Take me to our Olympic hockey team, I can’t play too!! to

After condemning Plushchenko, I propose – on the rights of the country’s host of the 2014 Winter Olympics – to send the gold medal in figure skating to American athletes in advance, by mail. The Americans are not invited to the competition themselves - the judges are bought anyway. It was noted that all the sports successes of Americans are in sports where the judges play a decisive role, not the secondometer (or the mass of the projectile, the range of throwing, the accuracy of the shot). Don’t believe, remember Nemo.
And I worship that they worship.

Today I learned that on the new job they do not know how to update antivirus and therefore regularly buy a new licensed version

The case told:
We went to an animal circus in Ufa last summer, I don’t remember what it was called. So, there was heat and the elephants needed to be washed... And they were taken to the river. We took a bath in the morning and it was all.

Now the story of the witness:

I drank with my friends at the company. In the early morning, I decided to take a bath. have arrived. They saw elephants... Besides the desire to swim, the desire to drink and smoke also fell.

Proch: Lech, what do you think is the biggest problem when colonizing other planets?
Organism: Jews and Gypsies

Please give me my salary today.
You will come tomorrow and take it.
I will not be able tomorrow.
That’s why more
I have a salary today, I will eat.

Madzadrot+

The Olympics have begun?
yyy: the march and our athletes do not know that it is going at all

Xxx: set the task to train staff to blind printing
Xxx: took the strip, blurred all the middle row to start

Incredible country Russia - more and more pharmacies, and less and less healthy!

The real story. From the words of the daughter (working in Domodedovo on passenger registration). They have a boss, the aunt is very strict and demanding.
For the slightest deviation from the instructions, the girl is severely punished. Somehow she is conducting classes on innovations in registration. For this they have a special website with a training flight. For some reason, my aunt could not open this site. Flight registration was carried out at
Kishenev and she decided to show changes on a live flight. For this, the first two names that hit the head in the flight. In her head came Pushkin and Lermontov. At the end of the class, because of his forgetfulness, he did not remove his name from the flight. Of course, the girls at the landing, when they saw the extra coupons, understood what it was, but decided to act strictly according to the instructions. As a result of the loud-speaking communication 3 (three times) in Russian and the same in English (a foreign trip) the following announcement sounded:
Passengers of Pushkin and Lermontov departing by flight to Chisinau are requested to approach the flight registration desk. The airport lay.

What is so pleased?
- The mother-in-law on the 23rd spinning carbon plastic presented.
So she hates you!? to
And I had a few days of gundosil: I hate carbon-plastic spinning! No is
God give me a plastic spinning!

Amani: I have a depression beginning.
We need to find the MMC.
Looking for a small member?
Amani is stupid.
VoVa: a stupid little member?? to
Amani is you!! to
VoVa: I am a stupid little member????????? to

"It would be better to close the prosecutor’s office on the decision of the torrent tracker"

From Forum
YOzhik: When my girlfriend after three years of living together told me that when I saw somewhere in my childhood in the apartment a mouse nest with newly born mice, she killed them with a hammer, I realized that I didn't know her so well :)

Dear brothers, save the poor striped cat! He was sitting and crying around my inst, green-eyed, pink-smelled, like Boris from a kitchet advertisement! I can only live a day, my grandmother's allergy! Very gentle and mourning! He says "Murma" so polite if he asks for something. Help, guys, and a large striped kitten, whose year is in the yard, will reward you for kindness! Write to me on scarly dog inbox point. The cat is waiting for the owner.

Military is burning...
Instructions for additional examination:
"Send to the endocrinologist and PROTOCTOLOGIST consultation to confirm the diagnosis of CHRONIC BRONCHITIS".

I would be married to Kurt Cobain ?
Yyy, he knew, so he shot himself earlier.

Valentina: so you didn’t even get distracted by morning sex? ?

Katya: Sex that they try to make at 6 in the morning with me can officially be considered dendrophilia)))

I think it’s time to get the gendons out of the bag.
I have not had sex since I put them there.
XHH: Yes, and the validity period may have expired =(

When I was a kid, I was convinced that the president, like a fairy tale king, could take any money from the treasury. I have grown up and nothing has changed. :)