bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146665
 21.11.2017
(Paris Hilton that it was she who invented a selfie) - She doesn't know that the first was the Wolf of Nowhere!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146664
 21.11.2017
And at night I like to bump a couple of packs of width - to sleep so better.

to warm! Tell me, how do you sleep with the teeth? What is "Working "?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №146663
 21.11.2017
The Working

It does not reach the people. If you want a prospective professional - seduce and motivate. The school holidays are over, the professional remains.
You want a slave for a minimum - don't be surprised that he breaks and gives up without leave, but for bribery.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146662
 21.11.2017
by NaKlein
No sticker, sign or other method of providing information, not approved by the official PDD, is a determining factor for special attitude on the road. The point.
No state, no causes and peculiarities of the situation can interpret the position of the driver of a car with a child as having the right to an individual model of behavior that goes against the PDD (and creating interference with the movement of the car, no matter how steep, is a violation). Again the point.
There are certain categories of drivers that mark their vehicles (beginners, disabled drivers and their carriers, as well as deaf drivers). But this is an indication of REALLY ONLY an unsolved problem, as a sign of an emergency stop, not a requirement for a special attitude. And they wasted. Tomorrow, I, a completely non-drinker, will hang the label "Don't Dude, I'm out of a hammer" and will behave accordingly. Would you like? So I think you would go home with your shortcomings and suffering.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146661
 21.11.2017
Watched a video in which a woman shows her lists of things for the day, week, month, year and so on. I was somehow afraid of the enormous amount of work that a person does with an unobtrusive purpose... So say, do you do something like that?
No, I only write a list of foods in the supermarket, and then, standing on the passage with a cart, I boredly try to guess what is CHAPIN, SAGAT, BLACK PERS and PODOSHVA.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146660
 21.11.2017
I regularly buy on the RZD website tickets from St. Petersburg to the small homeland.
Now the RZD has a cynical action - a special price for selected placard seats: the upper side seat at the toilet costs symbolic 666 rubles.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146659
 21.11.2017
Alexey Shlykov: I would like the letter Y to be present in the name
Evgeny Gamza: The Beauty of Form. Perfection of functions. Y is.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146658
 21.11.2017
Is there anything that does not need to remove cats from trees? Any cat can freely descend on its own.

Theoretically it can. But successfully, this does not happen to everyone, mostly only in those who grew up on the street, whom mothers in childhood taught to descend. Cat skeletons on trees - HAPPEN, although rarely, when the cat failed to fall on the underlying suck and died right there. How many fall to the ground, slumber and die in the basements, we will never know. So either teach your cat to climb before it gets stuck on a tree, or call an emergency call. Yes for money. Yes, they will go to this challenge only if they want and only when there is no need to save people. And at any time they will leave if their emergency help is needed by people. So don’t have to hysterize that "because of your cat people are dying". This does not really happen.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146657
 21.11.2017
At the previous place of work was issued by the organization VTB24 card. Since the job changed and I no longer need this map, I decided to close it. It turned out that there was still money in the amount of 76, 16 rubles. A little bit, but still. And here it is shit! I am the employee of the bank.

C - You have 76, 16 rubles on the card. You can remove them, but in ten working days (that is, in two weeks! You can donate to the development fund of the bank right now and immediately close the card.

What is the reason for the ten working days? ! to

C - This is the procedure for receiving the balance of funds when the card is closed.

I - Okay, so let's take the money out of the box first, and then we'll close it.

C - You will get a higher percentage, you have a small amount.

I am not true.

And I went to the box, took out my 76, 16 without any commissions there and immediately closed the card. What are they paid for?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146656
 21.11.2017
And all these talk about health benefits is a shit in favor of the poor. Because if it were done for health, people would be sterilized first.

For people, I have developed contraceptives, abortions, and there is a whole science of oncology that fights the same breast cancer and prostate cancer. People have long been engaged in sex without conception and are successfully treated for cancer. And the animals have to either wear off the body, age prematurely and die from constant hives, pregnancies, childbirth, or catch hormonal failures and various diseases from unproductive flows and unrealized sexual hunting.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №146655
 21.11.2017
They wear swimsuits and swimsuits on the beach. You will be driven out of the coward.

Seriously what? If I put on simple single-tone nylon trousers and a swimsuit and come to the beach, you will not notice the difference even if you look carefully. This is the same if you take fast-drying fabrics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146654
 21.11.2017
I am standing in a sorting room at the TC, at the Pisssuara, I do business. The neighbor has a grandfather, too. Suddenly a powerful curtain is delivered from the cabin, the grandfather immediately gives out: "How embarrassing!"
From the cabin rust and voice: "Man, we are in the bathroom at all..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146653
 21.11.2017
Don’t go now

