Conversation between the driver and the driver:
I did not notice that there was that sign.
What do you think I’m a pizzaboll? You can go and see if this sign is there.
I did not want to hurt you in any way. The driver said scared. That would be Article 245.
Haishnik picked up and released the driver for the first time. And when he came home, he doubted and decided to check what article 245 was. It turned out to be cruel treatment of animals.

It was in school years. I, as a responsible person, from first to third grade inclusive, was all irresponsibly in love with only one classmate Anya. We had no friendship with her, because tender feelings, I repeat, were only on my part. But all my relatives, including my grandmothers, grandparents, uncles and uncles, were aware of this dependence for some reason.



But the time goes by, the years go by, and somewhere in the area of the end of the fourth - the beginning of the fifth grade my interests shifted to another girl. And here it was all a bit more successful, there were joint walks, movies, ice cream. Then after a year or two kissed, I remember :)

And here we go somehow with her to the movie, and suddenly the grandmother's sister hits me (I am her granddaughter's nephew).

Well, aunt so nice and sociable was always, hello grandchildren, says, how do you work, where are you going? And I have a straight heart in my heels, because I already knew what she would ask now, and how to prevent this question quickly to come up with did not have time. She turns to my Natasha and asks me, “Is this Anja? “...



Aaaah! ...

This story happened to my friend. He was recently on a hunting trip. While at home (sharing housing with colleagues), I suddenly found that there was no basket. The whole apartment, no. They were stolen on the way. The phone went somewhere. After a while, he was found unloaded. It includes. The first SMS comes: about the disbursement of funds... in the amount of 1 ruble. Well, they think, Vryuga has already started spending money on cards. Why 1 ruble? See SMS - the purchase was made in one of the local shops. Someone suggested that the wallet was forgotten there, and the seller made a purchase at least so that the owner came a text message, and he understood where his wallet was. Alexis walked into the store.

So it went! The seller was not only honest, but also clever. She returned the wallet and even the ruble, which she wrote off from his card. From the reward the girl refused and after offering to take at least a chocolate, modestly chose the simplest.

The co-worker told, he loved to sometimes watch something for adults on the Internet, home video there, the videos are short. Well, one day, he looks at a video, in some porn group, taken from the first person, and there the guy cheats the girl, (taken as usual so that the girl's head is not visible) and the girl with all the moles, that under the pants and other signs is his wife. At first I didn’t believe my eyes, but the facts shone. In the evening, scratching her teeth, I showed her a video. That hysteric, in general, had a deal, but it's not serious, forgive me and most importantly "You can change me once too" She was sent along with her manats far and long. So guys, remember the moths, it will be useful someday.

A classic example of this disease is the fear of pollution, in which the patient every contact with dirty, in his opinion, objects causes discomfort and, as a result, obsessive thoughts. To get rid of these thoughts, he begins to wash his hands. But even if at some point it seems to him that he has washed his hands enough, any contact with a “dirty” object causes him to start his ritual again. These rituals allow the patient to temporary relief. Despite the fact that the patient is aware of the meaninglessness of these actions, he is not able to fight them.

No, this guy is actually there for 2 hours. The dumb hose runs so that before the girl not to be ashamed and not to end before time. And to be sure, it drops twice. In his youth he did so, when sexual life only started and ended from one touch to a woman :)

Discussion of a birthday present

XXX: A book
yyy: I can fit 13 volumes of mayakovsky xDD
There is still a big Soviet encyclopedia.
xxx: we have one of her ?
Do you want the entire collection? ?
If you give a gift every year, you won’t have to suffer with choosing a gift for the rest of your life.
This is a gift from my aunt! The 48th volume of the Encyclopedia.
“Mommy, let’s stop letting her come to us, right?
It’s nothing yet, though Mayakovsky is over.

My wife and I are celebrating 5th wedding anniversary today.
I sit at work, comes a colleague (K), a very, by the way, serious and uncomfortable uncle, and announces:
K: Nicholas, I have 17th anniversary of marriage today.
Well, after being struck by such a coincidence, we talked a little about it, and then returned to work.
The boss comes in, it is visible on the face that he is now crazy for something.
K (happy): Dmitry Alekseevich, and we and Nicholas today marriage anniversary!
The chief shrugged, stumbled on half a word, issued “Hello...” and hid behind the door.
Drinking for the health of young people.

I feel hatred.
XXX: Tons of Hate
XXX is enough.
XXX: Making an Ocean of Hate
Theme: Lake of Hate
There will still be hatred.
You can put her socks.

I went in the tram last night. In front of them is a family with a daughter-in-law. Here comes a woman in a hijab and the little girl gives out - Daddy, and why is this ghost black? Are there such?

<vova> Did you correctly understand that you are the manager on our move to another part of the office?
<Leo> Rather: I need your seats, so I’m the manager on your departure. Coming here is not my area of responsibility.

5 years ago, I met a cute girl, and direct love at first sight. Here we meet for a month, I went somehow to the store with a red bird for food. I browse past the rows and notice my girlfriend with some man in the years, I approach closer, I understand from the conversation that it is her father. I decided to meet, I approached, a whole girlfriend in the cheek, but from surprise, I froze, tightly holding her hand to her father. He immediately said to me, “Hello Maxim,” and I with the unintelligent face, “I am not Maxim, I am Oleg.” The man thoughtfully - it is strange to me, my daughter said now we will buy products and go to my boyfriend Maxim...

Is a long stay in the bathroom a sign of infantility?
Infantile people watch cartoons in order to get away from reality, in the bathroom they also leave the problems and responsibilities of the outside world, for example, from the duty to remove mouse cacao from the ham or to smooth the bedding.

I read a lecture at a magazine, in the break I heard a funny act of the birth of journalistic material - this is how journalism works.

I have a new guy!
And again? How they call?
It is a secret...
- Hey, all, she had a new man again at night and she didn't even know his name! and :)

University smoker near the camp, where classes are held, mostly, with technicians.

Prepod on Funkan, outrageously: after all, a good student on pairs must be attentive!

Unknown undergraduate, joyfully: does not eat, a good student in pairs just has to be!

The philosophy of philosophy, complaint: Well, at least a bit...

I'm crazy and want to buy the first witch.
Q: Is it only the first one?
XXX: I missed the first
I have an unclosed herald.

The daughter asked to put a spiral in order to go to a pioneer camp
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I didn’t go to the camp when I was a child :(

My main discovery on the third decade: stupid people don’t look stupid! Moreover, they also know how to speak, read and write, they study, go to work and generally to some extent succeed in life. You learn to distinguish them only by 25 years by some circumstantial signs - logical mistakes in reasoning, self-love, "black-and-white" thinking, "dwarf stubbornness", turbidity, a tendency to envy... If I understood all this at least seven years... But the nerves spent in childhood and youth you will not return and you will not get rid of complexes.

Imagine a restaurant where neither the chef, nor the technician, nor the director themselves eat. They also demonstratively go to another restaurant and send the children there. was presented? Would you go to this restaurant? And now think about Russian healthcare, education and public transportation.

xxx: fucking, I postponed this letter to the ambassador for a moment (((( now I can't concentrate, the child nearby

Yyy: let it help, adult already, what trousers to wipe
I was at his age, he was.
Young people..

xxx: ha ha ha ha
He is 9 months

I remember it as if it was yesterday.

xxx: he only knows the word "give, uncle, yes"

yyy: in the case of a customer who has the money we want, his vocabulary should be enough.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to point
YYY: In the exact order that you pointed out.

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx