XXX: The Girlfriend Told)) More from her face



A few years ago, I started taking care of a man. I complained that my back hurt. He immediately suggested: It is you in the bathroom you need to bring and massage to do, you will be like new! I’ll finally have sex! But in the bathroom, I took a swimsuit, so that I didn't immediately swim, but how to look decent. Well, I lie down, he does the neck massage. You, he says, here the rope on the swimsuit has unfolded. I am bound!!! to



Then I asked him when he brought me home: and where is sex??? Did he really think that a woman with a man goes to the bathroom for a massage??? You said it, you didn’t say it straight!



She told him to have sex the next time. agreed in general.



She says she was just extremely surprised at this situation, and I think he was right.



I agree, the ideal man.



zzz: And the perfect woman, who even from the second attempt, but still said exactly what she wants))

That was a long time ago, during the Soviet Union. My mom’s girlfriend was pregnant without her husband. I decided to give birth. Dad did not look for his child. Pride did not allow. At the end of the day, I decided to go shopping. I found a good dining service. held the turn. I bought. be heavy. I called a taxi. In general, she was tired, tired of overstress, but she started giving birth...right in a taxi. A taxi driver was forced to give birth to her. Then I came to the birthplace. He took it from the maternity home and eventually married.Vida felt his responsibility to the baby.

At the age of 93, I was driving as an accompaniment, with a group of schoolchildren to Peter for an excursion. The case was on March 31. Among the adults were two teachers and the director of the school. Well, and a whole wagon of varying sexes of large-age balbes. We, of course, tried as far as we could to maintain discipline, but our strength was barely enough to keep track of whoever stood behind the train, did not smoke, and did not get drunk. The schoolchildren (10th grade) felt the freedom, scattered on the scratch. The wagon sounded whisper, rust, topot, music from cassettes. By night, the children were tired, humbled, and we somewhat rushed them over a bunch. They breathed, drank minerals, and the fairy tales fell as well. However, not all of our guards slept that night. A group of hooligans, armed with tubes with toothpaste, insidiously penetrated the teacher's coupe, and cared for authority and discipline, committed an act of disgusting vandalism over the leadership. It was the teacher of history. His baldness was covered with a thick layer of striped blendomet. The teacher of English got a vulgar makeup, and the director was simply put on the face of everything that was left. Your submissive servant did not get toothpaste. In addition, I slept very "uncomfortable" wrapped in a blanket with my head. Only my feet out. Therefore, the craftsmen didn’t come up with anything better than making me a pedicure. The lakes were chosen varied. Having completed their black affair, the wanderkings broke up in places and fell asleep.

Early in the morning. The teachers woke up, looked at each other, scratched their teeth and went to wash. Then quietly, in order not to restore the bullts, they gathered all the scattered clothes in a bunch, bound a long garland from it and hanged along the corridor, carefully interwoven the perils and not climbing on the nodes. Then we cleaned up in our cup. They brought themselves a status-appropriate look, and sat down to drink tea with cookies, as if nothing had happened.

When all our Hogwarts finally pierced their eyes, it turned out that not only we were spotted with pasta. With thorns and stinks, they broke up the garland, pushed in the toilet, washed the evening makeup, and went to us to complain about life and each other. - San Igrić, I have a cough пропалааа... I have to brush my teeth with someone else... And tell them that we also need to go to the toilet...

Eventually, order was restored, things were found, students were washed, dressed and fed. And the only reminder of that first-April night was just a chic pedicure on my feet. It was a good lac. I held for half a year.

XXX: I sat on the plane next to a family couple. They were looking at a movie collection, and I told the woman that one of the movies is just tearing through. She replied that her husband is very sentimental when it comes to sad films. Her husband got angry and told her that it wasn’t true and didn’t have to share it with a stranger. After a while, she grabbed my hand and secretly asked me to look at my husband, who was watching the film I recommended, and cried, rubbing my tears with towels.



A real man is so confident in himself and his masculinity that he cheers without embarrassing anyone!

worked in school. In the dust of the quarrel, one second-class student called his classmate fat. She called to herself, repaired the imaginary glasses on her nose, and began to talk about the fact that it was ugly to judge a man by his appearance, and even more insulting, that the word could offend, that the girl was not complete, but apparently from insult to her he wanted to hit her... The boy quietly listened to everything, and then said, “Well, I understood everything. I won’t call her fat, I’ll call her stupid.”

xxx: The most beautiful and cool boy is a high school student from my school, who was wearing a crushed cloth and tunnels in his ears, now a sleepy worker of a gathering with a child and a faint face.

Maybe the rebel lives in it, but cool and interesting it doesn’t really look.



Yyy: But now he really wants to die, as he dreamed

I once had a flight. We were still on the ground, it took a long time to fly. The girl in the position, and, in addition, with the child, made a note to the lady, loudly roaring a matte on a half-plane, which in response received a blast. The husband of the pregnant woman did not stand aside, so Deboshirke also got. The result was a delayed flight, waiting for police. It was necessary to see how instead of a rough mother-in-law in the sight of the police appeared a victim of horrible cruel male violence. The police have no right to turn her and force her out, and the lady did not want to leave the plane lovingly, arguing that there is no one guilty party in the conflict, say, let the family be taken too. The boatman whispered about something with the family, everyone was taken out. The first to the bus separately from the family of the village Deboshirka, said, why do you go in the same bus, suddenly get there again. The doors closed, the booth began to leave, and the family waved her pen from the trap and returned to the plane.

Here’s why – include the 2020 Italian family comedy “Italian holidays”:

Normal life situations, real simple and understandable heroes, warm and pleasant atmosphere - the same people as us!



