As it turned out, the most terrible sanction is the return to the homeland of Russian oligarchs.

I’ve been tightly on drugs a long time ago (salt fucking). There were no plans for the future of life, even the door of the entrance was not closed, so that they would not break if I died. I saw a cat beaten on the street. The back legs did not work, the teeth were broken out, the mouth was burned. I don’t know why, but I took her home. He had nothing to eat, but the cat was housed. I started caring for her. And if I could eat with my friends, I couldn’t feed my cat with them. And I frightened for her. I took care of her treatment. I even went to work because of the cat.

In all this spray, I did not notice that I have not used it for many days. He began to live as a man. Over time I met a wonderful girl who became my wife and 3 years later gave me a son. Now your favorite job, family, friends... There are problems, but they can be solved.

The cat died two years ago. I was like a wolf from this loss. She saved my life.

Peskov called the statements of the UK Foreign Ministry on sanctions against Russian oligarchs alarming.

Do you drink beer at the bar?
He is: Yes.
How many glasses a day?
He is: 3
What is the glass?
It is: 5 backs (including the teas)
How long have you started drinking?
He: 20 years ago
She: three beers a day is $450 a month, $4,400 a year. In 20 years, you have wasted $108,000
He: It looks like
She: If you kept that money in the bank, then, with interest for all these years, you could now buy a plane.
He: Do you drink beer?
She: No
He: Well, where is your bl...docked plane?

Anekdot.ru is the most reliable news source in Russia

In the 2000s there was an event:

Grandma went on mushrooms in the forest and got a good harvest of all mushrooms.

Arriving home, she prepared everything and finished preserving, moved to the basement, but after using the finished products, she stinked and died of a covid poisoning.

The relatives and friends with neighbors who came to the dining, took out of the cellar mushrooms for snacks.

4 buried, 10 in resuscitation!

The consumer basket will cease to be expensive if you add a little ammunition to the list of products of the first necessity.

At the time, the An-12 was flying with the boarding number of the USSR-11111, and the calling airfield of Salehard - "Virgo".
Flight 11111 approaches Salekhard:
Virgin, take five sticks per night.
The crew disappeared...

The political lifehack.
You are not afraid of economic sanctions if you do not have an economy.

It was 10 years ago, in one very popular electronics store in Silicon Valley (Fry's - who knows now slid). I bought some shit there for $24.99 (whether it was a flash or a cable). I am going to pay by credit. Suddenly the electricity is cut off. The management of the store begins to rush, saying the cash casinos do not work, say only cash. Okay, I get my wallet. There is a tax on the goods, and not a simple, but 8.25%. The cashier calls the manager. The manager makes a calculation. And then the circus begins:



M: 24.99 * 8.25?

I: Are you completely crazy?

M: 24.99 * 0.825?

I: Well let’s go so :-)

M: 20.62, not so can not be...

We must not multiply, but divide.

I: So let’s go!



At this time in a loud voice: "Today in the store a grand sale, discount 8.25%!"

My brother was the third child in the family. My mother brought it from the birthplace and turned it. He was long, but very thin. The eyes are round like the sows and the nose with a fifth.

We stand – I, Mom and Dad. The father looks at the son, then turns to his mother: "Something, Nadia, they get worse and worse with us every time! “”

My mother still remembers that phrase.

XXX: At the expense of the lightning ball. Probably nonsense, but in our country after a strong storm a glass in the window broke. A round hole of cm 6 in diameter with paved edges. To imagine that lightning food we could never.



YYY: Probably the AT-AT passed by and the crew fired a single shot from a turbo-laser gun, leaving a hole in the window. Apparently you are hiding in the dacha of the survivors after the cleansing of the Mandalorians, who, using the armor made of the bescar, managed to repel the shot. The Imperial Security Service has already advanced to you, do not leave the house, do not resist. Refusal to cooperate with the Empire is punished with death.



zzz: This version looks more convincing.

Sometimes after a person says, “Know me right!"He begins to carry nonsense and wild.

I will try to put two stories in one, because, as it turned out, they are very closely intertwined and influenced the life and worldview of two generations. And the third - (I) got out in the background, I try to tell you.
When we moved to live in a house and joyfully digged in the garden, Dad (namely, he initiated the move from apartment to house) never took a spade in his hands. When we tried to call him, we heard the same story: I already accumulated my own, my parents have a huge garden, only under the potatoes more than 20 acres, and plant more and more. First we plant, dye, gather bushes, collect potatoes, store (there were several warehouses), then we pick up until the moisture. In the end, most of it is thrown away. And then everything is new! Martyshkin's work, and why all this, but the father can't convince. Sage and all.
To some extent, I’ve heard this story. Usually after a trip to the village to his father, he observed the fact: the garden became larger. His two brothers were also surprised by this, but the older one pulled in and went to hunt the garden, perceiving it as a fresh air loading.
The second story is about Grandpa. To understand his life: in 1940 he went to the army. Soon the war began. But since he was a vision disabled from childhood, he was not sent to the front. They made him glasses with a lens thick in a centimeter (with them he went through his whole life) and sent to the Uralmash factory in Sverdlovsk. In Uralmache he eventually worked until his retirement. During the war, the factory made tanks. The shifts were up to 18 hours a day, sleeping right at the machines on wooden boxes. Moreover, the workshop did not stop the work, did not pay attention to the noise, just fell out of fatigue and hunger, so as not to waste energy on the way home. There was hunger from the very beginning and until the end of the war, grandfather almost died of hunger, and once after receiving a package of food from relatives from the village, he got a bowel wrench. He went to the hospital, there was lucky - healed and fed a little better.After the war with his wife built a house on the edge of geography, far beyond the city in a village near the swamps. Nearby lived relatives with whom he and his wife lived during the construction of the house: they themselves cut the bars and dragged on themselves. There was nothing, it was hungry and heavy. Then three sons were born, one of whom was my father.
All these stories I have heard, compared and thought many times. I remembered my grandfather, we communicated little, but from all this communication and all the information about him in general, I came up with the following: he was absolutely normal, if not counting the hobby of the garden. Therefore, somehow these words did not fit in the head. But the warehouses under the food I saw myself, including two practically in the forest.
Grandfather was gone and once dad again began to remember him and the garden: - Yes, you can live a whole year on the harvest, and in the spring everything was rotten and thrown away.
Here my puzzle began to fold. But to check the guesses, I began to clarify: and when did grandfather first start to increase the garden?
When my older brother went to town, he got married. And we are crawling here, we are crawling even more.
And then then?
And then when my second brother got married and left, I left alone for everyone. And then when my first niece was born...I understood everything!
War and famine affected my grandfather. Apparently, in order to be prepared for everything, he calculated how many foods a person needs to live a year and stockpiled. With the birth of a new member of the family, the reserves increased proportionally. He didn’t explain anything to anyone, just silently did something that could save the lives of his children, grandchildren and grandchildren, suddenly a war or disaster.
We uncovered the mystery of the garden, sad that it was so late.

The son brought his future wife to meet his mother for the first time. Everyone was silent for a long time, and the grandmother spoke first:
Enzo for not praying.

At a student party, a guy looked at me. He looked very carefully. I shot through the crowd. He shot too.

He “unexpectedly” came near and also suddenly said, “I’m married. A great party!” The man talked.

I fell into a precipitation. I am 17. I want love. He has 25 in sight. Of course he is married. Who will leave such a treasure alone? I, deciding not to go into the details of his marital life, just evaporated in the student crowd. I didn’t need those problems. Yes, and the married guy understood my hint immediately too. It evaporated, as it appeared... a flag in your hands, a drum on your neck, as they say.

A few weeks later, I learned that his name was Janet. The name is Kazakh.

My close friend fell in love, straight to madness. The woman was a noble manipulator, exposing the culprits, filling her lips, ruining the evening to everyone, sitting with a curved face and demonstrably bloating the nostrils. A classic of female hysteria.

