bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146545
 17.11.2017
Sechin confused the court and divorced Ulyukaev.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №146544
 17.11.2017
The preamble.
Behind the window is a school stadium, where in the morning people torment themselves with running and other physical training. The younger generation, not yet concerned with pressure / cholesterol / arthritis / shortness of breath, runs around the corner on the shifts, smoking cigarettes.
The Ambulance.
The next day, coming out of the entrance, I encounter a bunch of girls running out to fuck on the change. They have a tragedy: they are all missing. The most uncomplexed, having put all their craftsmanship into action, rush to the man who cleans the car nearby: Mushchka :) serve a cigarette :) :)...
The man is sad: You would quit smoking, girls. You still have children to give birth!
Nymphs embarrassed but with a challenge in response: “Is it about you?”
The man, breathing, cried out: When this touches me it will be too late.
He continues to clean the car.

I know this man. Pathologist from the hospital.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146543
 17.11.2017
The exhibitionist accidentally found himself on a nudist beach and lost the meaning of life.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №146542
 17.11.2017
You accidentally don’t want to explain – what do you do and why?
- I am not by chance, I absolutely consciously do not want to explain exactly to you - what I do and why.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146541
 17.11.2017
This is:
Logic of stupid shit. Those like you, even being stuck barefoot in bed with a lover, will smash it out, it’s not what you think, dear, it’s just my friend, we’ve been hot. The man came to the bride, found her some left-handed man in the house, and it is not visible that the bride was at least somehow frightened, upset or worried about this. His stay in the house is pleasant. Completely logical questions are beginning to arise. And then she begins to regret him. How to call it?

Basic logic of the male Babuin. The bride can not have friends, relatives, colleagues, but just random acquaintances who for a million reasons could be at her home? Are you the only man she has the right to communicate with? I know of one religion where women have fewer rights than livestock, and the fierce females regard it as their inseparable property, but we, fortunately, do not.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №146540
 17.11.2017
Human foreign rabbits at the airport in front of the sterile zone put a mailbox and a machine selling envelopes so that those deer who forgot to put out their favorite hook key before the flight could send it home by mail.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146539
 17.11.2017
Yes, it's all understandable - cleaning, ham, the boy washes for two hours...
Can you tell me what to do with a crazy cat that begins to scream when I talk to the customer on Skype, or goes to the bowl when I just sit down to eat?? to

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146538
 17.11.2017
The Medsrach
In 2014, WHO included Arbidol (umifenovir) in the ATH (International Classification of Medicines) in the group of drugs
– is
I see, Madame Arbidol is really here. Registration of the drug and its inclusion in the classification of the UN or even the Intergalactic Union has nothing in common with proof of its effectiveness.
There is no international evidence of the effectiveness of Arbidol on Pabmed. 146% of ollo-research and articles - Russian Federation.
However, in the Russian Federation and sugar under the name oxylococcinum helps - before still charged from the healer in the TV water helped, but the water at least was relatively free.
Lurk - Fuflomycin in aid. Do not get sick.

[ + 41 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146537
 17.11.2017
The Russian man does not need anything American, we have eaten our potatoes for thousands of years!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146536
 16.11.2017
The two most... ridiculous ones. The strange ( The rejections I received in the interviews sounded like this:
“You’re not worthy to work as a programmer in our company because you don’t have a car.”
2) “You don’t fit us because you don’t even have a webcam on your laptop”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146535
 16.11.2017
111: And no one knows who crashed the Crypto Pro site?
Why is external influence necessary? I believe in them, they themselves.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146534
 16.11.2017
When cloud technologies grow too much, they become fat.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №146533
 16.11.2017
The shepherds are sold. Not a dog but a club dog. Ordinary dogs stand at the border of the battalion. Today brought potatoes, was a witness to how another puppy found a master.
A very wicked uncle, on a jippe (injury - the whole entrance barred) picked a covet and mated in half a voice.
The essence of the claims to life: the wife wants either a Persian bulldog, or a Madagascar sheep, or a Vietnamese chicken.
As a child, I dreamed of a sheep. That’s why I can’t buy myself not so that everyone will envy me, but so that my dream will come true. The pain for their money.
Yeshiva, he is right.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146532
 16.11.2017
What do you know about mad love? Under the windows of the neighboring house on the asphalt two inscriptions with one hand. The first is "I love madly", the second is "I don’t even want to eat".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146531
 16.11.2017
You know, equality is equality, but I’t want a burning house to come to extinguish a one-legged one (not in the sense of a high-tech prosthetic one, but in the sense of a firefighter on one leg and one armor, a daltonist driver was sitting behind the bus, and the laws were taken by an oligophren. In the same way, I would not like a person in a position associated with constant communication with people who, due to disability, communicates with people four times slower than a person without it. Just because it inhibits not only him, but everyone who is connected with him. And the bosses, customers and competitors somehow do not rush to tolerate such manifestations of tolerance.

In general, if it is simple and understandable - I am willing to spend an hour of my personal, non-working time communicating with such a person, but when the plan burns, I need to do something yesterday, and instead of doing the work that separates profits from losses, I wait for the end of the replica, my tolerance and education are severely tested.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №146530
 16.11.2017
My friends are on the bus. Husband and wife, both of the age, the most intelligent people among other things, and the husband is generally quiet. Here comes a girl at the stop, all of herself, and pushes a friend's wife quite rude, although the car is empty and there is no need for it.
To what she makes an observation and immediately hears in response a rough rumble, of course, she bursts out of indignation and with insult says to the girl that she said, shamefully so, the milk has not yet dried up on her lips, but so insults. And here, the man who still stands quietly, gives calmly:
It’s not milk...
He said it quietly, but many heard it - the whistle rose, and the deaf girl flew out at the next stop.
The husband later said he didn’t know how he got out.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146529
 16.11.2017
She: Forgive me for everything.
Dragonforce is OK.
She: What is good?
Dragonforce: Well, I forgive you.
You are an officer? I didn’t write to you to forgive me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146528
 16.11.2017
I gave my husband a light alarm a few years ago, as a result we woke up a month earlier to see how he imitates sunrise )))))). He did not act as a wake-up alarm.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №146527
 16.11.2017
Well...

You will tell me what to do with a pale cat that begins to moan and at all.

Cat castrate (I seriously: he will not be offended).
Stir on a silicone filler. This will reduce the odor from the pot and reduce the regularity of its cleaning.
Move from kitteket and pork to normal feed with the addition from fecal onysm (fluid do not think that this is the criterion of feed norms. This is the Yokka Cat standard. where then 300-400 re per cat per month and no shit in the composition. I personally feed a Canadian GO but the price is not for everyone).
Regularly feed the cat his food on schedule and give nothing more, even if he asks. After some time, the cat will learn from the unplanned bite and stop asking for it.
Install ventilation in the toilet.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146526
 16.11.2017
My grandmother still doesn’t know that I’m doing Thai boxing. When asked where Natasha was going, my dad replied, “Well, she has some RINGS there.”
Hi, I am 22 years old, and I am going to the circle of beating mord

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