> One after another,

In principle, it is clear that it is a mistake.
But it is the Great World Then that will destroy the world!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146652
 21.11.2017
It is not necessary to live well, it is enough to think so.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146651
 21.11.2017
In 2000, when I became a military retired, I decided to do business. Started with real estate. There were no special difficulties. But it was crazyly interesting – I went to work, really, like a holiday, everything was easy, the soul rejoiced at the consciousness of what I was...., well you understood. In parallel, he was involved in politics, several years was an assistant deputy of the State. Dumas, solving virtually any issues, was always surrounded by people, grateful and those who still had to disrupt me for a favor or money, and become in the order of "thankful". His first business anniversary, 10 years, was celebrated with a pump. I invited all my comrades, and there were a lot of them, and there were five among them, whom I considered to be close. Of these five, two were in the king's service. One director of the city building, the second deputy. the mayor (I write not for the ponts, but to understand the situation at the end of the story), the other three are entrepreneurs, and not very small. Communication with us was at the level of "I everywhere": they are not interested in fishing without me, in the sauna only with me, about Birthdays, washing shopping, sitting in the coffee shop - I am generally silent. And quite a cool relationship with the "best friend" Igor - every Friday in the countryside he cut a lamb, called 3-4 neighbors, cooked hollow, roasted strawberries. And he must have called, and every time he stressed that he would not touch the food if I didn’t come. Of course, I appreciated that attitude and thought I was lucky with my friends.
In 2011, a new phase of my life began, and I was deceived and hijacked. The nuances here are not appropriate, an important outcome is a criminal case, subscription for non-exit, arrest of accounts, suspension of enterprises. And the most outrageous thing is that in the first days was removed from office. The Dep. The Gd. The investigation lasted eight months. Waiting for time to end is another thing. But in any case, the honest name was returned, apologies were brought. All this time, employees were not paid a salary, the debt for renting premises was astronomical, customers were stretched by competitors. In the summer of 2012, I was jealous of the poor, because he was just a poor man, nothing owed to anyone, and I was a poor man with a lot of debt. My family was saved at the time. The son, 16, did not go to the 10th class to study, but went to work as a waitress, his wife sold chats, I spent a month digging worms in rubbish and garbage holes and handing them over to fishing stores, there were thousands and fifteen out of them. But it was clear that we would not last long. Then I went to “Friends.” No, I didn’t ask for money, I asked for one thing – to take it to my company as a driver, or as a guard, a guard, a carrier, by the way, just to last a few months until I recover from depression. How the conversations with them ended: the director of the factory reoriented me the next day and disappeared, at all, did not respond to my calls and did not call; Igor replied: "Well, you understand... » I said, I understand, and I left. In short, no one, no one helped.
But I got out, slowly, taking a lot of risk, especially when they sold the apartment, and then the house, so there was something to turn around. Now I am not only well, but even better than I was. In 2016, they bought an apartment, and in February of this year bought back a country house, though, overpaid 20 percent, but already very much wanted it. To his wife bought a car, his son continued his studies, every year he rests at sea in the Zagorje.
A month ago, he sent a SMS to fifteen people (“friends”) with an invitation to his DR (Jubileum). Four have come. Coupleed in the bath, sat down at the table, poured. The first toast from me: "Today I have a birthday, but I have prepared gifts for you (delivered to everyone on an expensive set - everything for a shave, column). Dear friends! I have invited you as a sign of special gratitude to you for the fact that thanks to you I have everything you see: home, firm, etc. Thank you for refusing my help and participation in difficult times, for being the most genuine gangsters, because if someone took me to you as a carrier or a carrier, I might not have become so stressed, and I would have territory on someone's enterprise so far. Let's drink friends for it, no matter how difficult, no one has ever come to help you, because only in the big ass, a person reveals all the hidden reserves and possibilities.
The covered table remained almost untouched, somehow everyone formed affairs and within an hour the guests departed. Maybe they didn’t like something, I don’t know, but my toast was very and very sincere, really.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146650
 21.11.2017
In Moscow City, Rosgvardians who guarded the criminal authority shot police officers who guarded the restaurant of another criminal authority. The gunmen escaped in a Maybach car. One of the officers lost a gun.
This is all you need to know about the police reform.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146649
 21.11.2017
And suddenly you are a lonely fat girl with eight cats without a personal sex life.

Do you have a public sex life? A universal assexual? Homosexual people? Collective and Emotional?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146648
 21.11.2017
Personally, I have not seen any untouched windows on the first floors.

What if I look from the side?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146647
 21.11.2017
I’m 99% sure that the author is a fat troll, but one question arose, since I haven’t lived in Russia for 10 years. Is it true that in the presence of your children you can not walk in cowards?

No, thank God, nudists have not yet come to power. You can safely wear trousers at home and even in the pool/on the beach.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146646
 21.11.2017
You take a child in the bus on your hands - "no obligation to give in, buy a car and drive!"
You drive in a wheelchair - "where in the bus stopped, buy a car and drive!"
You drive a car with the sign - "I didn't sleep out - drive on the OT".

You would have decided, gentlemen, or admitted that by default any mother with a child is annoying to you.

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