And here a friend calls, in confusion, the lady wanted to rest, and a friend before the vacation for many months, contrary to the reproach she collected things and silenced, shouting loudly "I am at the airport looking for another." A friend asks, says what to do, tired of hysterics arranging. I offered to come to us with my husband, order pizza, beer, watch a movie. He came to us, we sat down, wrote a text message “why didn’t you come?” “why do I sit here now?” “I just left, and not quite” “You fool take me, what do I do to go back at night?”

And we what? They turned off the phone and had a great time, she didn't have tickets, she sat there, took out the remains of things a couple of days later and with the screams "you will never find one" disappeared from his life.

The cousin was supposed to have a wedding this weekend, but just wrote that everything is cancelled, there will be no wedding.



I decided to clarify what happened and overall the story is banal.





A couple of years ago he met a girl, about a year began to live together, he rented an apartment, she moved to him. But since you will not live forever on the seat, you have saved on your own, almost accumulated, but a little before the wedding did not have time. Initially planned a small wedding, but the girl and future aunt were able to convince that you need to know everyone and all, the wedding only once in life, and the apartment part of the wedding gifts will be closed, and part can be borrowed.



The affairs and the apartment were chosen and even the task was left, and after the wedding they had to subdue all the finances and finish the deal.





Preparation for the wedding in its course goes too, including invitations such as beautiful, part personally transported him, brought me, parents and grandfather including.



But if I only congratulated and promised to come, then my grandfather asked me, and how do I plan to buy an apartment, heard the answer about gifts and credit for the rest and said.



"Our grandson, that you will be connected with banks and interest, I put off the last years for funerals, and the sale of the plot remained, let me give you everything as a gift, you will make a surprise to your wife, you will bring it straight from the crown to your apartment, but if I go out before I accumulate again, then you are a normal tomb, not a box under an orange)".





He naturally agreed, said he really wanted to make a surprise to his wife, completed the deal, bought the apartment, even a small cosmetic repair in a couple of weeks he hired a familiar brigade to wrap up.





He says, “You know, I don’t know how to keep secrets especially well, here and then it happened that I slept yesterday in a conversation with my wife on the topic of the deal that nothing will need to be done, everything has already been bought. All I expected, but not that she would mourn me for almost an hour without ceasing to hysterize about the fact that I deceived her, that her mother was right, that she spent a few years on me in vain. Then I rushed to call my mom while I was sitting in shock, where I also wept what a goat. She returned and demanded that after the marriage, the half be rewritten on her so that she "would be confident and protected and could peacefully leave in a decree."



Well, then I did not understand this requirement and word for word collected her bags and sent it to my mother.



And in the evening with my grandfather I spoke and told him this, I thought he would be surprised, and he replied, "Well, it is not in vain that I took the risk that I was in a box of oranges" and I understood that he was already when the money was giving me such an option and that's why I gave them."





In general, they may, of course, still be reconciled, but the grandfather, the potential niece, is unlikely to love, but he thinks about it.

We cleaned the snow with our grandchildren in the garden. The oldest, 14 years old, cleans the roof of the barracks on his own. My 5 year old son and I clean the roads. The roads are cleaned, the grandson is still in need. They cleaned the entrances. Yet too little.

While I was thinking about what else to clean, my grandson began to throw the snow out of the roof onto the trail. I started cleaning off the road, for which I got an excuse from my grandson:

“Dad, do you think I’m throwing snow for you? ! to

“I don’t know,” I replied, “but do I have to clean it?

I’m not for you, I’m throwing snow for myself. Now I will scatter and clean it all.

And indeed, he shrugged a little more, gathered everything, and asked home: it was frozen.

I was very young, 2 or 3. On the way from the army, Daddy Brother came to us. And my mom decided to leave me with him for a couple of hours and go somewhere for business. My uncle went to the toilet. I closed it out there on a spongyard. And I run into the hall, excited by my heroic deed, I shut the door from all the way. It closed tightly. As I did not try to open it, it did not work. Further from Mom’s words. She comes. My brother is knocking in the toilet. There is a strong smell in the room. I cried, wept, wrapped myself in the newspaper and fell asleep on the floor.