bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №29978
 13.05.2010
Peak of uncomfortable situation.
I sit in the park on the bench, some Mr. X fits.
Sasha in contact. He stretches out his hand to catch.
Married and natural.
Sorry I recognized. Moving in an unknown direction.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №29977
 13.05.2010
Going on a business trip.
Stay in a room with a beautiful girl.
Find out there is no contempt.

A strange... small... town... There are no 24-hour shops, casual passengers scratch even when trying to approach them. As a result, a gang of copters showed where there was a store (showed) then a kilometer across the crossed terrain back (fast... fast). Come to see what did not wait, fall asleep, go to smoke, get acquainted with another (neighboring number) to get out of her room in the morning, hit the first... get on the mouth... and all this in the eyes of the boss...


[ + 76 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29976
 13.05.2010
to this:
Australian scientists have proven that regular oral sex helps the body of a woman prepare for a future pregnancy. Statistics showed that pregnancies of women who frequently practiced oral sex went mostly without complications. What exactly explains this pattern, scientists have not been able to explain.

Thank you for the work done on behalf of the entire population :)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №29975
 13.05.2010
by JJ
When I see on the streets these little, miserable teenagers of uncertain sex with thin, strapped trousers with their legs, so they, the poor, want to feed cakes and drink compot.
Wow, stay away from the kids, they have yaga and rollton :D

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №29974
 13.05.2010
In the Brazilian Amazon, a tribe of Indians found to live secretly from the civilized world and know how to count only to three. This discovery was made by the American researcher Peter Gordon, who for a long time studied the customs of the "Pyrian" tribe, living in the debris of the Amazon rainforest.
The members of this tribe, still living in the Stone Age, use only three words to count objects. "Oh" means one, "Oh" (with emphasis on the last slang) means two...
The Indians had difficulty transferring the amount of fish they caught. If Gordon showed them four or five or six fish, the Indians always drew only three sticks, calling them "baagi", that is, many.
___________________________________
They live according to the binary system...the rest of the "baagi"... the hell is the tribe of the proghers - deserters.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №29973
 13.05.2010
Mother hangs her clothes on the lodge and says:
You have nine socks.
I feel like I have to justify myself:
Two on me.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №29972
 13.05.2010
A story from my deep childhood.
Early in the morning, they picked me up in the garden. Everyone is in a hurry and is late. Dad goes into the room, and I am still sitting in some trousers.
"Daughter, why are you still without pants?and "
I am not upset: "They fell..."
"Well, they fell – get up!"
"They fell on the lighthouse..."

c) Alice

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №29971
 13.05.2010
For excessive aggression, my brother (9 years) was sent to a school psychologist. The evening. My mother and brother’s conversation:
Q: What did you do there?
B: Nothing
M: How about nothing? What did the psychologist do?
The door barely passed by...

[ + 103 - ] Comment quote №29970
 13.05.2010
to this:
showed on the first channel. The thief broke into the country and exploded on the mine installed by the landlord. And now they will be judged for having someone exploded on his mine.
The country of idiots.
The thief survived and his leg was crushed.)
________________
Fuck, you can’t even put the mine. Where is the country going?! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29969
 13.05.2010
As a result of the special operation of the Ministry of Internal Affairs in the sandstores of the city of Moscow were detained dozens of minors participants of the action "blue cool".

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29968
 13.05.2010
AlexPianist
My parents are liberal - calm about what I drink and can drink a little with friends. Allowed to drink from childhood.

The Vampire
I have conservatives.
I’m getting caught up myself 😉

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №29967
 13.05.2010
"The fighting values of the ESA foreigners were different. The Skanderbeg Division, formed from Albanians, deserted after receiving the first salary.

They fought hard...)

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №29966
 13.05.2010
I try to take pictures with my friends at a distance so that I can cut myself off. Friendship ends and good avatars are always needed.)

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №29965
 13.05.2010
Morning, office and unworking mood. A pregnant woman is discussing her future motherhood. Talk about rhesus conflicts:
"I had a negative group all my life, and then I did the tests - positive. How is it?
Is her husband positive?
- Yes
So everything is right.
– to?? to
You drink your blood slowly.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №29964
 13.05.2010
Albinka (10:32:52 13/05/2010)
The vibrator broke so quickly. I used according to instructions. Not more than 14 hours a day.

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29963
 13.05.2010
Few people know that Sergey Zverev, it is not a "stylist", but a dumb Gay For Hair.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №29962
 13.05.2010
Children (9 and 6 years old) play and run around the apartment. They run into the room and close the door. I am knocking. Dialogue at the door:
Oh, we are being beat by Morse’s alphabet!
Not something, but the door!! to

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №29961
 13.05.2010
I got the microwave! The old already.
xxx: And if the center of gravity of the food does not coincide with the axis of rotation
XXX: She’s almost jumping on the table!
yyy: Now I know what balanced food is))))

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №29960
 13.05.2010
The Prehistory.
The windows of the cabinet go out to the corner above the entrance. On it before the holidays the farmer carries a flag, and after the holiday takes away.
The history.
The lunch break. I sit, self-forgotten in Unreal Tournament against the Blue, mission "catch the flag"(CTF). At this time the cabinet breaks in a blue combose, and with the words "I have a flag you will steal" swiftly pops out into the open window behind the flag :)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №29959
 13.05.2010
She says: Hi sir.
I: Oh... what? How did you say?
She is: Respon "Mr". I listen...
I am Fuck! I did not get anywhere! ))

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