bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №38721
 11.11.2010
O'neell: What do you think of "real computer wallpapers"?
Scroll: Well, for example, a penguin eating an apple on the tomb of Bill Gates..."

Artists, let’s wait for the backdrop in the comics)))

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №38720
 11.11.2010
Walking in the park. There are a couple of things ahead and something nice about it. Then they stop sharply and the girl, turning to the guy, turns her finger at the whistle. But her face is as if she was called the least crazy. The curiosity dissipates. I remove the headphones and then listen to the dialogue:
Q: Why did you hit your head? Which is married? What do I need??? And for you too?? to
You see only the shortcomings in everything. Look from the other side – I earn twice as much as you, I have my own home, and you live on a household. In addition, I know how to cook your favorite sushi, I am not scandalous and not scandalous. I do everything on my own, I also help you.
D: Fuck, and you won’t argue... hm... and in sex you’re nothing like that...
Q: Well what am I saying? You don’t look at the benefits.
Do you know how to cook borsches?
P: I can
Fuck, go out for me!!! to

She cried

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38719
 11.11.2010
My paint in the printer is over.
Not paint, but a toner. Have you printed my report?
Well, now I say I don’t have a computer printing.)
The computer cannot print.
Do I have to stick to every word I say?( by
Not to everyone.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №38718
 11.11.2010
Commentary under video

The video contains outspoken scenes of a sexual nature and is not recommended for viewing: pregnant children and animals with an unstable psyche.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №38717
 11.11.2010
I remember buying condoms for the first time. A young saleswoman, looking me in the eyes, asked me, “Why are they to you, boy?” And I replied, “Take it off the balcony,” because at the age of 13, I hadn’t learned to lie yet.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №38716
 11.11.2010
From the response to the post about the promotion of websites in Germany:

“The Germans do not understand intelligence and irony in principle. So if you are writing something in a funny style, it is better to immediately put the tag irony and write the word "lope". At the same time, they best understand the humor on the fecal-anal theme, which, to the Russian taste, is rude and wicked. That is, the joke about Lieutenant Rzhevsky will not go - painful tone. And this kind of kindergarten humor will excite you!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №38715
 11.11.2010
Sometimes there is so much to do in the lectures that even writing a lecture is necessary(((

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №38714
 11.11.2010
One acquaintance believed that her boyfriend was ideal – she gave flowers, brought coffee to bed, went to the movie restaurants, and eventually he made her an offer, and she didn’t think long agreed.
They threatened an offgenic wedding, and at 9 o’clock in the morning after a tumultuous wedding night she gets a pinch under her ass with screams "and what fucking thing have you not prepared for me to eat yet?and "
Do you still believe that all men are goats? =) is

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №38713
 11.11.2010
Thro world history, millions of people have believed that the earth is flat and that the sun revolves around the earth.
So tell Copernicus that they can’t be wrong.

[ + 55 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №38712
 11.11.2010
by Upuiter:
Tell me about some simple Photoshop programs.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №38711
 11.11.2010
He almost died today. I was pushing in a giraffe, two girls were talking. One speaks very seriously. One says very seriously, "The life of something grew up with me and I am not at peace like that there. Am I pregnant, what do you think? I need to do the test. * pause * well or it's from chips"
Gary did not break his head.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №38710
 11.11.2010
Black_SKY (20:17:57 10/11/2010)
On cigarettes hits in the eyes the inscription "smoking kills"

Black_SKY (20:18:22 10/11/2010)
I offer to draw a shell on vodka and sign "drink jadu"

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №38709
 11.11.2010
Rina (16:40:02 10/11/2010)
Life would be like in advertising: powders wash everything, babies are driven to an axial effect, from snickers splashes like from drugs, ballerinas eat Rafaello, everyone loves each other.

IceBoX (16:41:42 10/11/2010)
ah, and from the toilet when washing flyed these ugly colored from homeostasis advertising :D

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №38708
 11.11.2010
from ZH

If on the box with the cleaner from the cooking for the teasers is written "Put the teasers in the dishwasher and pour out(pull out) the contents of the bag in the boiler", then, BAD!!!!!! There is no need to think about the topic: "and the naphiga to put it in the shell? And on the table will come down, a tea bar like electric...".
Just put it stupid, and it will not!!! Otherwise, you will wipe off the whole table and half the kitchen from this stinking shit.

by APD. Fuck it!! The fucking!! The fucking!!! to
If it is written on the bag "If it is left in the watermelon, heat it, but do not boil", then do not boil!!!!!!!! to
Otherwise, you will wipe out everything a second time and change the traffic jams in the hallway.
by APD. It was easier to buy a new one for 500 rubles.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №38707
 11.11.2010
Google has shortened the news.

Kazakhstan welcomes joint statement of Russian presidents

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №38706
 11.11.2010
XXX: Don’t write a chapter!
XHHH: In the ASK ink will end

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №38705
 11.11.2010
xxx: I have in the chamber a snoring symphonic stood pipet just not stuck
xxxh: grandfather of the years so 70-80 generally squealed and whispered when breathing all kinds of sounds from the outdoors and sounds...first at night I heard the screams of zombies from half-life then in the morning like my eyes closed I think my mouth...
HH: It wasn’t here.
I heard the breath of Darth Vader.
I looked straight into my soul as if
Then I realized that I could not sleep without a light sword.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №38704
 11.11.2010
Listen, why are you so ugly?! to
Romeo: And the soldier takes care of me... I watch the figure

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №38703
 11.11.2010
xxx: I am in order in the records of employees and got such a picture - taken to work on January 16, and resigned on January 24. Probably the more sober he was, the less he liked it.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №38702
 11.11.2010
I went to the universe, past the mentovsky "bobik" passes, and on the whole side the inscription is painted in red:"we are idiots, right?"the charge of positive received for the whole day))))))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna