bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №21548
 19.10.2009
I loved this song...until I heard the neighbors sing it in karaoke...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №21547
 19.10.2009
I saw a banner on my classmates with the inscription:

It is fashionable and mobile.
With a new store!

I immediately remembered my favorite childhood poem:

Once, two, three, four, five
Since I was a kid, I’ve been friends with Rhythm.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №21546
 19.10.2009
From the discussion of the film Stalker (based on the novel of Strugatsky) 1979

Faust
I have nothing against the game – it’s great! But this movie is shit. The plot (normal) is not, the actors are reticent, the quality resembles the 50s of the USSR, even the sounds of the kakieto are unnatural. After the game could have made such a movie, and removed this lie. Don’t waste your time watching this car.

[ + 96 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21545
 19.10.2009
Call the parents. Just say these simple words on the phone: "I love you. I love it"

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №21544
 19.10.2009
She: In that month while I work, I have lost weight a lot.
That’s why the breast grows...
He: Could she be pregnant?
She says: Don’t give God!
What, is there coffee?
Once a year, the stick will shoot.
And whose stick did he shoot?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №21543
 19.10.2009
Most fighters for truth are actually fighting for attention to their own person.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №21542
 19.10.2009
The stewardess of the airline "Delta" carefully observes how the passenger hanged with huge bags is trying to push them on the upper shelf in the cabin of the plane. In the end, she advises to take them to the luggage compartment located in the tail.
"When I fly on other airlines, I react angrily.
Passenger, I have no such problem.
When you fly with other airlines, you are smiling.
Stewardess, I have no such problems either.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21541
 19.10.2009
Employees of the police under the guise of clients went into the sauna, took the girls, paid for services and after an hour, under the guise of customers left the sauna.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №21540
 19.10.2009
xxx: or as in kindergarten punished "You will behave badly, go to bed"
That would be punished in the army.
WOW :D

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21539
 19.10.2009
What do you think you can do in the cinema? =) is
Other than watching movies
He: There is
She: And what more?
It is drinking =)
She: What if you didn’t come to the cinema alone? ?
He: Well you give, of course not alone! There is a cinema for the people!

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №21538
 19.10.2009
Answer to this:

From childhood poor vision, never seen below the second side of the table.
-
You open Google, find and download Zhdanov lectures, restore vision in 2 months and do not hurt.
Shit, he might see.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21537
 19.10.2009
Give me the knives.
Tagged with: >8
XXX: The SP

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №21536
 19.10.2009
Did your parents beat you as a child?
YYY - No
Ohhhh, I would have been
WOW – from what?? to
A foot, for example.

[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №21535
 19.10.2009
We sit with a friend in a brick garage, the garage is extreme in a row, right behind it is a mountain. He complains to me about his girlfriend, disturbed by the esoteric type "I always get what I want". It screams "I want a BMW X5! I have long wanted! In a few minutes, a terrible blow is given, the brick wall collapses, and the broken nose of this car appears in the breakout, and followed by its deceased owner.

[ + 127 - ] Comment quote №21534
 19.10.2009
Do you not like hookers? Write the statements. No statement – no crime. No crime - disclosure in the local RUDD is good. Disclosure is good - mints may not catch anyone and not work at all. The menta does not work - the hops are scattered. For each episode there must be a statement. In the police will respond under various pretext - stand on your own. There was a crime, there is damage, I consider it to be significant. The point. If the head of the RUVD couple specifically fuck for poor disclosure of robbery or theft - his subordinates will find a way to bring relative order in the area, methods they have - no desire.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №21533
 19.10.2009
We are sitting on a pair with an old mathematician. An old plague living in his distant mathematical world. He is always interested in the origin of all interesting words. So, one day he, apparently hearing the word "pedic" and considering its origin, came to the conclusion that this is a shortcut from the word "pedagogue", and here one day on a couple, somehow it came to teaching methods, he gave us: "We, the pedagogues, each have their own methods."

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №21532
 19.10.2009
Difficult to reflect?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №21531
 19.10.2009
Kun -> Lingus : Guy, together we are the strength)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №21530
 19.10.2009
<xxx> How are you?
<yyy> I feel like a wing: no one likes it, but everyone uses it.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №21529
 19.10.2009
The wife brought from the school a document for a lecture at the classroom "One at home", issued by a teacher for educational work.
One of the pearls:

Do not enter the entrance if it is poorly illuminated, and on the staircase is full of sleeping bombs, drunkards and drug addicts, and do not jump out of it striving - you can jump on the encounter with (!) with sharp objects (Oh God, a crowd of sleeping drug addicts in front of me, and a maniac behind me??? With what???For example, the skyscrapers he put forward. Just a maniac. In the summer, weighing with ski sticks in the grain entrance).

Do not sit in the car in the car or cargo (as well as a tractor, excavator, concrete mixer), even if a woman is driving or in the cabin. (I am sitting in a concrete mixer with a female driver.)

Finally the season!

You opened the door and saw strangers. Knock her right away. Did they put their feet? Throw on it a gear or any heavy object that is prepared for these purposes.

So how? Many of you have giraffes or heavy, pre-assembled objects to dive on your feet near the door? If not, then you don’t care about the safety of your children!

Finally one more:

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