A man is always happy about marriage.

The former mistress.

A distinct difference in mentality. Russians vs Chinese

In our town, next to one of the district tax offices, there was a small tabernacle with all kinds of nonsense, like cigarettes, chocolate, beer.

Since there are no other shops next to this tax (it is in the shelter, there are some inspections, some offices for long-distance drivers), it is apparent that people often asked in the store if they do not have xerox, or where there is xerox nearby. In this regard, the advertisement first appeared on the lark: "There is no Xerox,"

“There is no Xerox!”

There is no Xerox!! We do not know where it is.”

There is no Xerox and it has never been!!! The question “Where are you?” We do not respond.”

Then "the penalty for the question about Xerox 10 000 r."

So it lasted three months, observing the evolution of these ads in the morning while he went to work.

Then a Chinese buyer bought it.

And the next day he put a bad Xerox.

And a week later I put a large colored xerox.

And now (approximately six months have passed) there is a small center of digital services, xerox, printer, scanner, instant photo, e-mail services, website-sub-key (!) The simplest snack. The Chinese make a hairdresser.

And he is already coming to work on a used Cayenne.

It was decided to hand Mutko into the hands of pure Russian athletes, removed from the Olympics, for the preparation of Vitaly Leontievich for the Paralympics.

Coins and not only

Per the guy had travelled the Kun and the Manula (like these cats were terrified).
In general, much depends on the owner of the animal - this time. And from other people, they are two.
The cat,, the children of the owners asked so that the harsh childhood phobia had already begun.
If you do not understand that pulling your hands to a strange cat / dog without demand is a risky occupation, then you are yourself a wicked buratine.
If you educate your children that animals are toys that have no feelings, no mood, no desires, no pain, then shoot yourself. Animals are not to blame for your kids tormenting them, they are just protecting themselves from them.

Yes, pets are an increased responsibility to society. But the same as the increased responsibility to society is your children. You are responsible for their behavior and upbringing.

So stop blaming the animals and their owners: everyone is to blame.

I did not shrink, I was shrinking. Respect my name!

<DEG#> If the truth comes out, it’s not very good.

Wut: - I came up with entertainment for the next Halloween: the radio-controlled machine is squeezed under the child's car with wheels up and at night it is periodically turned off from the control, causing the car suddenly to rotate to the joy of the lonely passers.

by Kun
A huge Maine Coon cat, brutal and vicious, contrary to assurances, first terrorizes the owners.
– is
The Maine Coon is not a dog. In principle, it is impossible to bring him to a vicious and brutal state. Stories of the same "done the dog to the fool" are full, it always ends badly.

Did you know that in the women’s toilet of the IKEA store there is a machine with condoms? andquot;

Why men don’t, that’s the question.
Yyy: Because they are filled with water and thrown away

Curiousman: The problem is this: the automatic update of Windows 10 suddenly stumbled on Dell Storage Manager Driver, writes that the update is incompatible with it and asks to remove it manually.So I can't find this Dell Storage Manager Driver anywhere. Where does it hide and how to remove it?

IA: Better tell me how to put it. This is the dream of millions – a really working way to refuse updates.

I just arrived today from a long trip. We haven’t seen you for almost a year. How much water has leaked since then... Bl... you are a Chinese crane in the kitchen...

> The next Monday at work exactly these same people lively discussed,
What loans will they take to celebrate the New Year?

This is a special kind of fool. I have never met such people.
That people are so in debt...

We are standing near the injury, waiting for our hockey player, bringing a woman. We ask what is there? I said my husband struck. A fracture of the nose, something with facial bones and so on. We think, well, the beast of the fox.
A man comes, well, a big one, asks like a wife, runs there and there, worries. We have him, well, you and the goat, can you write the puddle straight out? He said, not as it was. I go home, it is dark in the entrance, I think that the dams have been turned for the shit, someone is jumping out because of the turn and sparkle, I speak on reflexes, Ms. Mc on boxing and fucking. Who knew that this woman saw him around the corner of the house and decided to scare him. A guy under 100 kg, MS MC in boxing... Scare, Karl! Pizzas, what is in her head?

I warm up the car, a girl with a big puppy passes by, I think I need to make a compliment about her teeth, but at the same time I don’t get to the mouth, I come in, I open the window and ask: “Girl, your dad is not a dentist who works by chance?” She smiles, so I met my wife, her dad was her dentist.

in the universe for lectures. Third pair without interruption.
Iron has a carbon content of more than 3.14%. What, are you tired?
The students: Yes! Yes! Tired of!! to
Steel has a carbon content of less than 3.14%. We continue the lecture...

I will be brief. I walk through the streets of the truck, towards the cover. There is a tinted SUV not of the Moscow region right on the turn, and next to a beautiful girl votes. And the only question: "Lend money for the evacuator, with a return!" At the offer of the trolley before the service she shrugged her face and said ride. Be careful. Offer help, not money, and everything will come to its place.

by Koziar

XXX: Going on a horse
YYY: Making the move of the Gypsies
xxx: * makes a move by dumbels*
WOW: *does move with rollers*
XHH: * makes the course of fifth class on the excursion*

You are sitting in the work toilet. You read. I saw something funny on the phone, wanted to hide. And the sound of the photo on the whole toilet. A colleague in the neighboring cabin rjet mla)

I talk alone with unanimate objects.
I am with the hammer.
I don’t have a hammer.
I do not have that either.

My name is Nicholas. I work in the Czech Republic. A new colleague came to work - Pavel (he is a local). At the end of the day, we had a conversation with him:

Q: Listen, I can’t remember your name, can I call you Ivan?

I : What? Can I call you Václav?

Q: Why Vaclav? This is not my name!

I didn’t even find anything to answer.