I am an investigator who recently received the title of Major. My husband is a teacher of Russian, now all joked: he said, without leaving the apartment, I can rest all year round at the majorka.

"I was very pleased when the weaver who made the fight live turned out to be not real.
I was also delighted when the enthusiast, who got on the face in the live broadcast, turned out to be real.

The cat hunters
At one point in my house there was something rough and rough. Bees and bees, I don’t know. Katie rushed into attack. He ran, jumped and sat. But the whisper is still heard. I started looking somewhere next to the cat. I thought he was holding her in his mouth. and Nifiga. The fucking sit. The Hunter

I wonder, those people who call oatmeal as a recommendation for breakfast, because it is not only useful, but also very nutritious, what are the alternatives to it? Green at the entrance? A mosquito caught at night. "Sweet"

We have a friend who works in a village school as a computer science teacher.
Thro the year, he drove home everything he could from schoolchildren, and as a result, he assembled a good gaming computer, and a month or a half later, the lightning went off, and the computer and the router burned fun.
Now we call him Sanya Karmastraik.

“Everything is made up of atoms, but beer is made up of very good atoms.”
Xen0n: It turns out, even atoms are worse than in Bavaria.

I once came from San Andreas (at the time of Hot Coffee) to the browser in which a porn site was opened. I had to explain to Bat that these are all viruses, and I am not in business.
Years later, I bought him a notebook to watch his football pieces there, and he, like any normal person who first came to the internet, used to watch porn. Burning, he told me, word by word, that these are all viruses, and he is not at work.

"This guy loves heavy music... not everyone likes Scorpions" - what??? "Scorpions" is heavy music? To breathe in the air, it is the opening of the century!

I had a friend who was fucking looking to buy Gondons. Therefore, he must have taken one of his friends with him to the pharmacy. One day, it hit me, and at another such event, I approached the pharmacist and asked: "Do you still have super-strong condoms for anal sex?" Since then, he has finally bought the Gondons himself.
Tagged with picabu (c)

Sexual cats
My cat is castrated. When he came to the country and realized the existence of mice, he brought them with great pleasure, alive and not very. And once even brought a very big goose. It’s not about caring for offspring.

Aist77> One of the deputies of parliament expressed itself directly and openly. In her opinion,...

ArinaA> :) They also write on the fence. and what?

Aist77> Generally, MPs do not write on the fence.

Generally, MPs grow up from those who wrote on the fence... and would better continue to write there.

Listened to colleagues working in a small and not too successful company:
If I go to church, let my wallet be consecrated.
Why is this yet?
The holy place is not empty. (

Cottage pasta is just another aggregate state of peelings.

I have my own dacha almost on the moon, and there is no one except the grandmother at all. They just got incredible. I followed the advice of a local acquaintance: Oral that there is strength to them in the face when meeting. Oral is not a male equal oral, but by moving to false, then to bass. And not with matte, but with a fierce nonsense which he could have invented: “Black milk of linen has burned my lips,” “Red dogs will drag you to hell.” I have never seen a more effective method of fighting mothers (without violating the law).

Anna: Yes, that’s where we decided to go to the cinema with Vanka. I list the poster, and among the fiction fighters I find the old poster of the movie Jumanji with Robin Williams and the company. A fresh year, 17th. I think oh. Here, on the way, the Jumanji was removed. He nodded his eyebrows: who instead of Robin Williams? I, cold, read: “The film will be devoted to the memory of Robin Williams, and his place will take... Dwayne Scala Johnson.” Vanessa has a facelift. And he says so: "Now fucking shit. I guessed. This is the same as escape from Shawshank 50centa take"...

I once, after drinking a beer and moving in the metropolitan subway, realized that I would drop down and not even have time to get up to the surface.

The urine that hit the head worked out the situation faster than the brain. And I understand with horror that I have already approached a group of police officers with a dog and horribly filled my eyebrows already asked, "So, who is the chief here?"



They stopped talking about life and smiling. They matched. One stumbled and threw, “Well, what’s the matter?”

– Let’s go, for two words – I also said seriously.



When we departed a couple of meters, so that it was not so heard, but it was still perfectly visible as the remaining group laid the combat hands on the special means, and the faithful dog took the stand... I already with a complaining voice asked: "Commandor, let go to the service toilet, and then I hear even to the middle of the escalator I will not bring..."



A serious, rude guard of order led me into the room, along the passage along the roads... and for a whole minute I cheered joyfully and restrained the pleasant mourning from the greatest shame in my life. At the exit, I thought that it would be better to thank a good fighter for universal safety and now even cleanliness. And he tried to give him a note equal to the cost of cleaning his pants... But the man in the shirt also seriously rejected the offer and asked for documents, adding to his mouths in half the voices "because there are cameras around..."



And I took a quick and easy step toward the escalators, and a senior law enforcement group joined his team. And at the escalator, I was struck by a friendly, bay-like squadron and even looked like a dog.

When I was a child, I kissed the lips of these sandals. In the iron back, in the frost.
X: I was taken home with the sandals, hell. The next day, the woman tastingly licked the tube on the frost!
YYY: So you have sandwiches and tubes in your house!

Master of Electronic Diagnostics.

The cat agrees with the Ecclesiastes. The only reason for any event is time. And if a towel falls from the sky, then it is time for a towel. When that happens, it can be shaken again.

xxx: I read the city of Nevinnomyssk as Nevinnosymsk. A great top named.

On the subject: He is it.
heard in the store. A 45-50 year old man said:
The dissolved coffee is good.

I have everything.
Now, of course, everything...