bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145544
 12.10.2017
The devil is hidden in the details>
<Gorstjanikъ> usually in 4148 diodes or small SMD resistors

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145543
 12.10.2017
Fna is a character of ancient Greek mythology, a beautiful nymph.
The most famous myth about her and Apollo - persecuted by him, captured by passion for her, she - who promised celibacy, begging, was transformed into a laurel tree.

xxx: it seems I know where the expression "fake in bed" came from

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145542
 12.10.2017
Blindly :
I brought a system repair.
It’s from him, the fucker.
The body from the back is eaten, all in oxides and divorces.
Remove the side cover. I saw the bottom passed through.
The client, not embarrassed, explained: “Well, the cat has sucked in him for the last six months.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145541
 12.10.2017
Den Stranger: Here I look with the daughter of your My Little Pony and realize a terrible thing. The world is scary there. In each series there is a nuclear star. Then suddenly another unknown worm wakes up. Then the witches arrange the Buttle trying to find out whose horn is longer. That of the Evergreen Forest, which is simply a reserve of local problems, is another creature. And banal coupons there are not so rare. And as a result, the protagonist and her friends have to squeeze their teeth and tear the horse’s ass, overcoming like a company of spacemakers, bringing order and justice to a separate region, restoring the balance of the forces of good. Most importantly, look at your surroundings. It would seem like full idyll and pastoral. Yes, your mother, these pony live surrounded by a permanent star. They have already grown Zen at the very least, say you have to live on a full coil before the next apocalypse. What a magic of friendship. It is all a whisper and provocation.

Den Stranger: And yes, after such an expression, you no longer perceive the world of pink pony as an idyllic place full of goodness, peace and comfort. It is a mill universe of constant battles, battles and overwhelming pathos. It’s just made so that few people notice...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145540
 12.10.2017
If Malevich invented pixel graphics, then Warhol first began to apply color profiles, though, he somewhere channels traveled.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145539
 12.10.2017
Those who are afraid of spiders are called arachnofobes. Those who love spiders are called arachnophiles. What is the name of a person who is indifferent to spiders?
The Arachnops.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145538
 12.10.2017
In the tram came a woman in two glasses, one on the nose, the other in thick hair. The glasses look the same, the conductor is interested in:

Why do you have two glasses? With different units, right?

The woman changes her face, grabs her head and gives an epic phrase:

The Nuclear Coat! I thought I lost them! I even returned home from work for the second glasses!

Then, apparently, it reaches her, and she changes her face again and gives out a second, no less epic phrase:

Am I going to work half a day? ? to ? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145537
 12.10.2017
Repair of household appliances. We came to the application, the pump on the washing machine died, a man and a girl explained that they needed to check the pockets before washing and clean the filter for every tenth wash. The warranty is 6 months!!!! Months after 4 call for repeat, I look at the filter filled with all the stuff, I go to the man and say, "why don't you uncle listen to the advice!"

D: What advice do you give?

I: I told you to clean the filter! You approved well.

D: I was on a trip at this time!



I immediately shut my mouth, with the memory of faces I have a problem, as well as the names... there was a grave silence in the apartment. My wife got stuck in the corner at this time, and we were gathering the tools and already leaving. Then she called the operator a couple of times and cried out that we had destroyed her family.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145536
 12.10.2017
by Alexander Maximov:
But I would push away from practice. Well-known vegans made vegans from cats and did not give meat from birth. The cat did not grow up and became some time 2 less than usual.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145535
 12.10.2017
My homeopathy works great!
Have you done a double-blind test?
It only works on double-blind mice, and our homeopathy works on everyone!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145534
 12.10.2017
t_s_v: You can come up with a lot more, but the old Okkam has already got his shave and looks bad.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145533
 12.10.2017
The anecdote-instruction on the behavior of a Soviet Army fighter in the event that an atomic bomb explodes nearby is remembered.
> "What should be done in this situation first?"
> The correct answer: "The ACM must be held on an extended arm so that the drops of melted metal do not spoil the boots."

Imho, here it is better to remember another: And whoever is attached is sitting straight like the living.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145532
 12.10.2017
AAA: This is a full out!! to
AAA: today in the movie, film "Run on a Leather 2049"
AAA: In one of the moments from the back of the row an outrageous cry: "THIS IS WHAT YOU SEE!!! BABA-HOLOGRAMMA is an airless machine!!! And that to her husband, when she couldn’t date herself, the grandmother called, and you didn’t even let me drink beer with the men!and "
AAA: The hall was lying!!!))))))))))))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145531
 12.10.2017
The Quebec

Vegan preachers, go you all! In the tundra! At least for a year!

I promise to listen once again.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №145530
 12.10.2017
xxx: We are standing with a comrade somewhere in the center of Moscow, next to the adika storehouse, on the cross window. And our grandfather is in the spirit: in our time, such shoes were only buried, and you were taught to wear Pindos shoes, but it would be more convenient, you can not dress decently. And I was in a good mood... I say to my grandfather: “In the days of your great-grandfathers they wore pearls, and in the frog, and you? They grabbed costumes cheap, only if it was more convenient, thyfu, earlier in their time only the poor were buried.
Grandfather stood down a little and was confused.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №145529
 12.10.2017
- Well, give a bright example of our "special" mentality.
- Guards in our high school in the center of the city, where parents, among other things, invest a bunch of funds, do not allow small children to go to the toilet, who meet first-class children with their mothers. is not set. It is recommended to run to the nearest pay toilet within five hundred meters. A 2- to 3-year-old child should tolerate 10 minutes. Everything you need to know about our mentality.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145528
 12.10.2017
Lenta: "Vrio of the head of Dagestan promised to report for every budget ruble"
He asked for $50 million from the budget.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145527
 12.10.2017
I am standing at the stop, waiting for the tram. I look, it is going, really in the other direction, the route I need is lit on the dashboard, well, I think, the final in three stops, will now turn and go back. I wait 10 minutes, 20, 30, my route is not. I was bored and decided to walk towards the end of the tram. I go, there is no tram, I reached the end, and he is not there! I already have the thought that the tram failed to a black hole, or something paranormal... I went into the depot, asked, well, the tram could not disappear, and it turns out, this man drove to the end, there changed the route number to another and went back under another number, when I was still standing at the stop...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145526
 12.10.2017
Ohhhhhh Edó was killed. When will people learn not to randomly read unfamiliar words, but to check how they sound in the original language?
Oh well. And why? There is a Russian language, as it is customary to speak so and say so. You’re not talking machine, you’re talking machine. So here, it is customary to speak Abob, that is, it is accepted in Russian, and it does not matter how true it is in the original language.
Ohhhhhh machine = machine
Oh well. Well, then what word came from the Russian word "machine"?
and zzz. "Michael" is obviously

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145525
 12.10.2017
I can simply do two things at the same time: talk about being very busy and pretend to be working hard.

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