bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147585
 24.12.2017
Are these bars?
and yes.
He is whose?
From Dagestan to us.
Sergey to stop. Why are you talking so strangely?
I read Shakespeare before the exam, preparing all night. What about the seller?
and c)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147584
 24.12.2017
How can you prove that this check was paid by you? Do you have a few witnesses?

Better is. I have a check. The document.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147583
 24.12.2017
Tagged half a year

"The guy saw the way out, wanted to decide"

I am such a super-responsible fool who has been solving other people’s problems for years, because it is necessary to work on relationships and we love each other so much!
The outcome is the same, just a few years and billions of nerve cells later.
But I, the shit, could give the guy another chance, because he has changed again "and "works on himself", now he "knows exactly what to do".
You know what? Let it all go.

And yet, it is far from the fact that the lady was silent as a partisan "you did not arrange a grand scandal with clarifications of relationships, so everything was normal "not such a rare phenomenon.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147582
 24.12.2017
Negroes take land from white farmers like Negroes will work on this land
WOW: It is hard to argue. If the whites wake up in time, the blacks will actually work there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147581
 24.12.2017
The Aegean Sea

I also have a husband of such Petrosian, a tongue without bones, slaps to the right and to the left. I am accustomed to such a sense of humor, and the child believes unconditionally.

Recently, I received a great deal from my daughter, who was mocked by the whole group in the kindergarten for the story that the light bulbs shine at night because they have a diode in their buttocks. Previously, they said, each night they lighted each other with fireworks, and now on the bubble they will press the button and shine. The Nanotechnology!
He is stressful and the child is stressful.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147580
 24.12.2017
Unconscious of him:

What does it have to do with conscience? People just do their job, whatever it is. No one is bad about advertising calls (except for those who are mentally unhealthy), the law is not violated. And in general, conscience is something of the past century, now it is not in fashion.

and ah. Here he is an exemplary call center servant, neither of mind, nor of shame, nor of conscience. The workers of the fascist concentration camps and the Gestapo also said: we just did our job. They should also understand and forgive. "We are not such, life is such"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147579
 24.12.2017
DDD> Boian (Boian) - archaeological culture of the Neolithic era (4th thousand years) to do. N N. E is.on the territory of Moldova, Romania and Bulgaria. ...when they say, “Well, this is already a battle,” it means that this topic is 5-6 thousand years old.

NNN> Well, to such heights I am far away, but my jokes in Novgorod berestines found, it is a fact.
The neighbor's cat attached a garden label for plants to the anti-bleach collar and wrote on it "Yah Kitty". And that same winter, the academician Zaliznyak told how the excavations found a berry plaque "I'm a Puppy" with two holes to bind to a puppy. At that moment I realized how many of my jokes were bearded...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147578
 24.12.2017
A security officer (SB) in the subway stops for inspection - the frame reacted to the bag. Conducting through the bag with a hand metal detector, I simultaneously show the content. It looks like nothing metal but still feeds.

SB: Maybe there is metal money in some pocket?
I: No, I have no money.
Yes, brother, the same problem.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147577
 24.12.2017
xxx: Who can advise which less normal club can be entered today without a special invitation?
yyy: Our club of air enthusiasts has a meeting at the Pioneer Palace today at 18:00, if you want, join us.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147576
 24.12.2017
This is! What’s wrong with a girl wanting to get married? The ring is a fetish..all the fools-friends are not married, and she is already married, it is also..a reason for pride and self-admiration...Everyone could not, and she was able to pull the body of the gamer to ZAGS, you think it was easy? But it turned out that in the marriage he remained a gamer, and she was hit by homework and online sex, and he just got married, so that for sex (and borsche) not to go far, most marry because of this. The girl realized that the job was her, and the entertainment was him, and she thought it wasn’t so!“Gamer worries that he has set up plans, that with food and bed the matter has resolved, he has married! And then he was brutally broken...And you can understand him too, all the expelled from the womb of the family, the men of the family have their hands and knots – and what’s wrong, I got married!!And that for the family they are of no importance and except for the fox, nothing can be invested in the relationship, it is a completely different song.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147575
 24.12.2017
They look at me strangely at work. One girl’s computer started to reboot. There are two people in one compound in exchange. So the guy is okay, and as this girl is on the shift, so she hangs, the screen turns off, ripples, and so on. It became interesting. After a couple of weeks of unsuccessful trials, I was moved by statics as I sat on a chair after this girl.
It turned out that the girl rolls her ass on the chair and electrifies herself, and electrifies it, and the chair frame is metal, the seat is a dielectric. When the girl rides on it on the floor, the metal foot on the wheels touches the stitch that goes into the computer, with all the outflows. In short, she stuck me at the moment when I roasted her chair and floor underneath with an antistatic. She leaned carefully toward me and so dangerously said "What are you doing". The answer came by itself - "Your energy cleans". It would be nothing, but the problem disappeared.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147574
 23.12.2017
G0ST: This post was about such good friends. The grandmother brought his grandfather something delicious that he could not have after the operation at all... so he died, but was full.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №147573
 23.12.2017
Sometimes suggestions are more effective than words.
When we started living with my wife, she studied, I worked. There were no questions about keeping the household, I wagered at 1.5 bets, and she had enough time.
Then she also went to work 9-18, which is actually 6-20. But in addition to everyday life, you want to go somewhere, meet friends, go for a walk, watch movies, read, and just relax. Time and effort for homework has become significantly less. At first, I got used to having to take the rubbish out of my duties.
And here in the light of a new life faced with the fact that the house affairs should be shared. In words I seemed to understand everything, and even agreed, but in fact there were always 100 reasons why not now, but later. Buying/doing reminders have disappeared in most cases. The conflict was shortened.
My wife acted wisely. Not a scandal, the type agreed. I breathed with relief. And then I noticed that we eat more and more pasta and strawberries, sausages, clothes appeared, suddenly, also does not wash itself and does not smooth.
Then I thought. I went from work, bought a little food, meat. I ate a fresh salad for dinner. During the week of dusting, the next day was a time for salt.
So love and respect each other, read the changes in behavior, and if you can't explain them yourself, then ask and clarify without hassles. Peace to you.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147572
 23.12.2017
xxx: Yes, I am sure of that. You would see how he dropped the calls)) I didn't tell you more, but once they all split up, you understand, since it was on the beach, he saw me in all my cellulite 120+ and still in the light of the bright sun)) And I don't know how to say, but in short, I was in the strings, well I thought that the fat in the swimsuit is not hidden, but in the strings, even if the butt burns. And here are you representing that kind and uron for the psychic of that boy? :) Yes, he, probably, six months more nightmares dreamed, and maybe dream of me as I stretch my fat pen and say with a fat voice "Go sooo мнооооойй"))))

