147648
 26.12.2017
I asked my daughter:
“My daughter, here I am invited to date by an interesting young man with a very nice voice. And I am completely in doubt.
The daughter says:
And what doubts?
Well, little about anything. Going out at night with a stranger in his car is a bit lighthearted, don’t you find it?
We sit and think.
Okay, I say, you can go with my car.
Yes, says the daughter. If so, I will call the police.
xxx and here
xxx: My turbulent fantasy began to suggest options for dialogue with the police
My mother took a stranger into the woods.
Yes, he is a police officer.
YYY: History of PPC
I still laugh.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147647
 26.12.2017
Patriarch Kirill blessed the installation of a lifetime monument to himself. I look forward to seeing him start giving himself up for life.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №147646
 26.12.2017
When I was a child, I wanted to know if Santa existed or not. I think it is all. This is usually done by method:

Okay, say it and...

But I went further at my eight years. My plan was simple: to write out all of my letter to Santa Claus with select mattresses and thus find out if his parents are reading.

My burning ass made it clear that the message was carefully read by the parents, and Santa Claus, therefore, does not exist.

At the age of eight I became a man.

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