bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №37718
 22.10.2010
Gl[O_o]my: eating in the offline. How Conservative :D

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37717
 22.10.2010
News on the Rambler:

The winner of the popular contest "Eurovision" from Russia Dima Bilan was in an accident. He was driving his BMW 7 Series on the Third Transport Ring when a VAZ-2106 crashed into the rear of his car.

The grandfather on the green six doesn’t sleep!!!! to

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №37716
 22.10.2010
Lyrica (20.10.2010 16:51) :
In short, here two people asked about you, don’t get offended, but I gave them your phone number and address. If anything, they are called Happiness and Joy, so that they are always with you :). Please send this to 10 people and me :) You’ll see what happens in nine minutes. Don’t believe it, find it.

Bars (20.10.2010 17:22) :
In short, here two people asked about you, don’t get offended, but I gave them your phone number and address. If anything, their names are Gogi and Ashot, I also gave them vaseline :). Please send it to 10 people or they will come to you. You’ll see, they’re serious and they’ll be in 9 minutes. Don’t believe it, find it.


[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №37715
 22.10.2010
It turns out, there is whisky for almost three lamas of rubles.
It can be taken in a mortgage.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37714
 22.10.2010
What is natural in selection, when the survivor is not the smartest, not the best, not even the strongest, but the one who has best adapted?

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37713
 22.10.2010
A few years before the Revolution, my cousin
He traveled with his young wife on the Paris-Petersburg express last month.
At the Russian-German border to their main wagon the German customs arrived at the last and in a good mood - with this wagon problems usually did not arise.
The two gendarmes did not even think of checking the luggage, they only checked the passports. The clever guardian who headed them did not get away with this - he polently asked to present documents and entered into a kind conversation with individual passengers - whether with the passengers who liked him, or with the most suspicious.
Among those selected were my grandfather and my wife.

The lieutenant first laughed at a nice pregnant Russian lady in his Russian language, and then he himself began to whisper over the German of both spouses with the immediate sense of humor characteristic of this nation. In those distant times, people laughed easily – to make them laugh to the colic in the stomach, it was enough to show Charlie Chaplin. Responding to the intrigue, the lieutenant finally noticed that the Russian lady was a little offended, and galantly switched to the international French. In this neutral territory they talked. After the inspection, there was some time left before the train departed, and both officers — my grandfather and a customs officer — went out to smoke on the platoon, continuing the conversation. The conversation went on a family topic - it turned out that the lieutenant married a year earlier than his great-grandfather, but still worked hard on what his Russian colleague has already done.
The grandfather had time to give him two useful practical advice – which he did not specify. Both gendarmes, of course, were released away at the beginning of the overture. But soon one of them returned in a jump, carrying a depa.
After reading it, the German guardian made an impenetrable face, stolenly looked at both of the guns in possession - his own and my grandfather, and very thoughtfully - at the whole train as a whole.

Instantly through the situation, the great-grandfather looked at both guns already demonstratively, with a separate look attended to the rifle behind the shoulders of the escaped gendarme, after which he asked significantly in heavy German: "Customs inspection was completed BEFORE receiving a deposition, didn't it?"

“You are so,” the German officer replied in French.
“Our clinics are better, and your wife would be quieter.
But to convince you to stay, I am not going to arrange a shooting here. I wish health to your wife and your future child. Thank you for the advice, but I’m not going to need it anymore.” With these words, he sneezed to the machinery, cut off his grandfather and went away thoughtful, throwing for goodbye: "And I will not show you the depeas - anyway, you have a dumb German..."

This brief conversation is due to the lives of three dozen descendants of my grandfather. And the fate of all the people in this train turned differently. At that time, Germany declared war on Russia and the First World War began. The German lieutenant simply postponed the world war for three minutes on the territory entrusted to him.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №37712
 22.10.2010
To become better in the eyes of another person, praising yourself is useless.
I should praise him.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №37711
 22.10.2010
Status of a girlfriend in classrooms:
I believe that retaliation will come... And the men will run on the sticks behind the pads...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №37710
 22.10.2010
I heard a conversation between two blondes.
One other says: put money on the phone, 150 rubles removed the commission of 7 rubles, and with 50 take 5 rubles, the next time I will put three times 50.
......

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №37709
 22.10.2010
I watch the video. In short, some Ukrainian porn star went on a rally in defense of children. Believers from the nearby church, seeing her, began to actively baptize. I wonder how the believers recognized a porn star in the crowd?

c) bestoloch

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №37708
 22.10.2010
Dialogue between wife and daughter:
You are punished! We have stunned you when you behave like this!
I’m curious, but how do you punish me?! to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37707
 22.10.2010
The Uncle Dim! Thanks to you! Now I know that I will respond to fellow members - "I will not let you write down because of the loss of confidence"

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №37706
 22.10.2010
and aska.
Friends, how is it?
I: brain shock, burn on the forehead and a clot on the back of the neck.
Aahahahahahahahahaha! It is talent! What shook?
I: came, put the car on the parking lot, decided to look at her under the belly, pushed her head.. not visible.. pushed further.. touched the back of the asphalt - pulled off the head - fucked my forehead on the heated glue, pulled my head off - fucked my back on the asphalt.. the outcome has already been described.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37705
 22.10.2010
This is a strict lesson, dear. I sit and read from my mobile phone, passing by, I postpone the mob. He looks at the P-Pop screen.
Q: The last time you read?
I am :o_0
Q: The last added read?
I: Yeah (and I am)
P: Come after the tape, let me read it :)
I think the exam will not be difficult.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №37704
 22.10.2010
Chief: Guy, when a girl came to you in the club and said that she would suck the mine, it should at least have warned you...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №37703
 22.10.2010
• Moving away from parents

Ohhhh, things are so little.
Meaning - Meaning
1 bag, 1 bag, 1 box of shoe floor, chair, computer
HHH - all
WOW (All that I have had)
Fuck the fuck.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WOW is the starting item to start pumping your hero.
xxx - * rofl *

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №37702
 22.10.2010
The summary...
...
Desired Position: No matter what
Wished salary: A lot more.
Professional skills: Fuck like a bull.
...
Per he can take it by a carrier - they are all like that, but this one does not hide it.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №37701
 22.10.2010
Office building, the start of the heating season. A man enters the room:
"Maybe I’m standing still?"

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №37700
 22.10.2010
by JeKa:
During the Cold War, there were many cases when the world was on the brink of a nuclear war due to false evidence of missile detection systems. In 1979, an alarm was raised in the United States because of the fact that one of the computers was mistakenly loaded a training program of a massive nuclear strike. However, the satellites did not detect missile launches, and the alarm was canceled. And in 1983, the Soviet satellite detection system failed, transmitting a signal about the launch of several American missiles. Colonel Stanislav Petrov, sitting on the pulte, assumed the responsibility of not passing information to the country's top leadership, deciding that it was unlikely that the United States would strike the first strike with such a small force.
On January 19, 2006, Stanislav Petrov was awarded the special prize of the international public organization “Association of Citizens of the World” at the UN headquarters in New York City. It represents a crystal statue “The Hand holding the globe” with the inscription “The Man Who Prevented Nuclear War.”

by maxho:
I imagined, guests come to you.
"the fun statuette, what did it get for?"
"That is how the nuclear war was prevented"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №37699
 22.10.2010
xxx:Hello, please tell me, is it a lot different from 1G to 2G?
YYY: twice

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