bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №6699
 11.06.2008
There was no electricity all day, the cables were cut off. And I need to work off-the-top, on the laptop the battery dies out in an hour and a half. The interruptor lasted three hours. I pulled the uninterruptor from another comp. In short, in a day 5 pieces of UPSs (continuous power sources) landed at zero. The lights were not given and promised to only turn on the next day for lunch. Well, the nail on the funnels is clever, take them, these funnels into the garage, I think, for the night I will put it to charge, in the morning I will take it, I will last half a day. I went into the garage, opened the luggage, where these jupes are standing, which I think to pull out. Take the extender, 5 wires and straight into
I packed the luggage and put it on charge. I drink beer, I smoke. Yups light bulbs amused blink, swing... A man passes by, stops smoking. Ocepenelo looks into the trunk, scratches the tail, pauses... asks scratchedly – and is it long enough? I started, without going in, explaining. What, say, depends on the load, the power of the computer, the capacity of the batteries... he listens, he listens and the next question - and accelerates how? And here it comes to me...

[ + 139 - ] Comment quote №6698
 11.06.2008
From the Translator Forum:

The concept of Kolobok is not translated at all, my attempts to somehow explain to non-Russian the fairy tale of a magical round bulk riding in the forest and mocking the animals, suffered complete failure. and"

[ + 118 - ] Comment quote №6697
 11.06.2008
XX: The people who are ready to support the HK "Salawat Yulia" and not shave until their victory?
YYY: I am ready to personally shave any idiot who is sick for any team and does not let other people sleep, is not sick for his team and consequently does not watch TV and does not interfere with the rest of other people like him.
Here you personally, the patient of the salad, imagine - you are sleeping after a great game of the same salad, sick, beer drunk, oral scuco and sleeping next to you....And here I am running to you at 4 in the morning with a whiskey and beer and blowing in a dunk and arun you in the ear - Чуваааак!You are not aware???!!! Our scientists have discovered a new polymer! Did you go through the city of Katatsa about this and signal?! to
So you read at least like Esau with his beard, that if you cover yourself with mold, it is only desirable to be silent...

Yes, for the sake of putting more power, I will even press [Bezdn] for the first time in two years!

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №6696
 11.06.2008
Elv
From the words Sex, Love, Luck, Success, Wealth, Car, Apartment, Wedding, choose the Word and leave me. Send it to everyone. If three identical words come back, it will happen.
ad
From the words Fuck, Never, Me, No, Send, Such, Fuck, choose everything and remember forever. Send them to all spammers. Otherwise you will be returned the word of Three Letters, not the same at all.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №6695
 11.06.2008
Modules were needed to work with lines. I took from a friend. A folder with an uncomplicated title "Strings", as I thought. I sit at work in the office. I cannot find the file. I call my friend. The dialogue:
Good morning, did I take the string? Do you know where I brought them? And I can’t find it... I need to find out on the desk urgently. I know they are there...
Since then I have been looked at strangely.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №6694
 11.06.2008
Chairman of the World
Tell me a story.

AlexB
There was a bipolar transistor.
MDP transistor with induced channel came to him.
Then they began to argue who was the best of them.

MDP says: "And I’m cool, I have an offgenic input resistance!"
And the bipolar replied to him: "And I have a great strength in the current!"
And an electronic lamp came to them and they stumbled in front of it.

And she said, "Boys, and I have a cathode heated to 1000 degrees. Who will take me?"
And took her bipolar, and burned his base.
And he took her MDP, and burned his prison.

MORAL: Use the lamp amplifiers))))))

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №6693
 11.06.2008
The Medical Website:
Patient's question: Is it possible to get an infection if a guy lays your vagina with a finger?
The doctor’s answer: Let’s clarify. My guy doesn’t lick his finger – I don’t have a vagina or a guy.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №6692
 11.06.2008
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX One of my acquaintances, waiting for disconnection like the manna of heaven, and as they disconnect, so he dusted the other end in the crane and begins to twist the counter, for 15 minutes the annual rate turns off and they have not paid for how many years :)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №6691
 11.06.2008
I’ve been very fond of xxx lately.

Oh well. You are a designer, right? O_O

xxx is. Fuck you designer! Now I have something to do while on the car with 512 MB of speed transformed the layout of 3x15 meters.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №6690
 11.06.2008
1> Soon Friday the 13th. A terrible day for admin. The technique will behave as it did.
2> Let go of these superstitions. What is Friday the 13th?
1> that is. Friday the 13th is superstition. And the drum is in our server room with the stickers of iron manufacturers. And your dance around the serwak last week is normal.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №6689
 11.06.2008
I go home with a friend, smoking a cigarette.
When I entered, my mom asked why my eyes were red, and I replied, I must admit, I’ve been hiding it for a long time, but now it’s time to tell you, the fact is that I’m a dolphin and my eyes are red in the air.
Mom started laughing, a friend broke in three minutes, and then I came to know what it was about.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №6687
 11.06.2008
Not I, of course, saw a lot, but putting the cell phone on charge to wish him a pleasant appetite...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №6686
 11.06.2008
The attention! and Akhtung! Scientists of Greece under the leadership of Professor Gavro O.V. The researchers identified discrepancies in the behavior of some types of headphones and experimentally obtained evidence that headphones suck human brain waves and transmit information and personal data to the Alfa Centauri orbit where they are taken by a special probe! In this regard, a red alarm is introduced and it is necessary to urgently destroy all types of headphones at your disposal - otherwise they will tell you everything! Special signs: extraterrestrial headsets have low intelligence, in connection with which they are confused when putting them in the pocket for storage!!! Colonel Matrosov, Head of the Unified Peripheral Transplanetary Center (EPTC)

And I just had to send this odmin as the answer immediately followed:
Zarkon (18:53:46 6/06/200)
It’s too late, I can’t take it off. The iPod headphones have penetrated too deeply into my ears, connected to the walls of my brain and now command me what to do.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №6685
 11.06.2008
Mirus
Slogan of Provider:
Do you want the internet?
Do you want an inexpensive?
Do you want a fast inlet?
Do you want a stable innet?
Fuck to you!

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №6684
 11.06.2008
I have a small explosion! :( is
The Flight: Push
No, a little bit more...
The airplane breath?
) ) )

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №6683
 11.06.2008
Angelo4ek (11:10:56 7/06/2008)
The customer came to us...BUGOGA Oleg Georgievich

The abbreviation (FIO) is what...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №6682
 11.06.2008
A 13 year old girl:
Favorite books: I don’t read books principally, life teaches me!

It is so sad (

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №6680
 11.06.2008
Programming Olympiad Server

Once on the border of two neighboring states, Customs officers stopped the programmer Vanu. He immediately caused them suspicion: he was constantly going there through the building of the customs, strangely looking at the sides and as if he had something in his mind. So I decided to do a full inspection. He was, of course, scared, said he was late and therefore so worried, but the customs officers did not listen to him, and they did the right thing. Ivan P. with the underground nickname Shebutny, was found 3 bags with various narcotic drugs, which there was not! In the bags, the drugs were distributed very correctly and none of them were repeated, with no more than 10 types of drugs in each bag. For the examination, the customs officers had to give exactly N types of narcotic drugs from each bag. The question arose before them: which drugs to give for examination, and which to destroy. Lieutenant Victor said that you need to look at all the possible options and choose from them, for which the officer Anton said that there may be too many options. Then they told Van that his conditions in prison would be much better if he helped them and calculated how many options to choose drugs. Vanya is a programmer, and he can only write programs, and his laptop was confiscated, so he asked you to help him. It is necessary to calculate how many different options you can choose the required set of drugs for the examination.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №6679
 11.06.2008
A bad programmer is one who has never dreamed that he is a compiler.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №6678
 11.06.2008
UFOlog
“If you will be silent as partisans, I will play the national German game with you – the Gestapo.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna