bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №22548
 16.11.2009
I read in one of the newspapers "answers to the crossword published in advance. The number" Aprikosov-monster-army-soldier-shock-kalina-auto-horror-deva-sex-petrosian-beak I think he wanted to say something.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №22547
 16.11.2009
I think it’s time for my daughter to cook.)
Alex: and how to cook there. said: - pot cooking. he is cooking. :)
Demon: )))) The thing is that the pot is me... And I have already been told)))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №22546
 16.11.2009
by Epic Feel:
I left a puppy for the summer, then a cat. The cat ate the poppy and washed. I owe a puppy and a cat.

Tank_East

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №22545
 16.11.2009
XHH: Probably there is a special spam for heads of state, such as to increase their membership in NATO by 10 cm.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №22544
 16.11.2009
Democracy is when the function of the shepherd lies on the lambs.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №22543
 16.11.2009
And I know who made the movie "Tomorrow Will Be Tomorrow".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №22542
 16.11.2009
The easiest thing is to forbid yourself to do what you can’t do.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №22541
 16.11.2009
My mother burned:
He knocks at my room and says:
- daughter you want to eat, I accidentally cooked the borst here - so delicious it turned out!
It turned out that she struck the vegetables, but something went wrong with Voila-Borst!

[ + 72 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22540
 16.11.2009
Russian car company.
I remembered how I repaired my first foreign mark.
My new Korean unit began to give strange knocks while driving, which caused me to worry. An obvious reason for a visit to the company service. In the service, careful mechanics in clean firm combinations, which was very pleasant after strange personalities in the VAZ service, quickly found a reason. The rear amortizers - summarized by the master, we change according to the guarantee. have changed. But the knock did not disappear. have thought. Gathered a consilium. I was driving a long time, listening. Changed something else. It seemed even worse. Some mechanic was shouting - well, this shit is knocking, look. Changed the shit. The Untold. Everything is free, with a guarantee. The guarantee master, indeed, after each replacement darkened his face. It was six o’clock, I began to lose hope and patience when after another replacement something was brought to Uncle Vasya.
Uncle Vasya was strikingly different from other employees of the service. He was dressed in the same shirt as the others, but it was obvious that he was eating, working, taking a bath, sleeping, and obviously wherever he could, but mostly drinking. Uncle Vasya was deadly drunk, and from his upper lip hanged a dried dough.
The car seats were covered with a film, Vasu was placed inside and driven. Not sinking, said Uncle Vasya, going out and trying to fall asleep standing, does not affect the speed. However, his colleagues did not allow him to rest. Then Uncle Vasya took the key and put it under the hood. To the timid attempts of the others to say that he was knocking from behind, he responded scrupulously, heavily, four-story. Three minutes from underneath the cap were heard knock-outs, bumping, cries. Then with the words, “Well, fuck,” Uncle Vasya dropped the key and turned off finally.
Guided by the apologizing eyes of all the service staff, I sat in the car and made an honorary circle around the courtyard.
The knock stopped.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №22539
 16.11.2009
Sergeant Petrenko You are not sober!
- Why am I not sober, here is the pharmacy, here is the passport, here is the belt
and security.
Are you going to argue with Sergeant Gai? You are not sober.
Let us understand. Is there a pharmacy? Is there a passport? Is there a belt?
There is even a towel. Why am I not sober?! to
Where is the car?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №22538
 16.11.2009
From a real sociological survey:

Question: "What anti-corruption measures do you find most effective?"
The answer is: the paddle.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №22537
 16.11.2009
I asked an acquaintance in Azka:
Throw out the logically unnecessary word - vodka, beer, babies, sache
Well, yes, he threw out the sachet, and I told him the right babies because all the rest are alcoholic drinks. In response, he wrote that I am a pidor and removed me from the contact list, how can I rehabilitate before him?? to

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №22536
 16.11.2009
How we celebrated Halloween. Natasha, ambulance officer
zig_zag (10:26:12 15/11/2009)
This Natasha went to the challenge at night! The thing was so, there was a repair in the apartment and painted the walls and something else was done, in short, all the ugliness, solvents there, something more smart builders guessed only to wash it in the toilet! The owner, a real Russian man, went to the toilet with a newspaper and a cigarette, sat down on the toilet, struck the lighthouse and threw it into the toilet, there was an explosion! Natasha arrives, and observes such a picture, a whale lies on his stomach, his pocket is lubricated with vegetable oil and a cut potato is applied (at burns they put a potato, but you can’t lubricate anything) she sees it and didn’t hold on asked them:- Did you even turn the potato? It will burn.
zig_zag (10:28:28 15/11/2009)
When they were driving back, they took the patient, she told the driver, he in a hysterical laugh went to the cabin.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №22535
 16.11.2009
A grandmother, 80 years old, is sitting watching a telecar - some field, a tractor... suddenly begins to rust. I am her: what are you? She: He was fucking me! Who is? My first love!
And he begins to tell the story: when I was a naive girl, I fell in love with the guy Kolka Zavyalova, and one day I came to him on a seamless, and he is a tractorist. We are talking to him, suddenly I see the HTZ stamp on the tractor, I ask that it means, and he seriously me so: Hut Traktorist Zavialov...I, he says, I remember walking proudly, my beloved, though Hut Traktorist, but on the tractor engraved))and I forgot about this at all, and I look at the story about HTZ, I immediately remember)) turned out to be Kharkov Traktor Plant!! to
This is how youth breaks down in old age.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №22534
 16.11.2009
Do you still think that time always runs smoothly? Tell this to the person at the last working hour on Friday before vacation. =) is

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №22533
 16.11.2009
Shef (11:02:21 13/11/2009)
I read Medvedev’s message.

Shef (11:02:23 13/11/2009)
In Russia will be created a nuclear engine, with the help of which you can fly, including to other planets.

Shef (11:03:07 13/11/2009)
What further measures to improve the Russian economy he will propose

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №22532
 16.11.2009
From today’s game depends whether the Russian national team will go to the World Cup or whether Slovenia will remain without gas.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №22531
 16.11.2009
We do not graze or sow,
We make a fool,
With the bell clock,
Destroying the clouds.

Y. Luzhkov "On the displacement of snow clouds over Moscow"

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №22530
 16.11.2009
Fuck the Indians. My calendar closes once a year. As if we live.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №22529
 16.11.2009
By the way, if the child squeezed his eyebrows with a little sauce, it is not necessary to roast and say "shake them." Not a family, but horses.

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