At the beginning of December on the doors under the train appeared a phenomenon: "in the jack are urgently needed tractors!!And indeed, the winter has gone unnoticed. All we have to do is attribute "with our tractors" and that will be the whole truth about our jack.

I read somewhere that the peoples of South Africa and Australia mythically explained each other the spots on the moon as the consequences of blood-mixing alliances, wars, disarticulations and everything that leaves traces of blood and dirt.
And the Japanese believe that there is a rabbit living there and baking cookies.

c) The wind

XXX: How do I know you?

Yyy: I will be in a shirt with the baby.

XXX: I probably won’t come.

Lucky Ducky: I saw your ex yesterday. –
Two-legged Jack Gold: and how is she there?
Lucky Ducky: She’s okay, but you say you’re degrading.
Jack Gold is a lie. She has been telling everyone for five years that I’m degrading. At such a rate, I should already get to the virus, and that is not possible. They don’t know biology so well.

I listen to a Czech rock band. There are funny words for the Russian ear. For example, there are some "blues" mentioned. Rhythm of them is the mysterious "disappearances". At the end of one of the tracks, the vocalist excites: "Well, right?!and "

XXX> My grandfather came here. It seems to be vigorous, but...
xxx> Instead of money brought Soviet rubles and copies. Probably everything is bad...
xxx>...and the boss looked at how much it costs on the airline - and took into account the debt )))
xxx> So we still have the USSR, comrade))

We had only two computers at work for a long time. One was called Ferdinand, the other was Voldemort. That’s all you need to know about the atmosphere of light madness at my job.

No, not all of it. Our muffle oven is called Paraskeva Fedotovna.

The children of the rich are born in the cabbage, the children of the poor are brought by the oak.

Love and Aviation.

Every year, light-engine aircraft strike Alaska. Then in the fog for the tops of the oil stuck, then the error of the pilot, then the failure of the system, or even in general no one understood anything, but the plane on the bottom of the lake. Last month, hunters found the debris of a plane hanging in pieces on trees, which disappeared in 2008, under the debris human bones scattered by beasts - father and son, were searching for them then for a long time, and found nine years later.

There was a little girl, Sarah, who dreamed of flying. Not like a bird, but like a plane. The fate brought her both past the military and civilian aviation and Sarah got the profession of an accountant. She married, gave birth to a son – all like everyone else, but the dream of flying remained. At the age of 35, Sarah still received a license to drive a light-engine aircraft. The aircraft first rented, flew with an instructor, then without flying the right number of hours and gained experience. Finally, by the age of 40, Sarah and her husband John bought a small used plane of the type of corn for 4 seats. This is where the story itself begins.

Alaska is large, but there is no one’s land. Land, whether federal or tribal, state or city, or private, all have their own laws as to protect this land and the livelihoods on this land in every way to protect. To get out just so hunting will not work, you need to get permission for the season and for the species of wildlife (salo, deer, bear, rye, mountain goat, etc.). D is. Service is offered enormous. You can rent a private hunting cottage for a couple of days or a week or for how much money is not unfortunate, hire a professional guide, rent a small plane or boat.

To make it cheaper, more fun and safer, John invited three friends to hunt. They removed a hunting house on the shore of the lake, purchased food for three days, filled a plane. Under the contract, Sarah sent a hunting expedition to a parking spot on her hydroplane and had to pick them all up on a specified day.

In Alaska, the main competitors of hunters are bears. There are three types of them: black, brown and white. Grizzlies are a subtype of brown bears, they are more aggressive, although brown are far from gammi mice. Black bears try to get away from people, but they like to climb the garbage. Therefore, all garbage tanks in Alaska have "anti-bear" castles, if you don't close the tanks tightly, you can, leaving the house, drink the painting "Three Bears Dinner Without Mashenka" right in your yard. You will pay a fine to the city. If they like it, they will come back again and again. No, shoot at the bottom! The brown and grizzly strictly guard their territory, but they do not hunt people (in most cases). The white are the jeweller of everyone they meet and who will not have time to escape.

John and his hunting comrades could each shoot no more than six deer a day. But the deer, of course, are also not stupid to stand and wait until they are released to the sausage, they still have to be pursued, to approach them, shoot, and hit. The most difficult part is “invisible.” It is very difficult to walk unnoticed on the taiga - there is everything against a person, then the branch under the booth will crumble traitorically, then it is necessary to climb through the bush with a gun and a backpack, then the white man begins to scream over his head: "We are here!" and I want to shoot a throat creature on the spot. The deer will hear and teach you before you notice his white tail, and will quietly go aside.

The second problem, after you shot the deer, is our old friends bears. The black bears will just go after the hunters to eat what they threw out when cutting the carcass. The brown and grizzly go on a shot as an invitation to lunch – the feeder has arrived! Therefore, the hunters either quickly divide the carcass on the spot and quickly remove it from there or take the carcass to the partition site, but also quickly. Here, almost every hunter will tell you the story of the encounter with a brown bear, who "accidentally" broke out on a pit, where the hunters cut the deer twenty minutes after the shot. At the same time, the hunters are happy if the bear just gives them a chance to leave. Tush of the deer gets to the owner of the taiga.

The problem with bears does not end here, they also have a unique smell and hear fresh meat miles away, so they often go wrong around hunting houses and cause a lot of trouble to hunters. One morning, the hunter went out to the wind to do a little need and in the middle of the process, a brown bear came out from the corner of the hunting house, loudly breathed the smell of enemy urine on the territory entrusted to him and grumbled dissatisfied. So the hunter ran around the house, grabbing the pants with one hand and pressing the reproductive organ in the other as a staffing stick. Only the bear did not need the stick, he wanted to take the prize whole with his wet pants. The Olympic Games were prematurely interrupted by fans who dragged the half-dead race favourite into the house. The bear then walked around for a long time, testing the strength of the door, demanding to deliver the offender and throwing the territory. No one went hunting that day.

