bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146745
 24.11.2017
I thought I was accustomed to the vocabulary of AliExpress and it would be hard to surprise me. But today I stumbled upon the "black anal shower cleaner". I still think. This is the Chinese Inquisition.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146744
 24.11.2017
The Hicks, discuss a man who, after confirming the concept of a flat Earth, decided to first take off on a rocket assembled by his own hands, and then descend with a parachute.

Aaa: It would be even worse if he survived after that flight and would tell everyone that it was flat!
BBB: Imagine he’ll say this after flying the rocket, and he’ll be called the second Jesus.
ccc: He will be called the second Jesus if an epic parachute makes a “up”...
ddd: The flat earth is the flat Jesus.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №146743
 24.11.2017
Interesting topic

They should not leave offspring.

Who does not owe?
The disabled? Ugly people? Sick with diabetes? Probably a little earned? Or those who wear clothes? Or those who are not hungry?
What if only one of the potential parents is a dude? Is it possible to have a slight degree of bullying? If, for example, I use my toilet only tooth powder, can I reproduce? Are there any objective criteria for evaluating bullying? Or just subjective? If they are subjective, whose? Who will decide? Collegiate or single body? The Electoral? If elected, will the votes of those "electors" who will be recognized as debboebs in the future be cancelled? Will the voting result be retroactive? Can you vote, but children can’t?
I would love to know the answers to at least some of the questions. thank you.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №146742
 24.11.2017
The Fat Troll:
Who was looking for a smiley with square eyes? Hunting to:
# # #

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №146741
 24.11.2017
XX: Large corn filler for rats
XX: Cat Fillers
XXX: The Cocktail
Chapter 8: The suitcase
What kind of fillers for cats?
XXX: Anyone
WOW: Is it exactly?
XXX: exactly
XX: Them, Hychy, to fuck
Tagged: funny

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №146740
 24.11.2017
Regarding the children:
I walk out my 2 dogs in the morning, I walk past the school, a girl stands with a backpack the size of herself + a bag in her hands. I look at this dialogue:
Q: Are these both your dogs?
I am: Yes.
Do you like taxis?
I: My wife loves them very much.
Q: It means she loves, and you walk?
I am : ahah!
In principle, it is logical...

It’s somewhere in the DNA.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №146739
 23.11.2017
News of GT: "Supporter of the “Flat Earth” will hold the launch of the rocket on Saturday"
The comments:
xxx: I predict the following news: “Mike Hughes crashed during the launch.”
YYY : No. “The evil conspiracy scientists from NASA made an accident to an honest amateur who threatened to expose the world’s conspiracy.”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146738
 23.11.2017
There was nothing.
It was, but it was not us.
But not specifically.
Special but not harmful.
Harmful but not deadly.
What can be done in 2016 and not in 2017?

E – the evolution.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №146737
 23.11.2017
As one good man sang, "when you are going to drown, you will understand why you needed a shore."
And you will run like a cute - and to the church, and to the grandmothers, and to the extrasensors, and to the devils for the sake of even a miserable chance to change something. This is called hope and faith.
These two things are irrational in their essence.
To try to evaluate them from the point of view of household logic or benefits (things purely rational) is to demonstrate your own, gently speaking, stupidity and limitation ;-)

You know, it is very indicative that for you, the shark is something external: a goddess, a powerful uncle, an extravagant, a hellish. In general, in whole people with an internal locus of control, the fence is inside. But it’s hard to understand, of course, it’s not your home logic. Just believe that your childlike way of interacting with the universe is not the only possible.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146736
 23.11.2017
Employee

Park, all the phones are ringing at the same time, the phone call collapses, I get in touch, at the same time trying to finish the conversation at work, I miss, of course, I start the conversation with the phrase:
- Rinat, < cut off by censorship>!
(Absolutely indiscriminate voice of the old client) Good morning, Svetlana! I am glad to hear you too!
For the sake of God...
- Nothing, keep on, tell me better, let Rinata get less!

This means that my wife is a psychologist.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146735
 23.11.2017
zzz: I came up with a great idea for a film about Omsk.
Code name "14 authorized men".
Political psychological drama.
The competition committee is meeting to approve the list of candidates for mayor of Omsk. Thirteen of its members are confident that the Governor's Favourite and the Left Hren should enter it, but one has allowed himself to doubt...
zzz: Shooting requires jackets, some vodka and inflatable city council deputies.
zzz: I’ll list ideas that are too cool to ever be implemented.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146734
 23.11.2017
b: Arakhnids were bulleted by asteroids
S: They were OK with the target.
B: With the queen there was no such hnie.
A: With the King Sergei Palic or with the Queen of Spiders?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146733
 23.11.2017
XXX: What to do if I get stuck?
YYY: Did you swallow it? Or was Kitty awakened?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146732
 23.11.2017
I hate to ride buses, metro and go somewhere in the morning. I woke up, like all the norms, and after an hour such a fox stands up, pulls and says, "Soryan, I slept. What about the morning stand?"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146731
 23.11.2017
Watch "The Waterloo Bridge" The whole sad film did not leave me annoying, like a veil in a tooth, the feeling that there is some fish shade in the name of the main character of Myra. After the film was shaded: Mayra is mywa+ayra. And gave up.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146730
 23.11.2017
Giving the Heart
This problem has a simple medical solution. The heart is transplanted to the one to whom it is most suitable for antigen systems. and all! There can be no other options. So that it fits everyone straight - it doesn't happen. Maximum two, but with a disappearing probability.
I am still alive :)

by BES

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146729
 23.11.2017
JJJ: Money needs just as much as not to think about it. Not thinking where to get and not thinking where to invest.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №146728
 23.11.2017
Is this a kind of trolling?

Maybe, of course, and just a thick sketch, but the worst thing is that it used to be network trolls, cutting under fools, and now you are more and more likely to meet real fools on the network, and they are actively writing in it. Admire at least the hot spells in the youthub sector, and then imagine for a moment that all these people are quite alive and real, and not even bots (although, seemingly, a normal convicted person just can’t write that). And they walk around you every day, with some of them you even greet your hand, every day you see their neck through the party, or discuss how to close the file in the project, and some of them buy a video card and sausage, advise which rate is better to choose. And you can even have a great evening with them, having a good time at the club with all the pleasant continuation, ugu. and good night.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146727
 23.11.2017
Google completely deprived us of the romance of drunken three-hour arguments, I remember Daddy as he went on foot at night to another area for the encyclopedia, on the road convinced of his rightness returned and threw this encyclopedia to his friend, almost piercing his head, and now that, bowed down and broke up.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146726
 23.11.2017
I worked for a while as a courier in an online store. Work is not dusty, customers are constant, but not about it.

The daughter in the kindergarten had an open lesson, they were asked where your dad and mom work. So my daughter said with a clear conscience, "Papa gives people bags, they rejoice and give him their money."

P.S. The educators still decided to clarify with me later, what "fun bags" I distribute

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