Chaykin: Mill, my finger burned today, so it’s all right.
He: And how did it happen?
Chaykin: Well, I cooked a rollon and covered the plate with the first tool, they turned out to be a disk with your records...
Chaykin: Then I decided to remove it and, in order not to stumble, I pushed my finger into the hole in the middle, and neither I nor my finger expected it to boil there.

We have a guy at work who spends 6 hours a day on the road. Well, he works hard, so he has little free time and he almost doesn’t watch movies and TV.
Project cabinet, with a large table, where large-format drawings are studied. I’m standing at the projector and repairing it, at the table (usually empty), two girlfriends, 26 and 28 years old, ardent fanatics of pottery, and discussing a new film. With the wheelchair on which lies a statue of diversified drawings comes the aforementioned guy. One of his girls:
“Loch, why do you think Hermione got married to Ron and not Harry, because Ginny Harry doesn’t fit at all?
The guy wraps his head from side to side, a-la Beatles while performing She Loves You:
Who are these people?
The girls are beginning to tell "short content". A man who could not withstand:
In short!
“Ron, Harry and Hermione, fellow students and friends, and Ginny, Ron’s younger sister from the same university, I can’t stand it and interfere with the conversation.
“That’s why I didn’t get married,” she presses Lech’s shoulders.
Why? why? Girls are asking.
“If Harry had married Ge-how-yo-tam, Ron would have gotten Ginny, and that’s incest.
The most silly explanation I’ve ever heard! One of the girls says.
I think the most logical.

Feddy has a token on the subway!
He doesn’t need him, he’s still small like you, you can ride for free.
When I grow up, will I need a puppy?
of course! You will grow big, strong and kind.
I will grow up big, strong and kind and take away a chip from Fedi.

The male dialogue:
Father and son stand in the window of a women’s underwear shop. Father to Son:
...understood?
I understood!

I came from a party. Mom sentenced: “You, like a real man, will smell women’s spirits, alcohol and tobacco.”

She: Well I’m confused (under the contract) tell me.
You’re always confused, you’ve just recently approached the same question.
She: No, I’m confused about something else.
How did you give birth to a child if you can’t even solve these questions?
She: Then I was confused too - I was confusing the days

I read here:
xxx: This article is "Rare names". You will think. Here with us a boy studied by the name Bogush. The people fell out when they put their paintings. And it was signed modestly: God... and the whipped tail behind)))))

We have the customer signs all documents "Poh-/"(Pohov)))

D: Dear man, let’s get a small creature?
A: The child?? to
D: I’m talking about the dog, at all. But if you insist...
M: to melt...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
XH: enriched with iodine
xxx: bl@ with laminaries*
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

There are seven wonders of the world, and you are the eighth.

XXX is not! I am in the first 7.
YYYY : )
Zzzz: You don’t even enter the door.
Zzzz: what a miracle there is

<nico-izo>
<nico-izo> this conference is about the sex of the great and terrible unicoids who draw pictograms and evoke demons.
<nico-izo> the sect*
<nico-izo> well black

Amelia Vrohman: Yes! Smile, tomorrow will be better.
Lanze: What after tomorrow?

I work in an ambulance. We have strong frosts now. During the night, several calls for freezing. So here we come for the challenge. On the way, the doctor says that the controller did not explain exactly what happened. When they arrived, they were quiet. The situation: a strongly subdued man went to a 24-hour shop at night for a beer. I bought a bottle and went out with it. The freezing 29. He slipped, fell - a bottle in the back, both hands in beer. Standing up, he grabbed his hand for the iron command on the doorstep... then with the other hand, for confidence, probably. In short, this is how we caught him. The ambulance was called by the passers, because he was capitalized... and while we were still driving he fell asleep :D

I lost my socks again.
WOW: It is not even funny anymore...

After half an hour

Ohhh... I found it!
WOW : what?
I have socks! 😉
Will you share a secret?
XHH: in the room.
I'm sorry, but I can't help but I can't speak :)
“When the wheelchairman loses his socks, he asks his mother where they are.
WOW: when a linuxide loses his socks, he reassembles the room :)

We have a computer science teacher - a funny guy, a young man, 25 years old to him, the maximum, as his student asked, said, his name, he decided to knit, said - call me "Guardians of Heavenly Justice", everyone appreciated the joke. Here is the delivery of labs, this very girl pulls his cheek, and on the title sheet is beautiful "Checked: Guardian of Heavenly Justice", the lecturer appreciated =)

The news:
Patriarch Kirill wants to go into space.

Looking for something gathered?

Mother (M) c father (O) sitting on the couch, mother cuts the cat, grills:
I need to wash the cat from fleas.
A: The asshole?
M: Yes, I caught a flea on me, fat like that.
Q: What about the cat here?

Startup: British scientists have proven that you can live without sex.
Mbrrr: British scientists have proven that the world can live peacefully without British scientists.

The number of socks in the house can be expressed not only in uneven numbers, but also irrational, and even imaginary.

XXX: No, but it is a bustle. Instead of learning to play soccer, these consumed Russians buy the whole championship to the fools.