bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №28918
 19.04.2010
I bought myself two shoes for work, placed them in the corridor next to the boots and boots. Dad passes by:
It is sweaty!! to
(Mom from the room)
My son got married O_O

You need to change something in this life... ><

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №28917
 19.04.2010
Poor children’s shops. Who will explain to them the sudden influx of adult men asking them to sell their little cockroaches?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №28916
 19.04.2010
[21:02] xxx: sex porn anal
Google: You confused me with another Google.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №28915
 19.04.2010
My romantic friend at the beginning of the dude process had the habit of disguising photos like:" Ah! What are you doing with me? Ah! What do you do to me! - in her words, men are just sexually wild from this pretty stupid - in my opinion - in the context of the situation of the matter.
Until one day the next MP did not answer her surprised and even suspended:" I? I fuck you, dear"
After this innocent response my friend broke into such rust.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №28914
 19.04.2010
I work as a referent and simultaneously as a translator of the head of a large company. Therefore, I am often addressed with the most diverse questions everyone is not lazy.
I came to work yesterday, and a girl from the marketing department is already waiting for me. It holds a certificate and a metal pen. It says: "This is the holder of the price, we need to insert it into the meat products on the showcase, the manufacturer company sent us a certificate on the composition of the metal in English. Check out and see if it’s true". I translate the certificate. The certificate says it is stainless steel that can be used in the food industry. There are people from the translation department coming to me. They look at the bottom and say that the appearance is not steel at all. We send it for analysis to our lab, and we get the answer that this alloy can not be used in the food industry at all.
Here we start preparing claims to the supplier.
Half an hour later, the girl returns from marketing to find out how things are going. We tell her what we were able to find out, we show the "outlet" and explain that it is not possible to use it on the window. And then the girl timidly says, "Oh, you know, I lost the real sample, but on my toy machine on the desk was inserted a similar one, I brought it to you. I didn’t know you would send it to the expert:))))"

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №28913
 19.04.2010
I will become rich, I will build a church, a casino.
YYY: Why
xxx: A casino for rest and a church for a lot of money.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №28912
 19.04.2010
here here :
And another question:
Very interesting, the phrase "and I tomato" is written each time by the same person or different??? to
_________________________________________
It is not written by a person but by a tomato, possibly different.


[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №28911
 19.04.2010
What do you think you should do when three loadspeople and your uncle find a bright pink condom under your bed?

is correct. I am pleased to say: Oh! And we were looking for him.

And then I thought to add, there was another good.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №28910
 19.04.2010
From the chat Legends in Contact:

XXX: How long have you been playing?
YYY: I contacted electricity a month ago. I’ve been playing since then.)
xxx is? What did he do before?
YYY: He lived a normal life.

[ + 79 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №28909
 19.04.2010
xxx is. And what is the deadly dose of dimedrol so shabby drink and never wake up?
That guy left me yesterday.
I cried all night.
I do not know how to live further.
I want to drink and forget and die.

and AAA. Drink the whole bottle, you will not be mistaken.

The BBB. Better not to!!!I still need you!!He is not worthy of that!!! to

and ccc. Better purgen try it, it helps change the system of values.

[ + 88 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №28908
 19.04.2010
My parents are 44 years old, I am 22.
Today I told them that they were walking until the middle of the first night, and they didn’t take the keys with me, so I had to wait for them (and I really wanted to sleep), then said that when they came at night they cooked pasta and dropped all the dirty dishes on the table next to the dishwasher. Then in the morning they jumped up at 9, drank tea, did not take off the table, turned on all the TVs in the house and went to bed again. As I walk past their room, I hear the following dialogue:
My mom is a puppy!! HAHAHA
Whoever calls himself as he calls himself!!! hihihi
I don’t complain, I like everything, but sometimes the thought is stolen, maybe I miss something.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №28907
 19.04.2010
XXX: We had an earthquake again (up to 5 points)
YYYYYYYYYYYY On what scale?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №28906
 19.04.2010
Carmela: I’m not very familiar with bees, but the guard in our country holds the bees. He is telling very strange things. Last year, wild (or, rather, stinking) bees arrived, killed all of his domestic bees and settled in his branches. They don’t give honey. What a story is unclear.
BM: This is a federal program for the resettlement of beekeepers from SKFO 2010.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №28905
 19.04.2010
Remembering and pronouncing the name of "the volcano itself" is very simple! You just have to imagine this name in the form of an unscrupulous dialogue!
I am a fiat!
– Oh! by KUDL?

[ + -10 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №28904
 19.04.2010
There are no unsuccessful situations, there are people who have dropped their hands.
Nick Blue

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №28903
 19.04.2010
In a deserted courtyard, a guy is talking on a mobile phone. There are two city sanitarians passing by - bombs with a pack of aluminum pots and large pieces of armor in their hands. One of them, pointing to the side of the guy, asks the other:
Need a tube?
He sneezes and, squeezing with the armaturin, moves onto the guy. The guy is silent in half a word, cramped, apparently looking for either a way to escape, or a protective tool, while trying to push the phone into his pocket. Bohm is inclined, picking up a piece of water pipes rolling at the boy's feet and the procession is removed, staringly looking at the territory. He is nervously smoking.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №28902
 19.04.2010
Why Peter’s prostitutes don’t get offended when they hear the phrase:
“The Peter’s Fools?”
Because they know it’s not about them.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №28901
 19.04.2010
This kind of thing is only possible in Russia.
So tell me, is it normal in the dormitory of the police academy to run into an open window from the 8th floor? And not just to scratch, but to carry a targeted fire on the head of the colonel bypassing the territory on the perimeter of the shelter... So this is what, when the colonel was caught with a projectile, he called the criminals to calculate from which floor, which room and who did it. And what’s most interesting is that the "shooter" found...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №28900
 19.04.2010
M.P.T
People who are afraid of homosexuals are homofobes.

M.P.T
Are people who love homosexuals homosexuals?

Blackheart
People who love homosexuals are pirates.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №28899
 19.04.2010
From the Dairy:

I went to my sister yesterday. She decided to drink wine with her husband (without her, because she was pregnant). I went to the store where they kept alcohol (and there was a lot of it). And my sister, for the convenience of not having to get every bottle and turn to see what it is, glued onto all the bottles sticker type "licor such", "whisky saki", "red dry", "white semi-sweet" and so on. But since in the warehouse in addition to the shelves with alcohol is stored all kinds of household appliances, on all this sister's husband glued sticker with the inscriptions "I swab", "I laundry", "we clothes", "I water heater". But the top of it was a single tomato lying on the shelf with the inscription “I am a tomato... I was crying, Sasha is a genius.”

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