When Sarah flew to pick up the hunting expedition, the deer’s meat was packed in special refrigerators (such as mini refrigerators made of durable plastic), by the number of refrigerators she knew the weight of the cargo, which was pre-arranged and designed. But there was one, but rather two, namely, two undivided deer bodies. It was overweight and Sarah gently refused to take the extra cargo on board. The hunters tried to convince her, but Sarah refused.

Word for word between the pilot and the hunters was linked by a fence in which John took the side of the hunter friends. Sarah tried to explain that the lake was small and the “run” was quite short, the rise up was sharp, that the Alaskan people ate very high, and if they put on the tree, the bears would have a party with humans for dessert, and a bunch of children would remain orphans at home, including Sarah and John’s son. The four fatigued, unshaken and swirled by the hunt and blood of the man did not want to listen to anything, but Sarah did not take on the extra weight. While the plane was running on the water, the hunters sadly followed the eyes of two lonely deer bodies left on the shore of the lake. Upon his return, John left home for a week and filed for divorce within the following month.

In front of me sits a nice young woman named Sarah. She tells me this story, trying not to cry, but the tears still don’t roll on her cheeks. I do not know how to reassure her, I have nothing to comfort her, there are many months of divorce process ahead of her. I ask, “If you knew at the lake that your decision would destroy your marriage, would you take those deer on board?” “Well, I say, then you did everything right. You have only one life and no one can replace your mother and your son.”

Every year, light-engine aircraft strike Alaska. Then in the fog for the tops of the oil stuck, then the error of the pilot, then the failure of the system, or even in general no one understood anything, but the plane on the bottom of the lake. Something tells me that Sarah will never complete this sad statistic (three times a tree).

I went to the alcohol store on Friday evening on a bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in my bicycle basket. Before leaving, I thought that if I fell from the bike, the bottle would break.
So I decided to drink the whole bottle immediately before going home.
And you know, it was a fucking right decision because I fell down seven times on the way home.

How is he in bed?
YYY: Okay, very good... It would be perfect if he gave me a shirt.
Do you want a lot from a plastic member?

xxx: Do you know that we have been hanging news on the site for a week with the word "extricity" in the headline? No one noticed?
ZZZ is cake.

My great-grandmother thought it was very appropriate for me, a three-year-old, to start telling her that she would die, that she would be dug up in a pit, that she would be thrown into the ground... Mother told me, in order to make her feel sorry, or begun to ask me not to die. And I took and interested in such an action so much that a week in the morning to her resorted with the question "when will you die?"

Who wanted to start drawing web comics, keep the idea.
Painting together, people’s styles are always inevitably different.
One draws the field of sight of one hero (including the corpse of another hero), the other vice versa.
The world through the eyes of one and the other. The same, say, the phone in the hallway will be a little different when one faces it or the other.
And all this way.
It will be especially funny how they see themselves in the mirror.
The intrigue can be built - the reader will guess that this is and this is the same girl, seen by one and the other.

The idiot. no

When you are once again exhausted by an obsessive ex, remember that any strong emotion will show that this aunt is not alien to you yet, and will give her a forum. Politeness is the best remedy against retrospect. There are secret rules of communication - very different for relatives, friends, colleagues, just acquaintances and casual passers. for each group. And a person can rush to the center as much as he wants, but with the right policies of access, he will be brought out to the periphery once in a while. There is nothing more effective than cold removed indifference. Especially in the context of a gentle attitude to the current partner.

XX: In fact, a group of people counted a bunch of numbers on the compass. And now he expects to sell these numbers to the world [...] and what about this shit? But that doesn’t bother anyone anymore.

Yyy: Are you talking about Bitcoin or about the U.S. Federal Reserve?

Variety reports that three other women have accused actor Dustin Hoffman of sexual harassment that took place more than 30 years ago.

I remembered the joke:
An old woman comes to the police. and says:
I was raped 30 years ago.
It tells a lot, with all the details.
The police officer responded:
We cannot help you with anything. It is a long time, difficult to find.
The old woman shrugged her hand:
So what you are, sweet, nice to remember, to share with no one.

This morning, an epic happened :) The dark morning and general fatigue played a confounding joke with me.
The week turned out to be crazy, the nerve is tight at work, we rush to finish the unfinished until the end of the year, I sleep little, I work a lot. In the morning I got up, went to the bathroom, made coffee, all on the machine, I went to the bedroom in a coat and with a cup. I look, and on the box is half a bottle of cognac, a glass. I pour a gram hundred, make a large swallow, drink a hot coffee. The beauty! I drink, pour a generous second portion. I drink. Life is not so bad!
I thoughtfully approach the closet with a glass, meditating on the content. I make a throat. I was thinking about what to wear like this. I make a throat. I observe. Lenny thinks so, and where am I actually going. I make a throat. And I’m cold, because I know I’m going to work.
Z is. But in a cheerful and active mood for half-Friday I have already smashed a lot more than I planned for today))))) the main thing on Monday is not to be disappointed in the decisions taken :)))) and do not take this method on arm :))

The Internet Speed

British engineer Adrian Kennedy successfully connected the internet with a conventional wet rope about two meters long. It was able to connect with a speed of 3.5 megabits per second.

The Fucks! Rostelecom provides the same speed on the ADSL line.
I guessed they had a shit line. But what they are in speed / conductivity corresponds to a wet rope, I did not expect!

Now you just have to get married to my brain!!! to