You include a domestic modern comedy - or a blackwoman, or an unwavering drunkenness, or a major with an overwhelming number of people, or a puppy... you stop believing in the heroes immediately...



Can our filmmakers not make a good movie about real normal people?

I go out to the backyard of college, and there is my group, standing, smoking, carefully opposite a bunch of dry leaves. How not to defile them? I run, beat the dog, and there is a pen in it. Those who roam, say - smoke, wait for the next 🤣

XXX: The condoms of course went wild. But they are still much cheaper than bringing a child to school.

Small winning wars are like drugs. Over time, the previous dose ceases to work, and it needs to be increased.

We are on vacation. I am a husband:
Today is the day I dreamed of as a child. For breakfast – cake, then into the park on the carousel. Lunch with ice cream. For dinner a cake.
The husband:
I am for. All with cognac.

Why are athletes who change Russian sports citizenship to a different one considered traitors, and officials who drive bablo abroad in cars and have foreign passports in the safe are impeccable patriots?

Everything we don’t do is done for the worst, so it might be better not to do anything.

So it happened that I needed to take a taxi. The taxi arrived, the driver, according to the tradition, speaks Russian with an accent.
We have already gone to our native village, wandering along a narrow village road. At one of the turns on the opposite side is a truck, and so that people have to travel around it and meet it while silent, but to get out.
We approach him, and suddenly a large such crossover begins to travel around him, while coming out to us almost in the forehead. A woman driving. The taxi driver reacted, but late, the woman driving the crossover also stumbled. The mirrors did not disappear. The taxi driver stops, insults with bad words in his native language, from which I realize that the woman is clearly the daughter of the devil and in his homeland women are not allowed to drive. The woman also stopped and waited.
I ask the taxi driver how much the mirror costs. He pretends, he calls the sum. I put my wallet in, I get the money, I extend it. He is confused, says the police need a protocol, let it pay.
No need, I answer, I am in a hurry, and a woman like that can be regretted.
He calmed down, took the money, went on, he nodded his head, what a noble man, a woman regretted.

Well not to explain to me that I didn’t want to read about the following in the protocol of the GIBDD:

Citizen of Durnevo, driving a vehicle of the brand K, belonging to the citizen of Durnevo. She went to the lane intended for opposite traffic and allowed a collision with a vehicle of the brand H..y, under the control of Jamsut Ravshanov. The witness, who was in the a/m mark H..y - a citizen of Durnev, the husband of a citizen of Durneva.

I grieve when I see vacancies as the advantages of working in this company - timely payment of wages. You would still write - you won't be beaten at work, or something like that...

We are on vacation.

I am a husband:

Today is the day I dreamed of as a child. For breakfast – cake, then into the park on the carousel. Lunch with ice cream. For dinner a cake.

The husband:

I am for. All with cognac.

Retribution is the belief that good will triumph, and Justice is just a profession.

Half of

We live in an apartment on the first floor. We are four – my husband, my five-year-old daughter and grandmother. Our grandmother is 80 years old, and for the winter we take her out of the village, and in the summer she definitely returns to her house, not wanting to sit in the city. The garden still plants and goes fishing.

With my grandmother to us always moves the cat Bubble - a white-red bandit in the village, but very affectionate in the apartment. His grandfather called it a bubble when he was still alive, after the cat struck his bubble with valerian and tried to open it for three hours. Grandfather could not withstand these torments, opened the bowl and dropped a little on the penny. The cat sat there and slept for four days, not even eating.

Then there was a thunderstorm, and the rain wiped away the remnants of the smell. The cat was still approaching for a long time, smelling the foam and breathing loudly. Grandfather he loved very much, and he called him kindly Puzik. When his grandfather died, the cat went to the cemetery every day for 40 days. Then it stopped at all! Such a mystic.

And recently, the love of the cat for the valerian turned into communication with law enforcement forces for the family.

That evening, my grandmother got something upset after watching her favorite series and decided to drink valerian. But accidentally the bubble fell and a little liquid poured out on the floor. There was a characteristic smell in the apartment.

The bubble, feeling a favorite smell, issued a wild cry and rushed to lick the floor and roll in the medicine. My husband didn’t come up with anything better than opening the balcony to ventilate, and I ran to the bathroom for a cloth to wipe out.

The grandmother was seated in a chair, and Puzik with uterine rattling turned out on the floor. By these sounds the surrounding cats understood – here they are poured!!! And rushed to us through the open balcony - the first floor!

They also made strange sounds. The bubble began to defend its territory, a big cat fight began. The husband ran to close the balcony so that new animals did not find, on the road several times was scratched and bitten. The grandmother was attacked by a hysterical laugh, and the daughter hid in the bathroom and ate from there.

There were more than a dozen cats in the apartment. What was to do with them? They did not give up and fought with each other. Neighbors were frightened by the wild noise, knocked on the door, but we were not before them. Then they decided that there was some kind of murder and called the police.

The police who arrived were shocked by the deceased — the husband scratched, all in blood, a bunch of cats and a whispering grandmother in a chair. They did not know what to do and called an animal rescue service.

Two uncles arrived, quickly caught the cats with large baggage sacks and sent them to the balcony through the fork, where another 5-6. We had to pay for the “release of the apartment.” Our cat was thrown out!

I had to run to look for him. Fortunately, he was already well - he was lying on the bench, not going to run. Under the balcony, people gathered and had fun.

Then my grandmother and I treated my husband, calmed the child, cleaned up in the apartment. The bubble slept happily on the window. We did not risk opening the windows and the balcony for a couple of weeks - cats were constantly pushing around...

If my son becomes a priest, will I have to call him a “Batty”? Is he “my son”?