Madam, you are a fat troll.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147571
 23.12.2017
Protect your lives.

We stand and wait for a taxi. The controller said that Toyota will come, the state meter is like that. Wait for the giraffes to come. The Driver:
Or ordered a taxi?
“Well, we were waiting for Toyota (asserting that we may not be his customers).
What?! Do you like our cars? Give it to Toyota! Go for a walk like that!
He leaves... o

This is the business of taxi drivers. A legal taxi driver accepts orders from the driver and resells them to an illegal. And he is not responsible for you, his car can be in an emergency and literally collapse on the go. It is necessary to call the controller and inform that another car came to the call instead of the declared car.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №147570
 23.12.2017
here here :

To say to the proud ham that hamstorming is not the best strategy is, it turns out, "pull the disagreeing with dirt." Those who go are gentle. Probably, that is why they are crashing into the operators - they will not respond and will not cause psychological trauma to the poor.

You were poorly educated - to name a personal telephone number to a person who did not give it to you is already a shame.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147569
 23.12.2017
There was no call center at my previous job. Although it would be better for a couple of employees to be removed from the main duties and put on the phones than to suffer foolishness, as the precious bosses eventually came up with: everyone gave out lists with phones and addresses of the target audience and a bonus to the main duties (worth to say that with any advertising NIKAK not related) ordered to call. They called, asked, the type, if someone does not need the services of our organization, dictated phones in case someone suddenly turned. Happy end? FIG is there! The headquarters decided that it was necessary to call again every month - suddenly it was not necessary for a person, and here it was necessary.
I, fucking, introvert, I strange people to call in general stress, although, seemingly, nobody hammered. Although it was expected - the target audience is full of elderly women, for whom such suffering is equated to fraud.
You know, customers are too few. Prices changed, preferential services became less, the right to benefits became less people even among pensioners, and the norms of the number of services at the same time raised - and the holy confidence that employees who are not convincing enough in the role of telephone messengers are to blame for the shortage of customers.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147568
 23.12.2017
"You probably so every time and the sanitary, and the cleaning workers once more spending on the floor, also the fools took on the ugly work."

Do not confuse. I respect the work of cleaners and sanitarians. They have a low-paid, but useful job. On the other hand, the employees of the call centers, arranging for work, understand that in large part their task will be one - to fucking people's brains. and signed it. Maybe someone goes there out of despair, I don't know, but the fact remains a fact - it's really a disgusting job.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147567
 23.12.2017
A woman from the hospital reports:
The patient after the operation is afraid that when the anesthesia is completely over, it will hurt and he will scream, asks for anesthesia in advance, and the sister answers to him, yeah, don't be afraid, we have a grandmother here at night, and in general, it's the same surgery, I will also soon start screaming!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147566
 23.12.2017
We stand and wait for a taxi. The controller said that Toyota will come, the state meter is like that. Wait for the giraffes to come. The Driver:
Or ordered a taxi?
“Well, we were waiting for Toyota (asserting that we may not be his customers).
What?! Do you like our cars? Give it to Toyota! Go for a walk like that!
He leaves... o

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