bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №27728
 23.03.2010
Now I have a car! So I will come to you soon!! to
2 of oh! Have you bought a new car? O_O
The snow just melted, I found my own.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №27727
 23.03.2010
But the orthopedist just broke all the patterns: he asked who I was by the sign of the zodiac. And then the complaints and the purpose of the visit.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №27726
 23.03.2010
I realized that something was clearly wrong with me this morning when I made a screw on my head... with a screwdriver.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №27725
 23.03.2010
Comments on Russian Films:

Anonymous: The Russian forev. But this film does not entirely disclose the topic of fighting corruption and other presidential programs. The guys have to finish.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №27724
 23.03.2010
Today I read a long excerpt from the criminal case. Here her husband calls, and she, not yet moving away from the horrors read, says, "Dear, I cooked you a dead body with frigidels there."
The poor man was silent for three minutes.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №27723
 23.03.2010
at such rates bosh.org.ru can win in the nomination of the most ridiculous humorous site runet

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №27722
 23.03.2010
starpomster (16:03:05 22/03/2010)
German researchers have created the Artificial Smile camera, on which people always smile regardless of what their facial expressions were at the time of shooting. Thus, unlike conventional cameras with automatic retouching function, Artificial Smile changes the context of the image itself.

BlackBomber (16:03:35 22/03/2010)
Take a funeral with this camera.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №27721
 23.03.2010
A flash on the roof warns of a lack of conscience inside.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №27720
 23.03.2010
This characteristic and instructive story was told to me in the old place of work by an elderly colleague, a very good man. He worked in the institute for many years, came to be arranged there as a boy, immediately after Universe. And the director of the institute was then one of the most famous scientists.

Here, my colleague tells me, he meets me at the passing staff of my future laboratory. The corridors lead, the institute shows. And it does not even come out to meet us, but magnificently floats out full of importance and self-satisfaction, such a burdensome, solid gentleman.
It carries itself carefully, the pulse - forward, the lower lip is protruding, in general - very impressive. I said I was scared of little. He greeted me quietly and respectfully. He didn’t shake his eyes, he didn’t turn his head, he passed by. I ask, “Is this probably your famous director?” And the guest laughs: "Well what, he says, it is - yes, six, he sits in the accounting office, he writes for us." Well, no figured out, I think if they have six such as the director...

And then suddenly, out of the corner, some crazy stranger runs out, sings something quietly under his nose, carries around the corridor almost in a jump. I also greeted him, however, quite carelessly. He stopped, in a radiant smile disappeared, as if he had seen the best friend, cried out, "Hello! He continued to jump. I say, what else is that shit? The driver laughs again:
“That’s what our director is.”

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №27719
 23.03.2010
Husband and wife in the kitchen. Beyond the Wall:
The pythons!
Husband to wife:
- Turn on the telephone, I forgot, there are our players playing football.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №27718
 23.03.2010
Evreeq: We have a serious accounting. And a very fun manager Vladimir.
Evreeq: When a client comes and begins to tell a joke, he is stopped by a gesture and called Vladimir for internal communication.
Evreeq: He is coming. He laughs.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №27717
 23.03.2010
A friend who is currently serving
> and [xxx]
I’m already walking down the central street of the shelf with a hat on the back of my head and hands in my pockets.
> and
> well you guys))
> and [xxx]
And on the weekend I was in a sports suit, wearing a black adidas hat on the back of the head, looked in the mirror and almost gave the reflection of the phone.
> and [xxx]
> and :D

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №27716
 23.03.2010
On the first channel there was a report on the topic of "In California, some laws of physics do not apply in the mysterious forest."
Comments of Users:
"So what then? There are no laws in force in Russia at all".

[ + 116 - ] Comment quote №27715
 23.03.2010
to this:
I am writing here for the first time on the instructions of a Combat Comrade.
In general, I work in a hospital, and since there is no money to keep a regular administrator, in case of problems we call one guy, he also brings us movies music and games sometimes.
In general, all the next action our team decided to create after passing (and some lack of passing) a wonderful game of the second part of Silent Hill.
In total, I am + two colleagues and 9 cute girls.
Nurses are wrapped in bandages and imitating blood on clothes and faces, two colleagues are standing at shields on different floors to turn off the lights synchronously, I turn on radio interference speakers.
Max comes, the guard misses him and says that on the second floor in the most distant cabinet the printer does not work, Maximka comes checking - all the norms, leaves the cabinet... the lights are turned off, the interference, the cabinets are supposedly nurses, well in general the atmosphere is awful. In the eyes of the guy clearly read at first a misunderstanding and then a full ah"No;ye from the situation....In general, having overcome 20 meters in 3 seconds, jumping two! The table at a time, with the screams "Mlyajaja!!!!!" and breaking all known world records he flew out of the building.
So here... when after some time, and the efforts spent to catch Maxim, sat down and drank tea, and remembered our little joke, and watched the video of this action... then we were definitely lying in the whole hospital = ))))

A man puts a video on YouTube, let it all break.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №27714
 23.03.2010
Hungry student times:From the neighboring shelter invited friends to a grand drink,when pumped up to the state of blue tomatoes all sprinkled to drink a cup of tea,to the end of the drinking of tea became clear that there is no tea and in the morning will not be very good,here one of the guests says "Go to us,we will get you the tea in the window slide down you will catch" said done.Started by the crowd to them in the shelter,the shelter regime entrance after 22:00 only through the window,for people who know how to spit, the guests are trying to go to the second floor...so without a typical slide.On the watts all this is cut and called the police, the moment of arrival on the shuttle row saved, standing down?" beginning to squeeze slightly from greed, here from the window flows out a pack of tea... win-win I raise this is not a pizza... brought to the community, good then PPS was, with a sense of humor)))

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №27713
 23.03.2010
I go to my hometown of UdGU, catch up with the dean and hear a phone conversation:
Hello to Polina. Woke up? tried? and now to work quickly!

I think only students walk in pairs)))

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №27712
 23.03.2010
According to the legend, the table of Mendeleev first dreamed of Pushkin, but he did not understand.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №27711
 23.03.2010
And my 9-year-old daughter gave out that in the song of the Buyer she hears: "I never marry you, I better eat before sex my passport."
She had to explain the meaning of the word ZAGS, which she did not know before.

[ + 92 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27710
 23.03.2010
Russia became the first in the overall ranking of the Paralympics.
Let the Olympians be ashamed. People with disabilities, you are great! Keep it, we are proud of you!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №27709
 23.03.2010
xxx: You know, a year ago, one of my acquaintances blonde said to me "only of course a funny site, stories different, the latest news... there is something to read, just there would not be those stupid jokes about computers and programmers that I do not understand".
HH: I think it’s all right now...

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