There is a woman working in the company (a blonde). Here she also works and her boyfriend now looks like a former (hereinafter a Boyfriend). This guy is always shaved dressed with a needle behaves as a white-handed well typical "Metrasexual".
  Well we sit down for lunch and ask "Blondine, guy is your metersexual?and "
The blonde turned red, embarrassed and seriously said - "No, he (boy) is not like him, he just has a lot of friends."
We start roasting who is just hicking who is already drowning. The blonde understood what she was walking and added "No, I didn't understand the word from the first time. Now it all settled. And so unexpectedly continued - "It looks like he is metrosexual and in fact there is a long way to the standard 15cm!".

10 years ago I read a Japanese car dealer’s advertisement about UAZ. It is hard to believe, but it is a modern Russian car with a carburetor engine! There is no condoshine, no hydroamplifier, no ABS, no... in short, no shit in it! When moving in the cabin is too noisy, and if you move outside of the asphalt, then dusty. Fuel consumption is enormous and so on throughout the page, and in the end: but this car has 3 advantages over all Japanese all-roads - it is super passable, super durable and, imagine how curious and confused other participants of the road will look at you!

People who gathered near monuments, parks, etc...Well how? Has anyone left there alone?

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He looks at me with food.
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When it is easier for people to do differently, they introduce rules.

The audience dropped out of the theatre after the premiere. At this time, a late television group arrives. A young journalist with a microphone nervously screams around the crowd with a glance: who would take a flash interview. The former operator suggests: take, who will have - what we need to leave, what we do not need to cut. Here, right on her, a roasted middle-aged hairdresser, who is madly delighted with the fact that the television camera lens looks in her direction.
The journalist sweeps a microphone under her nose, which this grandmother was trying to, and asks, "What did you get from attending the show?" Meanwhile, she is not alone, next to her, probably a husband, in the appearance of a worker, whom his wife pulled out to this theater, and to him this event is entirely to the fancy. But since the man is noticeably subdued, he patiently bears it all and during the interview cries and looks somewhere to the side. And then the journalist swings and the microphone under his nose: “What did you take out?” – “I? A man is surprised. “Where from?”
“From the theater,” somewhat confusedly presses the girl’s shoulders. “He did not endure anything. There is bigger. On the contrary, I brought it. It is taught...”

When Sergey Zverev went home to the maslenica, he was twice taken for a chubby and tried to burn.

Are you lying at work too?
No, I’m rather afraid that the employer won’t believe that such perfection exists. Therefore, when filling out the questionnaire, I attribute to myself a few shortcomings.

One New York doctoral student who did not receive funding for the project
social research, costing the budget significantly below 100
of dollars.
He ordered a tube of super glue and 10 desperate red tablets with the inscription:

Do not try to break this window with your head!
It is impossible!

The scientist independently uncovered these tablets on the supermarket windows.
different areas of New York.
A month later he conducted an inventory of the consequences, contacting the
relevant supermarket services.

The absolute record was set by the Irish district of the city.
It has been struck 32 times! The only successful attack was
originated from the USSR, and in a relatively prosperous region.
The city. It was a 52-year-old bald programmer.
He was the only one who attacked the wrong window near which the red window was hanging.
the table, and moved on three slopes to the left, where, as it turned out, the window
It was a reserve evacuation exit.
Non-traumatic, easily breaking plastic glass. Employees
The supermarket claimed that the difference between the windows on the outside can be noticed.
was almost impossible. But, as they say, intelligence is intelligence. by
The offer to pay for the broken window this frame was rugged and showed
The red sign.

What happened next will seem to be a fiction for all mentally normal people.
Citizens living outside the United States. This is an effective country.
of management.

In all countries try not to violate the PDD, and only in us - to fuck the cameras

In Saratov, the bridegroom drunk on the way to the ZAGS and robbed the store. You are Chelyabinsk.

I clean up potatoes for dinner, I think: these two said to me, three more to you. She cut everything, threw it into the pot, her husband, looking into the pot, was so upset: fucking, where are my ones now?

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My sister c told me. She has a wavey poppy (p). He goes into the kitchen and sits on his shoulder. The further dialogue:
Q. Are you smoking?
No, I clean the potatoes.
c) The sound

And before, they were riding on buses and rejoiced when the driver overcame other buses.
All the buses knew in the face, and there were favorite buses that always traveled fast =) And when two buses arrived at the same time, you sat in your favorite bus.

What Russian "good" - English "horror show"

Chuvakou, who was looking for a book about the inventor-failed, who was drunk creating different units, and then could not understand what he created and why. I had a lot of trouble because of that.
The inventor was named Galloway Gallager. The book is called "This is my world". Not a book, but a cycle of stories.
Bring to the sufferer, really a rubbish book :)

The crew, returning from the flight, told about the An-12 in one of the African ports. Each of the ten wheels of the aircraft was half painted in white – as if a crazy painter had split each wheel in half in diameter and painted only one half. Everyone wondered who and why painted the wheels.

They were not surprised for long. Going outside the territory of the airport, they saw a flower bowl, broken under the USSR. The Klumba was traditionally enclosed with spinning wheels, half digged into the ground. The overground part of the wheels is painted in white. Lots of wheels were missing.

Do you know the conditions for receiving maternity capital? Their author, probably, ballet from the "Three of Prostokvashino", from the place "I brought you the package, but I will not give it to you"...

I go with a girl to me today. And I have posters from the old owners in the tambour, where we take off the shoes, Britney and some other grandmother.
A girl showing her grandmother:
She has no breasts, even smaller than me.
And then to Brittany:
And this one has a chest – separate it!