At each intersection there must be a notary, a notary and a father.

One Russian comrade decided to save a penny and went to rest wildly to some deaf Italian village in the area of Naples (a well-known dwarf). On the first night, all the mirrors of the side view were blinking from his car. Discovering the missing, the man ran to the owner of the removed house with a rhetorical question: "How is it?" The owner looked, scratching the tail:
"Indeed, it does not climb into any framework - in our village, nobody rides on Renault from the locals!" Then I thought a little more and breathed with relief: "No, everything is okay - such mirrors can be adapted to the Fiat!"

Man wandered in the desert for three days, suffered from thirst, almost lost all hope. Suddenly he hears, “Yah! “Yahah ha!”
He raises his eyes and thinks it’s a mirage: an Eskimo runs in a dog’s whip. To the surprise of the unfortunate san stops in front of him.
I don’t know how or why you’re here, but thank God. Addressing the Eskimo.
and desperate. I thought I’t get out of here alive. I am three days
I wander in the desert.
Responding, the Eskimo replies:
So you, my friend, have gotten stuck! Did you get lost?! to

to this:

Moscovites, say, and you have in the subway all the aunts sitting in the boxes of the turnikets such disgusting and arrogant hatred? It was the first time I was in the subway and confused the name of the station when I asked her how to go, the old lady answered with such an expression of the face as if the fuck was fuck.
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Since I was a child, I have lived in Moscow and understood that 90% of Moscovites suffer from Wachter syndrome.

to this:
It has happened!!! to
My Quote from the Abyss by "Komsomolskaya Pravda"
The sweet taste of recognition!

I also received a prize for your quote, thank you!! to

to this:
People, I go on a business trip, my phone is broken, I write with a companion in a coupe. Bring your wife through the top!! to
Natasha, congratulations on coming March 8, I can't call - see above. On the shelf above my computer desk in a Linux book lies a hole - 7500rub. Buy yourself a gift. Kissed by Lion

*************
Thank you, I bought a cross for spring, an external hard and a wash.
Artem, the friend of Natasha.

Go to Google "How do I solve all my problems". Pressed "I am lucky"... The article opens "Death as the solution to all problems"

In my distant childhood, I was troubled by the question: who is depicted on the logo of the TV company VID?" My childhood brain decided that it was our then president Yeltsin, though not in his best day. I still can’t get rid of that impression.

I congratulate all girls, girls, women and grandmothers - you are fighting for femininity in this world, as well as gays - honorary workers of the rear!

to this:
to this:
Few people know that if you attach your ear to the vagina, you can hear the noise of the sea.
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Holy Hui from the Underground, you would see how she looked at me after my request, szuco :(
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Few people know that if you dedicate a lamp in the eyes of the authors of these quotes, you can see the back wall of the skull.

From the report:
The Aborigines met James Cook with bread and salt.

Do not turn your nose that caps, so you need to:

Before a man dies, his whole life actually passes before his eyes. This process is called “life.”" (c) Terry Pratchett (character Death)

Cap is calm.

Such comments...

One of them, comrades! Stop this nonsense!
The Tambov wolf is your companion.
The Wolf of Tambov: Fuck how you fucked...

In the United States, 90% of 100-dollar bills contain traces of cocaine. I think in Rossi, on 99% of strobable bills you can find traces of fat from whiteheads.

to this:

The people! Have you noticed that in the "Komsomolk" instead of boring anecdotes began to print quotes from the BOR?! to
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No is. We noticed that in BORE instead of funny quotes began to post UG, worthy of "Komsomolki".

Odin, the cat and the shredder. and Hui. 0 - O

07.03.10 Nikita: How is the mood in the morning?
07.03.10 Polynika: Very much nothing) And you?
07.03.10 Nikita: And I do not have very much) As the current woke up, I slipped out of the bed and walked on the cat >__< As he walked, I walked even louder. I don’t have a cat, I drove it out, I’m in shock now.

Only in the CIS countries is a holiday "With the coming!!and "

Commander: I used to think that in Modern Toking a guy and a girl sing.
I liked the girl.)

The Germans are burning.
I go into the store, see the Germans standing, picking water. And what they do not take is not gased. One aunt reads and publishes: "Made in Ukraine. Of course, the water is not gased. They do not have their own gas". Ruth is leaving. I guess nobody understands them.)

Yesterday I set up satellite internet for a nice woman. She has a first-class son. And I look at him tormenting the keyboard, and ask the question: "Do you not want to become a programmer?", to which the child answers with a serious look: "No, I don't want to, I'm still normal!"
It made me think...