bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147025
 04.12.2017
There is no separate boiler in hell for bikers. There are just polite traits that cancel a trip to heaven precisely at the moment when it has just begun to grind to the opposite edge of the boiler, and there are ordinary ones who first do not take the tube for half an hour, then, when the time is left, they joyfully agree, and when he grinds through all the boiling resin to the other edge of the boiler, they turn off the phone and shut down before their nose.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147024
 03.12.2017
I went today to buy winter shoes, and next to the couch, Daddy and little son dressed shoes:
and Dad:
This is what you like, right? As an example, they sit on their feet.
The Son:
Oh class, I like it!
Daddy, helping to put on the second shoe:
The price is normal, then we will take them.
My son is in shock:
What, and all that? Will we go nowhere to look? I will always go to the store with you!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147023
 03.12.2017
XXX: What is political prostitution?
yyy: This is when a calendar of Christmas fast is published in the newspaper entitled "Komsomolskaja Pravda".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147022
 03.12.2017
We decided to go for the second child. A twin was born. They gave us the heat. Orals during the day, and especially at night. It was very hard. That night, my husband and I managed to sleep them. He went to the toilet. I wanted to drink. I sit in the kitchen quietly in the dark. He goes out, I am not with the children. Not in another room. I didn’t see the kitchen in the dark. No to the toilet. So it runs through the apartment. Then he runs into the kitchen, turns on the light, his eyes blink: "I thought you had escaped!" Really scared. But to confess, I had that thought.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147021
 03.12.2017
I went today to buy winter shoes, and next to the couch, Daddy and little son dressed shoes:

This is what you like, right? As an example, they sit on their feet.

I like the class, I like the class.

A father helping to put on the second shoe:

Father: - The price is normal, then we will take them.

My son is in shock, what is it? Will we go nowhere to look? I will always go to the store with you!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147020
 03.12.2017
XXX I want to sleep.
yyy: Funny that this great hit was produced by the person who originally made the rapper’s beat.
I want to eat more, thank you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147019
 03.12.2017
aaa: Yesterday a student, seeing KOH, said "koch". I tried for a long time to understand what he was about.

BBB: That’s if he went from chemists to meteorologists! The cumulative clouds are referred to as Cu (qumulus), peristaltic-layered SS (cirostrumAtus) and so on. You see "Sc" – and this is not "scandia"! This is the "Strategy"! Hello to the meteorologists! Unforgettable weather for them!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147018
 03.12.2017
To admit, I thought that the story about Professor Svitelsky and a quote from Belinsky was another internet joke.
No, it turned out to be true.
Book "Hillarovsky", Mitrofanov A.G., "The Young Guard", Moscow, 2008
The quote:
andquot;
It was worse with the body itself. The poet Koltsov wrote about this critic Belinsky: "Theatre we have, and so ugly that it is ugly to be in it: men are ugly, and women are ugly. They play all the same tragedies, dramas, comedies, vodevils, operas, melodrams, ballets and all sorts of other things. “Revisors” and “Hamlets” are nothing. The fees are good. With as much risk as possible, we have a lot to win.”
One could blame Koltsov for some bias, but the Koltsov address himself, Visarian Belinsky, in case attested the same Voronezh Theatre even more strictly:
These are the words of Belinsky.
Ura to! I finally found a quote on the internet that actually took place! and :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147017
 03.12.2017
The suspicions were very plausible, and the excuses were extremely suspicious.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №147016
 03.12.2017
For a long time I was going to share, and here our Bundescol literally pushed...

It was a teaching lesson that life gave me and my classmates in the seventy-eighth year.

Our history teacher suddenly fell down the Komsomol line (needed somewhere) right in the middle of the quarter, and we naturally instantly relaxed, because the aunt of the historian in the school was much softer than San Sanicha. However, the director showed a surprising diligence and almost immediately brought the replacement of a new player from the side.

My grandfather arrived in the class at the age of 70. On the outside he was intelligent, something like Basilashvili from the Autumn Marathon, only twenty years older.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember his name, so I’ll call him grandfather.

So, grandfather decided to sense the level of knowledge of his new family and started with a terrible pedagogical mistake - said that you should not be afraid, because. In order not to obscure the acquaintance, he will not put two. Here the gentlemen with the ice immediately relaxed - they went out to the board, but did not bother themselves and the public with the answers, but friendlyly to the newcomer that such complicated things he asks had not yet passed. Grandfather, even a little upset and as if in search of a way out of the impasse to somebody from the eternal twins suggested that if he wrote on the board columns of fifteen dates and can name what happened in the specified year, he will get in the long row of his lambs at once a whole four!

You can write absolutely any dates, but only in chronological order!
The smell of the rare balloon in the air! Four points in fifteen dates. The offer was so tempting that the hand standing in front of the board itself grabbed. After the strict Sanitch, it was a "golden residence", immediately a couple, the most hasty classmates, offered the teacher to exchange their columns with his four. My grandfather agreed, and the work was over.

Our duo wrote between a dozen and a half dates and 1961, he meant Gagarin's flight, but in the joyful atmosphere of the "golden fever" he decided to joke and added to the words about the conquest of the Cosmos and the message that he was born in the same year. This "discovery" was met with an explosion of peers, but the grandfather unexpectedly praised him and advised for the future the rest also not to be embarrassed and include the dates of birth of parents, grandparents, as well as other important personal and family dates in the general chronology. The word grandfather kept - all the participants of the ride got their four.

For the next lesson, for the same estimate, it was necessary to write and explain forty dates, and a couple of weeks later the entire board was covered with columns of dates. The chronology was handed over to us, though with battles, but every day.

Then I suddenly made a discovery for myself that my grandmother in 1917 was 8 years old, and they married my grandfather before the very collectivization... Forty-first - a mother in the second class - the Germans in Simferopol, the robbers, the policemen stuck in the shower of the red classmate together with the whole family and with the baby - the Jews... The story came to life, became tangible and turned into one multi-faceted whole.

It was a simple and brilliant reception of the Master – everyone was able to feel a part in the life of the whole country and saw themselves in common with their own and neighboring grandparents.

It is a pity that there is no such teacher in the New Urengoi, and not only.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №147015
 03.12.2017
Interfax: the property of Colonel Zakharchenko will be turned into the income of the state.
That means they will steal everything again, but other people.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147014
 03.12.2017
Interesting cowardly people. Or is it a lift?
Genby is a trickster.
Babrok 1: The Lift.
xoxoll13: Bracelet is out! The bomb brass!
Fall down the coward, raise the anchor!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147013
 03.12.2017
Yyy: I don’t even remember that it was snowing like this in early December.

YYY: Yes in October

xxx: All Central Russia in Two Messages

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147012
 03.12.2017
Someone is inclined to unthinkable actions, but not I. I am inclined to unthinkable inaction. The further, the more.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147011
 03.12.2017
Romance in fairy tales is censorship. They scattered her - and even the guards shouted: parents voluntarily give their own children, in order to take away responsibility for their crimes, or even just chase them into the woods, because there is nothing to feed (you really believe that the medieval peasant had so much power over her husband to force him as a maid to throw out his children in the absence of common?Hero-lovers quietly climb/fly the cockpit in the window to the unmarried girls, struggle the child, and the "criminals" are appointed sisters or guardians who protected the fool from shame at the time very serious, the princes-necrofetists buy a crystal tomb with an absolutely unfamiliar body of a beautiful woman to decorate their interior (pure luck, that on the way collapsed), but at least after the resuscitation of the corpse of Vryastskaya are ready bridesmaids on the fact that the fool knows how long she lived in the cottage with seven men (contrary to the disorder, the courtyards were by no means petty gnomes, and in the Russian version there are generally wealthy, there, though Eliseus with a sign of a coward and

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №147010
 03.12.2017
From the corporate mail of the university: "... The planning department is waiting for new statements from department employees who wish to reduce their annual rates again."
Pilate, simply "suffering, thirsty and suffering".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147009
 02.12.2017
and black

>> So here is the lock from below OBLIGATORY in any armored vehicle to evacuate the crew in case of a projectile hit

Through the Niva and Zapora lounges, the crew can only be evacuated in parts. After the shelling, that will be the case.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147008
 02.12.2017
The signal for anyone to open the door, the sirene worked and a message or call came to the phone.
SMS is better. "Sorry, but I’m clinging to someone else. This is your own" :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147007
 02.12.2017
xxx> We watch movies in the kitchen, delicious, all things.
Brother went to the bathroom - see, it is closed, and the light is burning there. Back to the kitchen.
Battya went to the bathroom - see, it is closed, and the light is burning there. Back to the kitchen.
Mom went to the bathroom - see, it's closed, and the light is burning there. Back to the kitchen.
I went to the bathroom - I see, it's closed, and the light is burning there. Back to the kitchen.
xxx> Here is such a bright and intelligent family of four people.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147006
 02.12.2017
A resident of the UK discovered in the fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty” the propaganda of rape and demanded to remove this work from the school program for the primary classes. The woman was outraged by a scene in which the prince kisses the sleeping princess in the lips without asking her consent.

Would she know that in the original fairy tale he raped her, the girl had twins and she woke up from the fact that one of them was drying a poisoned finger... And then went with the whole family to break up with the brother, who after such proposals got married.

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